Alone

Part Fifteen

“No. No, that’s not possible. You’re brothers. Brothers, not lovers.” Denise knew she was rambling but she couldn’t stop. Of all the things she’d ever expected to hear coming from one of her son’s, this was not one of them.

“Yes, mom, we are. You can either accept it, accept us or leave. It doesn’t matter to me one way or the other, but for Nick’s sake, just stop before you say something you might regret.” Kevin found himself saying.

“What have you done to him?” Denise asked her eldest son, tears in her eyes.

“I loved him, mom. Loved him like he deserved to be loved. Its not something I planned or ever expected but I do. I love Nick more than a normal brother should. But then again, we’ve never been normal have we?” Kevin’s voice was low, strained.

Nick hugged Kevin tighter with each word. True, they had been together for three months and brothers their whole lives, but he’d never heard Kevin speak about him like he was right now. He didn’t think he’d ever loved Kevin more than he did this very minute.

“Kev, you don’t have to defend me. I can take care of myself.” Nick spoke.

“I know baby J, but I want, no I need them to know. I’m tired of lying or hiding how I feel. I don’t care if they accept me, but I don’t want you to lose your parents.”

“I already lost them, baby. The day they kicked you out. You’re mine and I love you. You’re all I need. Well, Joe and Frankie too, but in totally different ways.” Nick said, trying to lighten the mood.

Nick and Kevin both turned when they heard Joe snicker.

“Oh, don’t mind me. Just had something in my throat. I’m good. Go about your business.” Joe was trying his hardest not to laugh.

Kevin rolled his eyes. For the tiniest of seconds, he’d almost forgotten their parents were even around. It was a punch in the gut that brought Kevin back to reality.

It happened before Nick or anyone realized what was happening. Kevin Sr. pulling away from his wife, moving in the boys direction. Pulling back, he punched, with all the force he could muster, his oldest son straight in the stomach. It caught Kevin so off guard that he stumbled back, out of Nick’s grasp and fell, hitting his head on the coffee table as he went. Everyone is the room flinched when they heard his head hit. Nick thought it was the loudest crack he’d ever heard.

“KEVIN!” Nick screamed, dropping down to where Kevin now laid. “Baby, are you ok? Answer me, Kev.”

Silence.

“This isn’t funny. Baby, open your eyes and look at me.” Nick was hysterical. Kevin wasn’t answering his pleas.

With wide eyes, Joe and Frankie rushed to Kevin’s side.

“Kev, come on man. Open your eyes. You’re freaking Nick out here, dude.” Joe spoke, his voice raised.

Watching Joe and Nick freaking out over Kevin scared Frankie. He had never seen them as scared as they looked right now, not even when Nick had been in the hospital.

Looking away from his brothers, Frankie turned to his parents. He knew he was still young, but being young didn’t mean he couldn’t speak his mind. Whether they wanted to hear what he had to say or not, Frankie was going to make sure he was heard.

“Leave. Both of you leave right now. You’ve done enough damage already. Leave us to take care of Kevin. We don’t need you here and we sure as hell don’t want you here.” Frankie spat out, shocking everyone in the room.

“Frankie, what have I told you about using that kind of language?” It was Kevin’s voice that spoke up. Turning around, Frankie smirked.

“Sorry, Kev. It won’t happen again.” Frankie spoke, before turning and throwing himself into Kevin’s arms. His older brother held him, hugging tight.

Moving back, Frankie let Nick in.

“Oh, God, Kev. You scared the shit outta me.” Nick whispered in Kevin’s ear.

Wrapping his arms around Nick, Kevin pulled him into his lap, both still in the floor.

“I’m sorry, babe. I think I just got the wind knocked outta me. And one hell of a headache to go with it.” He said, reaching back and rubbing his now sore head.

“Good job man, scare the crap outta us why don’t ya?” Joe smirked.

“Bite me, Joseph.” Kevin threw back, smiling just a little.

