You Saved Me

“I miss you so much.” she read off her phone and she couldn’t help the small smile that made its way across her face as a pang of longing was sent through her body.

Saying goodbye to Joe was probably one of the hardest things she’d had to do.

Despite the fact that he was, no doubt, coming back in a matter of two days.

But for her, saying goodbyes was always a permanent thing.

Ya know, with her situation and all.

Whenever she left a family, it was for good. Not for a short period of time.

And she was so glad Steph was right there by her side to let it sink in that he was coming back.

She was so thankful she had Steph as a friend. And the fact that Steph knew everything. It made things so much easier.

She didn’t have to freak out and come up with stupid reasons for why she freaked out in the first place when she was with Steph.

And since she was with Steph for the last two days, it made everything so much easier for her at the moment.

Granted, everything would be easier if Joe knew the truth, she was able to be a normal teenager again, have her parents back and the sick son of a bitch who killed her parents was dead.

But hey, you take what you can get.

And she was.

“I miss you too. When are you leaving again?” she text him back and smiled slightly thinking about how nice it would be to have his arms wrapped around her while they cuddled up and watched a movie instead of being stuck in the auditorium on this, oh so lovely, Saturday.

“So…do you think that I should get the strawberry smoothie or the pineapple one?” Steph asked and then looked at Brittany with lost eyes.

Clearly, they were both calling her name and she couldn’t decide.

“Get both.”

“I can’t have both!” Steph yelled back at her, as if Brittany told her to date Kevin and someone else at the same time.

“Just get them both as smalls. That way you can have both.” Brittany clarified and then directed her attention back to her phone since it went off again.

We leave tomorrow at 9 at night and won’t be home until about 4 in the morning on Monday because of the time difference. But I’ll call you in 10 minutes? Ok?

She nervously looked around at all the other kids who were ordering lunch to see how much longer she would have in order to talk to him.

“Sure.” she quickly text him back and then put her phone away into her pocket and started looking over the menu Steph was currently looking at.

“That’s an excellent idea. I love that you think like that. Ok..so I’m gonna get both smoothies that are smalls and…” Steph trailed off and looked at the rest of the menu.

Who knew that ordering a drink would end up being a 5 minute ordeal…

“A Meatball Panini” Steph’s said and then she smiled at Brittany out of satisfaction.

And food would be 5 seconds.

“That’s sounds good. I’ll have that too.” and with that they called the restaurant and ordered their food like every other kid was doing who didn’t bring a bagged lunch.

“So how are you holding up?” Steph asked after she got off the phone.

“Pretty good I guess. I just really miss him.” Brittany sighed out and laid down onto her back, tucking her hands under head and looking up at the tall ceiling of the auditorium.

“Yeah…” Steph sighed out and laid down next to her. “I know how you feel.”

“Doesn’t it feel like they’ve been gone for so much longer?” Brittany asked quietly.

Steph just nodded her head and they both laid there in silence, both in bummer moods now that they thought about how Joe and Kevin weren’t going to be getting back until tomorrow or Monday morning at 4.

At least, they were silent until Brittany’s phone burst into life from in her pocket.

After her heart attack passed and her breathing became normal again she smiled, reading the name of the caller.

Joe.

“Hi!” she said excitedly right as Steph’s phone burst into life as well from, you guessed it, Kevin and she practically mimicked Brittany’s greeting.

“So how’s the play coming along?” Joe asked her and her smile was solidly smacked onto her face just from hearing his smooth voice.

“Pretty good. But it defiantly sucks without you here. It’s just not as fun having Steph bicker with herself since you’re not here to bicker with her.” and Brittany laughed when she caught a glare from Steph before she turned her back to her to get more privacy to talk to Kevin.

He laughed lightly into the phone and then it got silent between the two for a few seconds before he whispered something into the phone.

“What? I didn’t catch that.” she said and got up and walked out of the auditorium since she thought she was losing the signal.

He sighed loudly into it and then said a quick, “Yeah…ok. Hey Britt, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later?”

