You Saved Me

“So…what’s this good news you had to talk to me about?” Steph asked her friend as they walked down the hall side by side. Clutching their books and things to their chests in fear that someone would bump into them and send all of their things flying.

“Well, basically…” Brittany said in a somewhat shaky voice.

She wasn’t scared. None whatsoever for what she had to tell her best friend. If anything she was excited beyond belief to see how her friend would react to the new information.

“Bobby’s adopting me.”

“What?” Steph asked her flatly while stopping in her tracks, having a few people hit her in the back from trying to get quickly out of school since it was the end of the day.

“Bobby’s adopting me.” she re-iterated and mentally counted to 5 in her head for when her friend would come back to life.

5. 4. 3. 2. 1-

“Oh. My. GOSH! Are you serious?”

She laughed lightly from seeing Steph’s eyes spread wide open from processing the new information.

It was like hearing her parents car pulling up in her drive way or Kevin’s voice calling her to say good night.

She hadn’t taken the whole, “I’m moving out to New York in less than 3 weeks” talk very well, and this was practically the best thing that could have ever happened to her.

Her best friend didn’t have to move, literally, across the country from her.

“No. I’m completely joking.” Brittany said straight faced at how dumb of a question that was on her friends part but quickly said, “I’m kidding. Yes. I’m serious. Bobby is adopting me. So that means I don’t have to move!” when it looked like Steph was on the verge of tears all over again.

“I hate it when you do that! But I’m so glad you’re staying!” she squealed before pulling Brittany into a tight hug that left her gasping for breath afterwards.

“Oh my gosh! I can’t believe it. It’s like….you’re alive again or something. You’re not leaving me. This is the best…and I think I’m crying. Am I crying? Oh my gosh I’m crying!” Steph said at hyper speed as she touched her face and felt her happy tears.

“BRITTANY!”

The two girls turned to see who had called her name and they were both a little shocked at who it was.

There was Joseph Jonas, walking towards them with a plastic bag in his hand while his backpack was on his back.

Her jaw dropped slightly from seeing him walking towards her with lack of hatred in his eyes. And the fact that he called her by her name without anger laced in his voice.

It was as if he was walking in slow motion as he came towards her and she wanted nothing more than to slow it down further to memorize the way he walked. His hair. His confidence that oozed out of him. The small curve of the left side of his lip like he was about to smile at her.

But then it all went sent into normal speed when he tripped over his own two feet and practically wiped out three kids in the process of gaining his balance and Steph turned towards Brittany’s back to stifle her laughter.

“Here.” he stated monotone while thrusting the white plastic bag towards her.

“What’s this?” she asked as she grabbed it from him gingerly and tore her eyes away from his.

“You’re clothes you left at my house like 2 months ago. I started getting a jumpstart on packing for tour and I just happened to come across them.” he stated while looking above her head, careful to avoid eye contact.

It was so strange and completely tension filled for the two of them to be standing there after a week or so of not speaking to each other and letting his last words he’d spoken to her that night be his actual last until now.

Steph thought that he’d crack before the end of the day on that following Monday and Kevin thought that he’d at least crack by Wednesday, but to both of their dismays, he was still going strong. Well, until today that is.

“So how’s ever-” she started to ask him but he quickly said he had to go and that he’d see her around.

She shook her head out of understanding and a little disappointment from the small communication they just had. But of course, Steph was always there to bring in the positive side.

“At least he’s not glaring at you anymore. It’s just like a…blank stare more than a glare.”

“Thanks Steph.” Brittany said to her with slight sarcasm.

Sure, it was a good thing that Joe wasn’t glaring at her anymore and actually uttered a sentence to her, but at the same time it was worse than the glares. At least with the glares she knew not to get her hopes up that he would talk to her. Now since he just had a blank expression on his face, she would be pondering over when he’d be able to come over and talk to her again. And smile at her again. And hug her again. Maybe, kiss her again.