“How can you all act as if there’s nothing wrong with that? Its sick and disgusting and here you are, making jokes!” Their father yelled, startling them all.

Joe turned to glare at his father.

“Its still Kevin and Nick. They’re the same people they always were. I love them, no matter what. Its what being family means.”

“But Joseph…”

Joe interrupted his mother.

“No. No, I don’t want to hear it. Just get out. We don’t need you here. We don’t want you here. But I swear to God, if this leaks to the press, you will both be sorrier than you’ve ever been.” The look in Joe’s eyes was murderous.

“We would never do that!” His mother exclaimed. Her husband turned to face her, shock in his eyes.

“We wouldn’t? Why the hell not? Their fans have a right to know who the “Jonas Brothers” really are!” Paul spat.

“Paul, these are still our boys.” Denise spoke, shocking all four of her sons along with her husband.

“Wait. Just wait a damn minute here, Denise. What’s changed since we walked into this house? You were hell bent on getting Nick and Frankie out of here and away from their ‘queer’ brother.”

Kevin flinched.

“And now, now you’re what? Ok with it?”

“No, no, I’m not ok, but Paul…look at them. Look at Kevin and Nick. I don’t know how I ever missed it. Its there. In their eyes when they look at each other. So no, I don’t understand it. But these are my babies, Paul. Our boys.” She was openly crying now.

“Mom…” Kevin spoke softly. After everything that had happened tonight, it was almost as if his mother was, quite possibly changing her mind about him. It made no sense whatsoever.

Stepping up to Kevin, Denise reached a hand out and placed it gently on his cheek, on the bruise she had caused.

“I know I don’t deserve it and I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see me again, but I am so sorry for how I’ve treated you. Nick was right. No matter what, you are still my son. I think I lost sight of that. It was just such a shock, finding out you were, well gay.

“You have to understand. I was raised in church my whole life. I was taught that being a homosexual was a sin and one would burn in hell for such a transgression. It was how I raised you boys, so when you told your father and I that you were gay, I blamed myself. That’s why I wanted you gone. All I could see was my failure.

“But now, seeing you here. Seeing how well you’ve provided for yourself and your brothers, I can see I was wrong. You’re still that little boy who loved nothing more than playing Cowboys and Indian’s with Joe. You are still my son. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say it enough, but I’m sorry.”

Kevin was speechless.

“I don’t want you to say anything right now. I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I do have something for you. For all of you really.”

Moving across the room, Denise reached down for the manila envelope that lay on the floor. Moving back towards Kevin, she handed it to him.

“These are the custody papers for Frankie. Your father and I have already signed everything. All it needs is your signature and he will officially be yours. Your son by law.”

Standing behind Kevin, Denise saw that Frankie had tears running down his face.

“Franklin, I am more sorry than you’ll ever know. But you’ll be better off here with your brothers. I see that now. They’ll take care of you just as much as you’ll take care of them. Just promise you’ll be good for them. Respect them, even when you don’t agree with what they are telling you.”

Frankie moved forward and hugged his mother.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

Stepping back, Denise turned to face Joe.

“I know we’ve had out fare share of words over the years, Joe, but I never, not one time, stopped loving you. You’ve made me so proud over the years. But you’re all grown up now. Defending yourself and your brothers like its your life’s mission. I admire that in you. You’re an amazing young man. I am sorry for everything. You deserve better. Being here, with Kevin and your brothers, its where you belong. I do love you, my little Joseph.”

Before she could react, she found herself with an arm full of Joe. She hugged him tight, as if this might be the last hug she and her son ever shared.

“I do love you, mama.” Joe spoke softly.

“I know, baby. I know.” His mother whispered back.

Taking a step back from Joe, Denise turned to face Nick.

Before she could even open her mouth to speak, Nick’s voice broke through first.

“You hurt me, mom. You hurt Kevin. Hell, you hurt all of us. All we have ever done is try to please you and daddy. Its all we ever wanted, to make you both proud.”

Denise interrupted.