Sadness washed over her from having their conversation cut so short but she nodded and said a quick yes anyways.

“Ok. And just remember, 2 more days till I see you again!” he said a little bit more upbeat to get her spirits up, which it worked slightly.

“I know. Have fun Joe. And…bye.” and with that she hung up.

It was hard for her, wanting to lay it all out on the line and say it to him.

I love you.

It was just three simple words, and yet, it meant so much.

She took a seat on the tiled floor of the hallway outside of the auditorium and leaned up against the wall and let out large sigh.

“What have I got myself into?” she whisper scolded herself while smacking herself in the forehead with the side of her fist.

And she jumped slightly when her phone started vibrating again and she looked to see who it was.

And almost immediately all her sadness and stupidity she felt at the moment, left her body and was replaced with happiness.

“Laura!” she practically yelled into the phone from how excited she was to hear from her ‘Social Worker.’

Laura practically became her mother since she was always the one who was in charge of Brittany and where she went. She would even sometimes come out and visit and take her out to dinner or something so Brittany and her could vent and talk about how things were going at the moment.

“Hey kiddo. Listen…we nee-” her familiar voice sounded through the speaker of the phone and Brittany felt a warm surge of energy run throughout her body.

“Oh my gosh, I’m having so much fun here! I have friends Laura! Like Steph. And she’s so much fun. And there’s this guy, his name is Joe and ugh. He’s…amazing. And I’m in this play, Cinderella, and guess what?! I’m the lead role. I’m Cinderella. But anyways back to Steph and J-” Brittany gushed out at warped speed but stopped when Laura’s stern voice said “I know.”

Brittany’s heart started pounding a mile a minute at that voice. She only heard it once and it wasn’t directed towards her when she heard it. It was towards Laura’s now ex-husband. Something about him wanting to take the pool with him but Laura had told him absolutely not. He was the one who cheated, he doesn’t get anything he wants.

“You know? How do you know?” she asked back, clearly taken by surprise and a little scared with how sharp and strict Laura’s voice was.

“Well I knew about the boy. It’s all over the magazines. How did this happen Brittany?! You’ve got a lot of explaining to do. And play? Did you say play?” Laura’s stern voice turned a little higher pitched, indicating that she was on the verge of yelling.

Panic started to set in on Brittany that Laura knew about Joe.

It was one of the rules of W.P.P.

You didn’t form relationships with people. They would only become a casualty.

“Umm…no. I said plague. I got the plague.” Brittany said quickly and then rolled her eyes, knowing that Laura wouldn’t buy it. Not even Frankie would.

“Brittany, how did this happen!? You know you can’t be in a play. Not with Gables resurfacing and everything! He’s been spotted in Illinois and Missouri! You have to get out of it. It’s not safe. We think he’s headed West towards where you are!” she heard Laura’s panicked voice shriek through the end of the phone receiver.

She got up from where she sat and headed down a random hallway, leading her away from anyone who might have been eavesdropping or just walking around.

“But I can’t Laura. It’s almost done with anyways and look…I’m still alive. Plus I actually feel like a normal kid with this play. Please don’t take that away from me. And I don’t want you to take it the wrong way but you told me to have fun and I am. I’m being a normal teenage girl. Making friends, being in plays, having somewhat of a relationship wit-”

“Relationship? You can’t have an actual relationship! I thought it was just a lunch date!” Laura’s panicked and upset voice rang through the phone.

Brittany continued walking down the random hallway, not really paying attention since she was so engrossed on Laura’s slow and loud breaths she was taking from the other end of the phone.

“I’m happy for you Brittany. Really I am. But not to the point where it’s going to jeopardize your life and someone else’s.” she said slowly, with a little hint of compassion in it. But the next sentence she said took all the compassion right out of her voice and left Brittany with a hole in her chest and gasping for air.

“You need to end the relationship with the boy.”

“But-” Brittany started, the tears starting to well up in her eyes, but Laura’s stern voice started up again.