She watched as he walked back down the hallway from which he came and saw him look quickly over his shoulder and glance at her before Mark and Jake popped out of nowhere and tackled him in the hallway.

What I wouldn’t give to be like that with him again.

“Come on Steph. Let’s go.” she stated as she looked down at the ground and picked up her walking to get to her locker, just wanting to exit the school.

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Of all the freaking days she has to be sick! Seriously! I swear, when I go over there today, I’m gonna ring her tiny little neck!

Mrs. Meyer decided to spring a pop partners quiz on them in Economics and since Steph was always her partner, given that the last 2 weeks Joe hadn’t talked to her, she of course would be sick the day of the quiz, making Brittany most likely get less than C on it.

When it came to Econ, Steph was like a child prodigy. She liked money and numbers and all that other crap like decline and stuff that went along with it.

As she quickly glanced up to check how much time she had left to finish the 20 question quiz, she caught a certain dark brown eye that made her heart melt.

But as soon as she blinked, his head was already snapped back down to the quiz and whispering hurriedly to his partner, Whitney, what the answers possibly were.

This is ridiculous. Him not talking to me is ridiculous. Steph being sick is ridiculous. Me having to answer the last 5 questions in 2 minutes is ridiculous.

So without even looking at the question, she just circled random letters that could possible be the answer since her mind, which was never really fully concentrated on Econ, was taken over with thoughts of a certain brown eyed boy sitting two rows to the left over and one seat ahead of her.

She got up from her seat and walked to the front to put the quiz on Mrs. Meyer’s over head projector, keeping Joe in her peripheral vision so see his head slightly move to keep her in sight and she smiled slightly.

So he was looking. Two weeks ago he wasn’t talking to me. Last week Tuesday he actually spoke to me without hatred in his voice. Last week Friday I could’ve sworn I saw a small smile form on his face before the football got thrown at him by Rose in Gym class. And today he’s been following me with his eyes. That’s good right?

As she quickly thought through all their little interactions of the past two, going on three weeks, she smiled. It was improving. Slowly but surely. And it kind of reminded her of the whole homecoming fiasco. Except, there weren’t other boys and girls involved in this little tiff they were having. It was 100% between the two of them and no one else.

The bell rang, signifying the end of class and brought her out of her little dazed state and she quickly scooped up her back pack and proceeded to exit the class only to be stopped by none other than Joseph Adam Jonas himself.

Her eyes widened from seeing a gentle yet sad look in his eyes, a look that he gave her many times before they even were dating. Kind of like the look he gave her homecoming night and she couldn’t help but think that an apology or a reconciliation of some sort was on the horizon.

“Hey.” his smooth voice reached her ears and she couldn’t stop the smile from forming on her face.

“Hey.”

She could see the start of a smile forming on his face but he quickly hid it by turning his head and extending his arm out towards her to let her go first out of the doorway before he followed suite.

She clutched her physics book to her chest, feeling the corners of it digging into her from how hard she was clutching it. It was the only thing that was stopping her from just leaping onto him and wrapping him up in a hug that she so badly wanted.

He glanced at her from the side of his eye as they walked down the hallway together, an awkward silence surrounding them both while she glanced at him quickly before casting her eyes down towards the hallway.

She didn’t know it was possible for her to be more nervous since she did know him, then when she didn’t, but she was and it made her extremely giddy to be walking down the hallway with the guy she’d been craving to have any sort of attention from for the last two and a half weeks.

“So…” he drug out while turning slightly to her before returning to his straight figure while she looked up at him through her eyelashes and smiled.

“So…”

It got silent between the two again as they walked down the hallway and even though nothing was being said between them, Brittany was filled with a happiness she hadn’t felt since her and Joe were together as a couple.

That’s hard to believe that was a month ago we were a couple. Happy together as a couple. In love together as a couple.

And that mere thought of being how they used to be happy together and in the new stages of young love, instantly dropped the smile from her face from thinking back to when she told him she loved him and how harsh he gotten with her. Granted, she could kind of see where he was coming from and why he was upset, but she still didn’t fully understand why he had been that harsh to her and didn’t talk to her for nearly 2 weeks.