“But you did. All of you did. So many times. I’m not perfect, Nick and neither is your father. We’ve made mistakes, so many with you boys. I finally see that now.”

“And so what now? You want my forgiveness? Look at what you and dad did to Kevin? He’s not just my brother, damn it, he’s my lover! You hurt him and for that, it is very likely that I will never forgive you. Not that either of your deserve it to begin with. After everything we did, the endless hours of practice, touring, promoting, everything…this is how you repay us. I have all that I need here. My brothers and my lover. I don’t need anyone else in my life.” Nick knew how he sounded but he didn’t care. After everything, it was finally time that they got what they deserved.

“But Nick…” Kevin started.

Nick turned at hearing Kevin’s voice.

“No. I don’t want to hear it. Its fine if you and Joe and Frankie want to forgive them but I don’t. Not after this. Not after how they’ve hurt you. Damn it, Kev, don’t you get it? You are all I need. My life is here, with you. And Joe and Frankie. I don’t want them in my life anymore. Its not just in these past few months that I’m talking about either. Its everything they’ve put us through. The pressure, so much of it. Even when I was sick. I’m done. I’m tired Kev. I just want to rest. That’s all.” Nick kind of figured he might be rambling a little bit but again, he didn’t care.

“Oh baby.” Kevin whispered pulling Nick close. “If that’s what you want then.”

“For now, yeah it is. I just want all of us to be left alone.” Nick spoke quietly.

Kevin turned to face his parents. His mother who was openly crying and his father who had yet to speak a word.

“You heard him. Its time for you both to leave. If and I mean if, we decide we want anything to do with you again, we will be in contact. For now, if anyone asks, I moved out and seeing as we’re on a long vacation Joe, Nick and Frankie came to stay with me. There’s really no need to go into detail, is there?” Kevin spoke evenly.

Still not speaking, their father nodded his head in acknowledgement, a hardened look on his face. Looking at his sons once more, he turned and walked out the front door.

Looking back around to his mother, Kevin almost felt sorry for her. Almost but not quite.

“I understand. Just promise you’ll take care of each other.”

“We will.” Joe spoke up.

Taking one last look around the room at her sons, Denise Jonas turned and walked away.

Hearing the front door close, Frankie ran towards it. Seconds later he was walking back into the living room, a sad smile on his face.

“Locked the door.” He stated. It was only a few seconds later that they heard the sound of a car leaving the driveway.

Pulling back from Kevin, Nick looked up at him. Sighing, he moved him back til he was sitting on the couch.

“You sit. I’m gonna go see if there’s a first aid kit upstairs. Don’t want that lip to get infected.” Nick said, smiling.

Leaning back, Kevin closed his eyes. It was the feeling of being watched that caused him to open his eyes only seconds after he’d closed them.

It was Frankie and he was grinning.

“What is it, Frank?” Kevin asked.

“Does this mean I have to call you ‘daddy’ now?”

Kevin’s mouth fell open. Joe started laughing.

“Or is Nick the only one who gets to call you that?” This time Frankie smirked at his older brother.

Joe’s laughter stopped.

“Oh, God, Frankie! That’s gross!” Joe groaned. “And now I’m picturing it. I hate you, Frankie.” Joe dropped down onto the couch beside Kevin, pouting.

Frankie was still laughing when Nick walked back into the room.

“What’d I miss?” He asked.

“Nothing!” Joe practically yelled. Kevin was trying not to laugh at Joe’s obvious discomfort. Frankie was still smiling.

“Not much. I just asked if I had to call Kevin ‘daddy’ now.”

Nick started laughing.

“Oh that’s good, Frank.” Nick was still laughing as he sat down beside of Kevin. Opening the small first aid kit he pulled out what he’d need to clean Kevin’s busted lip.

“Frankie, how about you go and grab me that ice pack out of the freezer. And a diet coke too. I need some caffeine.”

Nick turned back to Kevin as Frankie walked away. Looking over at Joe he noticed that something was obviously wrong.

