Secrets Are Hard To Keep

“I have to get to her.” I told Kevin who still had his arm around me. I stood up with pure determination and headed into the hall.

“We’re coming with you.” Joe told me. I didn’t answer, I just grabbed my coat and pulled on the closest pair of shoes. “Kevin, you drive.”

“Where?” Kevin asked and I pulled open the door.

“The hospital.” I mumbled and strode to the car. I jerked open the passengers seat and climbed in, Joe didn’t argue with my and he just got into the back. Smart move.

All the way there all I could think of was if she was going to be alive or not. Just the thought of her not being here made me shiver. Not touching her, not seeing her, not even hearing her would be like a prison sentence. Only now did I realise how much I actually needed her to be in my life.

“Drive faster.” I demanded in a low voice, Kevin obliged and revved the engine. It didn’t settle me knowing we were going there faster because I wasn’t with her yet. I wondered if David knew, he wasn’t an easy man to reach. “Joe, ring the Beckham’s house. It’s under Julia home. Tell David if he doesn’t already know.” I tossed my phone back to Joe who did as I told him to.

I noticed the exit for the hospital coming up, numerous helicopters were in the air and traffic was moving slowly but we turned off before we got grid locked. Kevin dropped me off at the door as he went to go and park, Joe was still on the phone mumbling in the back seat. It alarmed me that some press were in the bushes so I kept a straight face and strolled inside.

The woman at the desk looked up and put down her pen. “Can I help you?”

“My… girlfriend was involved in that crash on 101 is she in here yet?” I asked politely trying to keep calm, but it seemed she could see through my mask.

“What’s her name?” She asked and clicked away on her mouse.

“Julia Beckham.” I told her in a hushed tone, she smiled at me and then glanced back to her screen.

“I’m sorry we can’t say anything until we’ve spoken to a family member.” She did seemed genuinely sorry, I ran my hand through my hair and let out a frustrated sigh. I sat down on one of the chairs across the room and put my head into my hands.

“Nick!” Kevin called, I lifted up my head and watched him as he and Joe sat either side of me. “David is on his way.” Just then I heard an ambulance siren go off outside. I ran back through the doors and stared at the gap between the emergency doors and the back of the ambulance. So quickly that if I’d blinked I would have missed it, a bed flew past, I caught a glimpse of the persons wrist. Dangling from it was a silver bracelet, from it hung a wolf and a heart. Her Twilight bracelet.

“Nick!” I twisted my head sharply as saw David running towards me. He put his hands on my shoulders and led me into the hospital again. Joe and Kevin stood up and stayed at their seats, David went up to the desk and begun frantically slurring out his words in a anxious frenzy.

Joe put an arm around my shoulder as we all watched David. He tapped his hand on the desk and walked over. “Follow me.” He told me. We all followed him down many corridors, I noticed he was following the signs to the Intensive care unit. When he pushed through a door we were stopped by a nurse dressed in a dark blue shirt and black trousers.

“Beckham?” She asked professionally, she looked like she wanted to scream though. “Who are you three?”

“I’m her boyfriend, these are my brothers.” I told her in a shaky voice. She took a long pause and looked at us. She sighed then nodded.

“Julia is being seen to at the moment, she has to have X-rays and a full body scan. The waiting room is through there. A doctor will see you once she’s been examined.”

We all strode into the waiting room, it was empty. The walls were painted a light blue and the chairs were placed against the walls. A large table sat in the middle with magazines on as if anyone could read when their loved one was in intensive care. David was talking on his phone, explaining things. I guessed it was to Victoria as the person on the other end of the line wasn’t shy about keeping her voice down.

The clock ticked on. Seconds, minutes, hours. Every tick added to the tension in the air, added to the pain pulsing through my veins, the anxiety of not knowing the outcome. No Doctor came to see us, but we didn’t complain. Those Doctors would be helping her, we’d prefer that than to know what was going on.