“Well, class is going to start in a few minutes.” she said sadly while seeing her physics room come into view and from the fact that nothing was said between them besides two one syllable words.

She heard him take in a deep breath before stopping his walking and turning to her, lightly putting a hand on her arm to get her to stop and face him.

“Listen.” he stated and then retracted his hand from her to run through his already disheveled hair. “Meet me in the parking lot after school. I really need to talk to you.”

Her mouth literally dropped open and her eyes went wide.

Sure, she wanted to talk to him and it had been driving her crazy the last 9 days that he’d follow her with his eyes and every once in a while smile at her half way before looking away, but she never thought he would just come out and say that he wanted to talk to her.

Alone.

After school.

He chuckled slightly from her reaction and that alone sent a frenzy of tingles rush through her body and a smile be brought to her open mouth.

I made him laugh. Me. I’m the one who made that smile come onto his face.

Her breath got caught in her throat though when he leaned forward after a few seconds and placed his hand gently on her arm, asking her if she was alright.

Sure, she probably looked like an idiot right now, smiling like a fool because her ex wanted to talk to her after school. But he was a different ex. He was an ex that she was in love with.

He was her first ex.

He was her first everything. First boy she really liked. First person she really let in. First boy she kissed. First boy she ever fought with. First boy she loved.

He was her first everything and she was filled with so much happiness, she literally forgot how to talk.

So all she did was smile even wider and nod her head to answer both his questions of if she was alright and to met him after school.

He sent her a dazzling smile that made her heart feel like it was about to flutter right out of her chest before he turned around and jogged towards his next class while she practically floated over to her physics room with a smile on her face.

* * * * *

Her chest tightened just at the mere thought of seeing him standing by her truck waiting to talk to her. And then thinking about talking him made her stomach twist into a tight knot while butterflies fluttered around inside of it, trying to break free of it’s twisted prison. She kept dropping her books and pens because the palms of her hands started to sweat from thinking about being alone with him in general and she kept having to wipe at the back of her neck to keep her hair from sticking to it.

She opted to stop at the bathroom to calm down a little bit, but that would only result in her seeing herself in this state, then causing her to make herself look more presentable for seeing him, which would make her more nervous than she already was and then possibly ruin whatever level of talking they were at at the moment because she would be really late.

So she just took deep breaths the whole way from her locker to her truck and she felt like a boat anchor was thrown at her chest from not seeing him standing by her truck.

Sure, she was nervous, but it was an anxious, happy nervous. Now she was plain disappointed that he wasn’t there after he made her practically have a nervous breakdown inside her head and from her growing curiosity of what he wanted to talk to her about.

As she walked disappointedly to her truck, she could feel herself cracking from the inside and she already made a little plan in her head that once she got into her truck she’d leave the parking lot of the school and pull around the block corner so no one could see her, and start crying.

That is, if she could hold out that long since her throat was already feeling raw from closing up on her and her vision was already blurring from her tears.

She reached her truck and quickly unlocked it and hopped in, throwing her stuff into the passenger seat while starting it up to get the hell away from her awaiting classmates eyes, but she let out a scream of terror when there was knocking on the glass behind her.

She turned around and saw Joe’s small smile and her heart felt like it was soaring. She quickly wiped at her eyes before unlocking the little window that was behind her and slide it open.

“Hey. Sorry to scare you. I just…I didn’t want to stand so I just hopped in the back of your truck to wait for you. But when you started up the truck I figured you didn’t see me so I had to get your attention some how.”

She nodded her head and let out a nervous laughter, repositioned herself after turning off her truck to have herself parallel to the back of the cab, on the seat with her legs stretched out and resting on her backpack.

The two sat in silence for a while. Her sitting inside her truck with her hands tucked underneath her thighs and looking down at her legs while he was up against the side of the truck, his head next to the opening and looking off into the school parking lot.

