Keeping Secrets In Can Cause Tumors, You Know

“Thank you guys again!” Dory said one last time before we all left. The interview was killing me to ask Nick about what he had just said. I am his best friend, so he should be able to tell me right?

“Hey, Nick?” I asked. I had realized I was trailing at the back of the group. I’m guessing we were heading to the car.

“Yeah?” he said once he had approached me.

I looked down, “Uhm, what was that interview about?”

I looked up and saw that he had no idea what I was talking about. “Which part?” he finally asked.

“The part where you said you hated it when people lied or something, or hid what they really felt. What was that about?”

He looked down and smiled. “You should know,” he said.

I had a couple of ideas, but none that could explain this situation. “Not exactly.”

“Tell me your theories,” he said before laughing.

“Oh! So now we are going Twilight? Okay! Well, I think you like someone,” I said.

He looked at me with a small smile on his lips. “You have gotten that part right.”

“Oh, come on! There’s more?” He nodded. “Wouldn’t it to be easier for you to just tell me?”

He shook his head. “This is more fun. Plus, I want to know what you think.”

I sighed. “Uhm.. well.. I can’t think of anyone who it could be,” I said completely honest. I have no clue. Even though I know who I wish it could be.

“Think, Ams. I know you know,” he said.

Okay, maybe now I have a theory. It’s not that it might be wrong, it’s that I’m afraid of saying it if it is true.

He laughed all of a sudden. I looked at him. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh, nothing,” he said, laughing once more. “I just remembered something Joe said.”

“What was that?”

“Keeping in secrets can cause tumors,” he said before laughing again.

I laughed along, but hoped what Joe said was not true. “Well, if it’s true, tell me your secret! Who do you like?”

“I don’t like anyone,” he explained.

I sat there dumbfounded. “So you lied to Dory? I mean it’s not like you haven’t done it before, but this is sort of a completely different situation then all of those other times-“

“Amber, I didn’t lie to her, not technically.” I looked up at him.

“I am tired of trying to think! You are making my brain hurt! Damnit, Nick! Just explain!” I said kind of harshly.

“Sheesh.” He took a deep breath. “Okay, well first of all, I sort of did lie to Dory. I don’t like anyone, I love someone.”

“Aww!” I said, slapping his arm. He smiled at me. “That’s so sweet! But, Nick, you’re only about to turn sixteen. How would you know what love is?”

“Okay, then let’s just say that I don’t know what love is. Whatever feeling I get every time she talks, and every little thing I noticed about her that makes me like her a lot has to be more than just liking her. All I have to say is,” he took a long, deep breath, “man what a feeling.”

I looked at him in astonishment. “Nick, I didn’t know you were so deep! That is really amazing how you feel about someone like that.”

Let’s bring this back to me. I, on the other hand, have two feelings right now.

1. My heart is breaking since Nick is spilling to me that he loves another girl.
2. My heart is beating faster at the hope of Nick saying he loves me.

But, if it comes down to the choice that he does love another girl, I won’t break down. As long as Nick is happy, I am happy. I just really need to find out who that girl is.

“Thanks, Amber,” he said. I looked up to see everyone else about twenty feet away. “Yeah, we are behind,” Nick said.

“I don’t care,” I said, regretting it.

He looked at me, but surprisingly.. he smiled. “Really? So do I. Like old times.”

I smiled and looked down. I just wish that he would stop talking about the old times. They are called old times for a reason. They are old! And they are going to stay that way. Nothing is going to change how I feel. I looked up and noticed Nick was looking at me.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Nothing,” he said, trying to hold back a smile. I shrugged.

FFFFAAAASSSSTTT FORRWARD TO NICK’S PAARTTYY

“Thanks, man!” Nick said as he ripped open his present from Joe. He stared at the signed Yankee t-shirt in front of him. “No way!” he yelled. “Joe, come on. I can’t take this.”

“No, really, it’s fine. It’s your birthday,” Joe said.

“You’re really something, Joe Jonas,” Mikayla said to Joe. He turned and looked down on her, smiling.

I saw Nick was done with all of his presents and he slunched back in his chair. “Thanks, everyone! You have really made this the most amazing birthday I have ever had!”

“Let’s get some music, DJ!” Joe yelled towards the DJ booth.

Kiss Me Thru The Phone came on and Nick continued sitting while everyone walked over to the middle of the field. I walked over to him and sat on the table. “Happy birthday, Nick!”

He looked up and smiled. “Thanks, Amber.”

I held his gift behind my back tighter. “Uhm… can I give you my gift? Privately?”

He stood up and immediately said, “Sure!”

We walked inside and over to a bench and made sure no one was around. “Why does this have to be done privately?” Nick asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know; I think because this gift means a lot to me, and I don’t want just anyone to see it.”