“Beckham family?” We all lifted out heads from the floor for the first time since we entered the room. “I’m Doctor Adams, I’ve been taking care of Julia I’m sorry for the delay. In the crash Julia obtained many injuries. She has several cuts across her face, one of which didn’t need stitches but we have steristrips on that above her eye. And she has a long cut across the left side of her body here,” he motioned with his finger where the cut was, “when the glass shattered a shard cut her knee all the way down to her knee cap it was almost broken but we have stitched that up as well. Her left ankle is swollen and her arms are also covered in scrapes.” He took a paused, I’d forgotten most the things he had said, none of it made sense, I just wanted to see her. “The major problem we had was her stomach, in the crash she was thrown around a lot and he stomach is bruised but thankfully there is no internal bleeding.”

“Can we see her?” Finally David spoke out.

The Doctor smiled, “Of course, she’s sleeping at the moment. She needs her rest so please try not to wake her. You ready?”

I nodded and David was behind him in an instance. Joe, Kevin and I followed behind then as we walked through the hospital corridors, the doctor pushed open a door to a room and we all walked inside. “Julia.” I whispered.

Her face was covered in bright pink cuts and above her left eye was the main cut the Doctor told us about, she had tubes coming out of her nose too and a drip attached to her arm. Her neck was fine but her arms were red and the left arm had a bandage wrapped around the joint. Her head was resting deep in the plum pillow as she slept sounding the beeping of the heart monitor showing a regular beat in her heart.

She looked broke, but not broken. Definitely not broken.

None of us spoke, David was sat beside her bed and the three of us claimed the seats by the window. Kevin kept a comforting hand on my shoulder which never let my thoughts drift far for I would notice it and snap back into reality. David looked crushed, his phone rang in his pocket and he quickly answered knowing no phones were allowed.

I didn’t listen to what he said, all my attention was on her fragile body. I just wanted to hold her. “I’ll be sleeping here with her tonight.” David announced, that was the first time I looked away from her. “I’ll call you if anything changes during the night, you all look shattered and I’m sure your parents will want you back as it’s late.”

He had a point. “Thanks a lot David.” Kevin stood up, his hand guiding me up too. I hesitantly walked over to her bedside, I knew everyone was watching me but it didn’t matter. Gently, I leaned down and pressed my lips so softly to her forehead. When I stood back upright David gave me a nod and I knew I wasn’t dead, it didn’t matter. Nothing did. Nothing but her.

The drive back home was quiet, no one knew what to say. As soon as we got in I went up to my bedroom and left the explaining to Kevin and Joe. I pulled off my shirt and trousers then kicked off my shoes letting them bounce off the wall and land in separate places. I crawled under my covers with my phone in my hand and let the tears fall. The darkness and tiredness finally got the better of me and I drifted off into a restless sleep.

I was up early the next morning, a simple outfit of jeans and a hoodie sufficed for today. I called for a cab and wrote everyone a note, once the cab came I rushed outside and directed him where to go. When we arrived I tossed money at him and rushed out. I followed the corridors I went through yesterday. A few nurses greeted me and smiled at me, I did my best to smile back but no words came out. When I arrived at the room, I heard voices, not one but two. I knocked on the door then opened it carefully.

The sight shocked me. There she was, propped up in her bed with her Dad on a bed beside her. She was awake. “Nick!” She exclaimed with her recognisable grin on her face, her eyes shining.

“You’re awake.” I stated, the reason for my being in front of me and that’s the best I could come up with.

“Come hither!” She demanded and of course I obeyed, she opened her arms, “Hug?”

“A gentle one.” I warned her. I was careful not to touch too much of her, she still looked very fragile to me. I kissed her forehead like I did last night. “Why didn’t you call me?” I asked David.

“She’s only been awake half an hour.” He told me and she nodded.

“Oh.” Well still, I would have liked to have known and been able to prepare myself.

I gazed at her for a while, amazed at her every being. Suddenly everything seemed to have a meaning now. She was my point of reason, she was a part of me now and there’s nothing that could change it. And if something did want to change it, I’d fight them till death.