She stole a glance at him and saw his perplexed face through the window before looking down again at her lap and she couldn’t help but blush slightly from thinking that the only thing separating them right now was the seat and metal of her truck.

As the minutes ticked by, her stomach started to turn into knots again from the quietness she practically whispered, “What did you want to talk about?”

At first she didn’t think he heard her at all since he didn’t move whatsoever but take in a deep breath, and when she was about to ask him again, he turned his head and looked into her eyes for a good 2 minutes before saying, “I miss you.”

That alone brought tears to her eyes again and he reached through the tiny window to caress her face and wipe away her tears while asking her what was wrong.

“I just really miss you too.” she managed to get out before really breaking down and pulling away from his hand to wipe her tears away from her face instead of him doing it.

He waited for her to compose herself, retracting his hand through the window and placing it on his lap. As badly as he wanted to hold her right now, he knew he couldn’t. They’d fall back into the same pattern they always had been in and he really didn’t want that. He knew what he wanted from thinking it over in his head the last couple of days, he just needed to see if she would want the same thing as him. Or at least, attempt at what he wanted.

“I’m still hurt though.” he said after her crying was practically gone and all she did was nod her head in understanding from his statement.

“You said I was the one who broke you down, so how come I wasn’t the one who got to know your past?”

She waited quietly to see if he would continue but when he just sat there she took a deep breath and started playing with her hands, having her fingers twist together while trying to figure out how to word it perfectly.

He didn’t seem to mind her silence in the slightest bit, so she took a little extra time to run it through her head from how he would probably perceive it and to be able to say it correctly or at least have something to say back to him as a counter attack.

The last thing she wanted was to fight with him, but if that’s what it was going to come down to, she wasn’t going to just surrender like she did 3 weeks ago the night he told her he never wanted to talk to her again.

“I guess, to be honest with you, Steph just was there for me when I broke down completely. You stripped away everything beforehand and she was there for me when I needed someone the most. Plus, it just felt right telling her. The night that I told her, you and I hadn’t been talking since it was around homecoming-” she chanced a glance up him to see him wince slightly like he just got a paper cut or something, before she continued, “And actually it was because we weren’t talking I broke down and she just happened to be there.”

She saw a slight nod of his head from her peripheral vision and she looked up the whole way to look at him fully.

“I’m sorry about that. Really. And I’m sorry about what I said to you 3 weeks ago. That was really wrong of me. And I-”

“Joe, it wa-”

He looked over at her while putting his hand through the little window to cover her mouth.

“Let me finish ok. Then you can talk. I just have to get all of this off my chest.”

She nodded her head, having his hand make slight contact with her lips and making them burn slightly from just his touch that she’d been craving for the last 3 weeks before he retracted it again through the window and put it into his lap.

“I shouldn’t have said what I said to you when you told me you loved me. I know how it feels.”

That sentence alone sent a jab to her heart from knowing what he meant by that.

When he told her he loved her, she broke up with him and now it was like a stab to the heart to have to remember that night all over again when her heart was already going through enough turmoil at the moment from being broken, to happy to sad to….whatever it was now.

Just there. That’s basically what it was right now. It was so numb from all the emotions she’d felt with in the last 10 minutes, and 3 weeks, it couldn’t handle anymore.

“And I’m sorry that I said I never wanted to talk to you again and blew up at you after you told me everything. You had a rough night that night before you even saw me since you were practically killed and I’m sure it didn’t make it any better by me yelling and walking away from you. I know, it was stupid and irrational of me, but I was so upset and hurt at that point in time, I just couldn’t be around you. And trust me, after I said that I never wanted to talk to you or see you again, it killed me and I wanted to take it back. That’s why I waited to leave because it hit me full force of what I said to you after it already left my mouth. But I knew I couldn’t just be like, “Brittany, wait I didn’t mean it.” because the damage was already done within those mere seconds after I said it. And I wanted to talk to you on Monday, and Tuesday and every day for the last 3 weeks, but I didn’t know how.”