“Something the matter, Joe?” He asked.

“Na. Just got this imagine in my head I can’t get rid of. No biggie.”

“Okay.” Nick shrugged it off.

Facing Kevin once more, Nick reached up and dabbed his busted lip with an alcohol socked cotton ball. He smiled when Kevin flinched, then groaned.

“Oh, shh. Its just a little sting. You’ve been through worse.”

“You wouldn’t happen to have anything in there for a headache, would you?” Kevin asked.

“As the matter of fact, I do. I figured your head must still be pounding.”

Just as Nick was about to yell for Frankie he came bouncing back into the room, an ice pack, one diet coke, two regular cokes and a fruit juice in his arms.

“I thought you all might be thirsty. I know I am.”

“Dude, Frankie you are the man.” Joe spoke as he grabbed the juice from Frankie’s outstretched hand.

“Yeah, I know.”

All four brothers sat in silence for the next half an hour. Nick still tending to Kevin’s bruised face. He held the ice pack to Kevin’s cheek, where a good sized bruise had formed. It had gotten so quiet after a while that Nick was shocked to see that Joe and Frankie had fallen asleep. Frankie almost completely in Joe’s lap.

Just as he was about to speak and wake them up Kevin stopped him.

“No, let them sleep. I’d rather us all sleep together tonight. I don’t really want either of them out of my sight right now.” Nick smiled at Kevin.

“That’s sweet, Kev. But if we all sleep on the couch our backs will be killing us in the morning. How about we just let them sleep in our room?” Nick suggested.

“If that’s what you want, then ok. Sounds good to me. Thank God we’ve got a huge bed.” This time Kevin smiled.

Standing up Nick held his hand out to Kevin.

“You get Joe and I’ll get Frankie.” Nick spoke.

“Oh you would, wouldn’t you? Even when I’m in pain you still leave me to deal with Joe.” Kevin winked at Nick as he spoke.

“Joe, wake up. Come on, man. You haven’t been asleep long enough to be that out of it.”

Kevin shook his shoulders as he spoke. Nick had already pulled Frankie from Joe’s lap and was making their way up the stairs.

“Hurry up, Kev. I’m tired.” Kevin heard Nick’s voice.

Instead of trying to wake Joe this time, Kevin reached down and grabbed his arms. He pulled him straight up from where he was sitting. Luckily this woke Joe.

“Dude, what the hell?” Joe spoke, sleep lacing his voice.

“We can’t sleep down here all night. Nick says it’ll kill our backs. So for tonight you and Frank are sleeping with me and Nick. Now come on. They’re already upstairs. And believe me man, Nick will hog the blanket all to himself if we don’t hurry.”

Joe smiled.

“Yeah, I know.” He said.

Throwing his arm around Joe’s shoulder they made their way up the stairs towards Kevin and Nick’s room.

Once there they threw themselves down onto the bed with the two youngest Jonas Brothers.

Lying down beside of Nick, Kevin pulled him close. Burying his face in Nick’s curls, Kevin breathed deep.

“I love you, baby J.” He spoke softly.

Turning around, Nick opened his eyes and smiled as Kevin came into view.

“After everything we’ve been through tonight you still love me?” Nick teased.

“Nothing could ever stop me from loving you. Not our parents, not anything.” Kevin answered back.

Smiling once more, Nick wrapped his arms around Kevin’s waist. Reaching up Nick pulled Kevin’s head down and smashed their lips together.

“I love you too, Kevin. More than anything.” He replied sleepily, pulling away.

“For the love of God guys, not while Frank and I are in bed with you.” Joe’s voice broke through the silence.

“Sorry Joe.” Both Kevin and Nick replied, trying as they might to hold back their laughter.

Laying his head down on his lover’s shoulder, Nick sighed. He was content, happy here with Kevin and his brothers. Looking at Kevin once more, he saw a smile on his face.

If he would have asked why Kevin was smiling the answer would have been simple.

Because he wasn’t alone anymore.