He smiled. “Well, where is it?”

I laughed. “Here, Nick.”

I handed him the box and watched as he started to rip the paper open. “You better hurry up, because people are going to be wondering where the birthday boy is.”

He smiled and looked up, “I don’t care.”

I smiled and looked down. Aha. I heard silence so I looked up and saw Nick staring at the front of the scrap book that contained almost every picture we have ever taken together since we first met.

“Amber… this is so amazing. I am being completely honest when I say this is the greatest gift anyone has given me,” Nick said as he slowly looked up and locked eyes with mine. I sent him a shy smile as he looked back down and quickly flipped through all of the pages. Each one had about three photos on them and were loaded with memories. There were about 100 pages in the scrap book.

About five minutes later, Nick came to the end of the book. “What’s the empty slot for?” Nick asked as he ran his fingers slowly across the empty metal slot.

I smiled at him as I pulled a camera out of my jacket pocket. “To put this picture in it. Come on,” I said standing up.

He stood up and straightened his plaid shirt out as he walked over to me. The camera I got was the kind of camera where you take the picture and the actual picture thing comes out. I’m not sure what they are called. Aha. Remember? Blonde here!

“One… two… three,” I said. I clicked it and Nick gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.

I laughed on the outside while screaming on the inside. “What was that for?”

“For the present,” he said with his heart-breaking smile.

I looked away. “Well, thank you.”

He cleaned up the gigantic mess he made as I watched the picture in my hands become clearer. When it was done, I smiled at how perfect Nick and I looked together. It was official. I would murder someone if I couldn’t find out who Nick loved.

“It came out perfect,” Nick said from over my shoulder.

I jumped a little. “Yeah, it did.”

He picked up the scrapbook and opened it to the last page. He held out the book for me as I slid the photo into its place. “Nick, I really need to talk to you.”

He set the scrapbook down as we both walked back over to the bench. “About what?”

I tried to find the most easiest yet convincing way to make him spill without making him realize I am in love with him. I got it! “You know how Joe said that keeping in secrets can cause tumors?” He nodded with a smile. “Well, you better tell me who you like, or, my bad, love before you die of a tumor! I’m just trying to save your life!”

He laughed and slapped his leg as I sat there calmly. “Amber,” he said as he finished laughing, “if you really want to know that badly, you could have told me you did! I can’t believe you went and quoted Joe!” He began his roar of laughter once more.

“Okay, I get it. It’s hilarious. Ha. Ha. Ha. Now tell me,” I demanded.

He stopped and smiled at me, “Okay. You can’t tell anyone, okay?”

I nodded. This is it. It’s like whatever he is about to say will lead my life in one direction or the other.

He hesitated and looked deep into my eyes. “I don’t know, Amber,” he said looking away. “It’s really hard for me to admit.”

“No, it’s fine. I won’t tell anyone. I promise on our friendship,” I quickly said.

He looked back at me and I altogether stopped breathing. The way he looked at me was so intense yet soft and gentle at the same time. “Amber, I really like-“

“There you are, Nick!” Joe yelled.

I turned around, infuriated. “Joe, don’t take this the wrong way, but go away!”

“Well, then!” he said before making his dramatic exit.

I turned back to Nick. “Okay, now tell me.”

“You know, Amber? That’s a sign. Let’s just drop it and go dance and enjoy the party.” Nick got up and walked towards the stadium doors.

“No, Nick! You have to tell me now! I need to know!” I said as I stood up.

He turned around and walked over to me. “Why do you need to know so badly?”

I was about to say something, but realized I had no words to say. I couldn’t tell him, “Because I’m in love with you, my best friend, and I need to know if you love me too or not!” No. That’s a big no, no. That gets locked up in the no-no jar.

“You know me,” I began, “when my curiosity gets the hold of me, there is no going back.” I really hated lying to Nick, but it was for a good, reasonable reason.

“Fine, Amber! You want to know?” I nodded. “It’s… Selena!”

My jaw dropped about an inch. “Gomez?” He nodded. I literally felt like someone took a hammer and put a wedge in the middle of my heart and hammered at it mercifully till it finally broke. “Oh, well, she’s pretty.” It wasn’t the answer I really expected, but then again, how could I be so crazy enough to even think that he could feel a tiny bit about me like that?

“Yeah, but remember you cannot tell anyone!” he said.

I nodded. “I promise,” I said, weakly.

“Well, let’s go have some fun!” Nick said as he grabbed my hand. The feeling I get from holding his hand now is completely different than before. It feels like my hand is love and his is a wall. Put it together and you get nothing but unwanted love.

Weird? Yeah, I know. But that’s exactly how I felt around Nick now. Weird.