He took a pause and took in a deep breath while looking down at his hands again before back up into her eyes and it was her turn to reach through the window and caress his face while wiping away at his few tears.

“It was just that, every time I saw you, I felt all the pain from the lies and it just made me mad all over again. That’s why I didn’t talk to you for that first week. The pain was too fresh. But when I found your clothes, I couldn’t help but break down. That’s when I started to really miss you and I knew that I had to talk to you again. But when I was standing there in front of you, feeling nothing but sadness, I had to leave. But at least the pain was gone. Then the sadness started going away only to be replaced with me missing you. I had to talk to you again and finally, I am.” he finished while giving her a small smile which she returned quickly before retracting her hand and placing it in her lap while he quickly wiped at his face with his jacket sleeve.

That basically explained everything for her and she honestly had no idea what to say after that. She told him the reason why she didn’t tell him, and he seemed to have taken it well and understood her. So what else was there left to discuss?

Thinking about that for the next couple minutes, she came to the decision that there wasn’t anything left to discuss, at least not on her end and she looked up at him with somewhat confused eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he instantly asked her from seeing the confusion on her face and she let a small giggle escape her from how well he could read her.

It still amazed her how well he knew her after only knowing her for a 3 months, almost 4 now.

“Nothing.” she stated while she looked off towards the now abandoned parking lot. “I just, I was trying to think if there was anything else left to discuss between us, and I can’t think of anything.”

She turned to look at him then and asked him if there was anything else he wanted to talk about.

“Actually, yeah. There is something else I want to talk about.”

She looked at him expectantly for a few minutes while he looked down at his lap and twisted his hands together and she couldn’t believe how adorable he was just then. It was like he was nervous to talk about whatever it was that he had left on his mind.

“Joe, you can tell me. You know that.” she said with a light laugh as she reached through the window and shoved his shoulder playfully before bringing her arm back into the truck and playing with the bottom of her school uniform jacket.

“I know. And….what I wanted to talk to you about is…” he trailed off, looked down at his lap again, take in a big deep breath and let it out slowly before finishing his sentence.

“About us.”

“What about us?” she asked somewhat surprised that he even called them as a couple again. Us, was normally a word that you use when your in a relationship with someone. Even a friendship and even though she wanted some sort of relationship with him, she couldn’t really think of what his “Us” meant since they hadn’t talked to each other for 2 and a half weeks.

“Well, I’ve done some thinking, and well…” he trialed off, his fingers twisting around each others before he quickly said, “Well you go first. What do you want?”

What do I want?

She sat there for a few seconds. His last sentence running through her head and she couldn’t believe how many things jumped into her head after she asked herself for the 4th time.

“What do I want?” she asked rhetorically with a dry laucgh, even though he nodded his head. “I want my family back. I want to be able to wake up and say ‘Good Morning Mom, Dad. Hope you have a great day at work.’ I want to be able to come home and give my dad a huge hug and kiss go over to my mom and start babbling about how my day at school was and ask her if we could stop at a store to get whatever it is that I need to finish a project. I want the last 9 years of my life back. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve been asked what I want Joe?” she asked, her tears falling down her face and yet she didn’t care this time to wipe them away.

He shook his head while looking down at his hands really quickly before snapping his head back up to look at her and see her shaking from crying so hard and yet there wasn’t one noise at all from her.

He quickly jumped out of the back of the truck and opened up her door and pulled her into him while she cried into his shoulder, stroking her hair and holding her while rocking back and forth somewhat to calm her down.

For a good 5 minutes she cried while he stood there silently rocking her somewhat and he pulled away from her while she wiped at her face and sniffled somewhat, her voice cracking a little bit while she talked.