The well trained, ‘I’m the agent and you are my charge and I’m the one who tells you what to do in order to stay alive’ voice was back now.

“I’m sorry, but you have to end it now. I might be able to get on board with the play, but absolutely not with this boy. It’s just going to cause more trouble, since it already is. If Gables has been paying any attention to magazines and stuff, he’s gonna know exactly where to find you. And I won’t allow it. We‘re thinking of a plan right now. So go home and pack your bags. You might be moving again.” she said sternly.

Brittany knew not to argue with her, but this time. This time it was different.

“Fine. I’ll end it! If that’s what you really want me to do! But you are not making me move. I love it here. I actually have friends. I have a life outside of being scared out of my mind and I’m sick and tired of running from him. How are we ever gonna catch that damn freak if I keep running? If I keep running, he’ll keep running after me.” Brittany yelled back, knowing she was sounding like a brat but she didn’t care.

Plus, there was some truth to what she said.

She loved it here. Despite the fact that she just made a promise she didn’t know if she could keep.

Joe was the first person here she let get close enough to her to break down her walls. And even though he didn’t know the whole truth, he still knew more than everyone except for Steph. And yet he had no idea. He thought it was just her being a good actress when she told him stuff.

“You make an excellent point.” Laura’s voice brought her back from thinking about Joe.

She listened as Laura took a deep breath and she took a moment too, to take a deep breath as well to try and keep her tears at bay while at least on the phone with her.

“Fine. We won’t move you. You can stay there. But you have to end it with the boy. Sure, if Gables knows about where you are, that’s great…to an extent. At least if he knows where you are, we know where he is. But if there’s more info about you and this boy, he’ll start looking towards him because that’ll be his hook. His way to get to you. So you have to end it. Got it?” Laura said, laying down the law in her strict voice.

She couldn’t stop the tears then. Knowing that the only way to save Joe from potential harm was to break up with him and stop talking to him all together.

If she was a bitch to him, he wouldn’t try to be with her and that’s what he needed. What his family needed for their safety.

And she loved him enough to want to keep him out of harm’s way, despite how fast and powerful her feelings for him came.

And that’s when she broke down. Right there on the phone. And in the middle of the hallway she fell to her knees.

She loved him. And yet, he would never ever know.

He’d never know how important he was to her and how happy he made her because after this phone call, she knew that she couldn’t tell him and expect him to stay away from her.

“Brittany….” Laura’s soft and nurturing voice was back, only bringing more tears to Brittany’s eyes. “I’m so sorry sweetie. And you know I want you to be happy. But this is something you have to do. You knew the rules of the program from the beginning. And forming romantic relationships was one of them. If you truly care about him, you’ll end it for his own safety.”

She nodded her head in understanding and took in deep breaths to steady herself.

“I have to go.” she said through her tears into the phone while picking herself up off the tiled ground.

“Ok.” and Brittany could practically hear the tears in the back of Laura’s throat that were fighting for an escape. “And again, I’m sorry.” and with that said she hung up.

Brittany hit the end button and closed her phone and shoved it into her pocket while sliding down the lockers that she was leaning against, ignoring the little jab that the lock gave her when it hit her vertebrae.

She stared off towards the other wall, not really looking at anything particular even though it was covered with pictures of Homecoming.

She was reminiscing.

Reminiscing about how Joe’s smile made her heart flutter and his laugh made her look at him with adoration. How his winks made her catch her breath and the way his hair always landed on his face while he was concentrating about something.

And then she scolded herself internally and started hitting the locker to the left of her, banging her fist against it to make a loud noise, but she didn’t care.

She was in so much pain.

And none of it was physical.

Her biggest mistake was letting him get so close. So close where, if he wanted to, he could get anything he wanted out of her.

And now she had to push him away from her. Pretend she didn’t care about him at all so he would keep his distance from her. Be mean to him so he wouldn’t want to talk to her again, while in doing so it would be killing her more than anything.

But she had to protect him. It was the only way. And if not just for his safety, but his whole family.

God, please help me. I’m gonna need you more than ever to get through this.