“I don’t know what I want anymore Joe. If you gave me a little more time, like a week or something, I could tell you. It’s been so long since I had the option to do something that I wanted to do without worrying, that I don’t even know how to do what I want. Ask for what I want. It’s just become pointless over the years because no matter how many times I’ve asked why this happened to me and why my parents died, no one can give me an answer. And the only thing I want is my life back, but that’s never going to happen. So whatever you want is fine with me. It’s what I’ve been doing my whole life, just agreeing and going along with what everyone else wants so I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to handle whatever you want.”

He stood there and nodded his head in understanding and was about to rebut what she said that he’d do whatever she really wanted, but he didn’t want to send her into tears again, so he opted to tell her what he originally was going to say before he asked her what she wanted.

“I think, well, I know, that we need to start over. No more lies. No more secrets.”

She nodded her head in agreement with him and scooted over to be in the middle of her bench seat while he got in next to her and shut he door.

“Britt, I love you. I fell in love with you a while ago despite how soon it was for me to have those feelings, and I still do. But I think it would be better if we stay friends for a while.”

She sat there, listening to him talk about what he wanted and as badly as she didn’t want to agree with him, she knew he was right.

They needed to start over, completely. No lies. No secrets. No anything but the two of them.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that nothing won’t happen down the road for us, but for now, I think it would be best if we stayed friends. And I know that you couldn’t tell me the truth, but it still hurts a little bit that I didn’t know until 2 and half weeks ago.”

She shook her head while taking a deep breath before saying that she completely understood where he was coming from and that if it was the other way around, she would be upset having been lied to for 3 almost 4 months.

He smiled sweetly at her and pulled her into a side hug, gave her a kiss on the top of her head and let her go.

“I’m glad we figured this all out.”

And just like that, Kevin pulled into the school parking lot as if on cue.

“Your ride’s here.” she stated and nodded her head towards the entrance of the school where Kevin was currently making his way to and putting the vehicle in park. “And I’m glad we figured everything out too.”

“Good. Well, I better get going. See you tomorrow. Call me if you want to talk. Ok?” he asked as he got out of her truck, leaving the door open as he grabbed his backpack from the back and then stood next to her open door.

She nodded her head, gave him a smile and said, “Of course. See you tomorrow.”

He gave her a curt nod before shutting her door and walking across the parking lot while she started her truck up, but a few seconds later he was back by her window while making a small gesture with his hand to have her roll down her window.

“Before I forget..” he started while she laughed at him slightly. “My mom invited you over to our house for dinner if things between us were worked out. Bobby is invited as well.”

She nodded her head as she took in the information and said she’d talk to Bobby about it.

“Cool.” he smiled and walked away again, smile still on his face as she pulled out of her parking space but he again made his way back towards her side of the vehicle as she laughed at him again.

“And it’s not just my mom asking you over. It’s Frankie and Kevin and Nick and my dad and-”

“So basically it’s your whole family?” she laughed out.

“Yes.” he smiled widely at her. “But most importantly, it’s me. I’d really like it if you and Bobby could make it tomorrow night.”

Her heart soared from hearing that one statement from him and she could feel her eyes start to sting from the fresh, happy tears that were fighting its way to break free from her eyes.

“We’ll be there. 5 o’clock right?” she asked with a head nod and hard swallow to hold off her happy tears.

“Yep.” he said as his smile grew even more wider from her answer. “See you Britt.”

And with that, he actually made it across the parking lot and into Kevin’s car without having to stop one more time, a huge smile on his face.

A smile was solidly smacked on her face from how everything played out between them and it didn’t leave her face once the whole ride home from school or for the rest of the day for that matter.

Sure, her and Joe weren’t together at the moment, but they were starting over. They were going to be friends first and see how things went when he left for tour in a few weeks. Then, who knew. Anything is possible in the future, and their future was looking bright right now with how they left things.

Life can’t get any better.

I have Bobby who’s my family starting two days from now. I have Steph who’s my best friend. And I have Joe, who’s….well, Joe. They all saved me in different ways and I couldn’t be more thankful.

Yep, I couldn’t ask for anything else.[i/]