Secrets Are Hard To Keep

I’d never thought that much about love. Falling in love was never an option to me, too risky. But there’s a reason they call it ‘falling’ because once you fall you’re stuck, there’s no falling back up and out. You have to keep falling until you hit the bottom, that being the end of the relationship. The one part of love everyone feared was the bottom. And now I had no choice, I was falling.

Nick had been working hard on his TV show, we had both been recording for our collaboration song ‘On the line’ and I had been busying getting ready to leave for Canada to surprise a fan with their tickets. He called me and decided enough was enough and we were going to dinner tonight despite obligations.

I was dressed in a vintage dress, it was cover in golden sequins and had a silver metallic horizontal stripe across my hip line. I wore a pair of silver heels, thankful I could walk properly now, with it and carried a small silver purse with me. My hair was curled and pinned back with bits hanging at the side and my fringe pinned to the side also. I had black eye make up on to tone down the gold and silver.

“You look pretty.” My Dad complimented as he stopped in my doorway on his passing.

“Thanks.” I answered and gave him a smile, “Is Nick here yet?” I questioned, eager to get going.

“Yeah, he’s been here a while.” My Dad smirked. I think all the colour drained from my face as I rushed around my room grabbing everything and shoving it in my bag.

When I arrived downstairs he was sat on the sofa talking to me Mum, “Ready to go?” I piped up, he stood up and turned around. He winked at me as he walked over, his little way of complimenting me without getting evils from my parents.

He laced his fingers with mine, “Bye Victoria.” He said politely as I dragged him away. “You look stunning by the way, better than actually.”

I flushed as he opened the door for me, I stepped outside and held out my hand for him. He held it tightly in his own as we walked over to his Mustang, which I loved, he opened my car door for me and I smiled at him as I climbed in. He soon joined me in the car and started it up.

“So where are we going?” I asked him, he had kept this a secret from me. He didn’t answer me for a while, he just turned on the radio and smiled to himself. He kept a hold of my hand in-between the seats only letting go to change gear. As we drove out onto the main roads I could tell he was heading for West Hollywood.

“Il Sole.” His voice startled me, he put a twist on the word saying it in a French accent. “That’s the name of the restaurant.”

I’d heard of it before, it was a very romantic place. My parents had been there before so I was a little bit impressed with his choice. I was worried about press because I could see a car behind us that had been following us for a while so I guessed it was a paparazzi.

Nick and I sat in a comfortable silence as we drove down Sunset, he pulled up outside of the restaurant and got out tossing the keys to the valet. He once again opened my door and held out his hand, I took it and he helped me out of the car. The valet drove it away and we walked quickly inside before the press could even get out of their cars.

He held my hand as he walked up to the podium. I looked around the lavish restaurant. All the tables had a white table cloth on and black leather chairs under them, it wasn’t very full at the moment but as we walked through we did turn a few heads. We were sat pretty out of the way with only one old couple already eating.

Nick helped me into my seat like a proper gentleman then went and sat opposite me, I put my napkin on my lap and folded my arms on the table. “This place is amazing.” Nick smiled at me and I couldn’t help but smile back, it was contagious.

“You’re amazing.” I blushed and luckily a waitress interrupted us.

“Can I get you some drinks?” She asked holding up a pad and paper.

“Water please.” I said politely and she scribbled it down then turned to Nick.

He thought for a short moment, “Coke please.” She smiled at us then walked away.

“Tell me some more about your family.” I smiled at Nick who took a deep breath.

“My grandparents on my Dad’s side live in Dallas and my other set grandparents live in Jersey. I have an Auntie from my Dad’s side and an Uncle from my Mums. I only have five cousins and they’re all pretty nice--”

“Here are your drinks.” The waitress announced, I looked down to avoid scowling at her but she swiftly walked away.

“What was your favourite child toy?” I asked him picking up my glass and taking a drink, my fingers were wet from the cold condensation on the outside of the glass.

He tapped his chin, “I had this doll that you pressed buttons and it would talk to you but Joe broke it.” I pouted, trust Joe to break Nick’s toys. He paused for a second and stared at the table, “We should probably look at the menus.”

Oh yeah. I picked up a menu and spotted something I liked immediately. Mushroom Tagliatelle with a cream sauce, I drank more of my water whilst Nick chose his meal. The waitress came over and took our orders then left quickly, I noticed the restaurant was getting full but it was all middle aged people with a few younger couples, I couldn’t help but look around.

“Calm down.” Nick chuckled, my heart race increased at the very sound. “So tell me more about what you’re doing in Canada tomorrow.”

“I’m going on a jet with the MTV crew for a two day trip to Canada to surprise a fan called Bailey with tickets to the Twilight premiere, her husband is going to make sure she’s inside. I think there is going to be a live feed on me all the time, except night time but cameras are going to be on from 9 in the morning til 9 at night. It’s going to be fun.”

“I’ll still miss you even if I’m watching you.” I smiled softly at him and he just stared back with a solemn look radiating in his eyes.

TIME LAPSE

When Nick and I left the restaurant reporters were being kept back on the opposite side of the street so I kept my head down and climbed into the car quickly.

The meal was amazing, getting to know Nick even more was better. On the way home his face was lit by the lights from the radio, buttons and speed dials. It made him seem more relaxed in the glow and security of the car.

“Do people ever walk in L.A?” I asked him, noticing the long lines of cars and lack of people on the streets. “Or bike?”

He chuckled, “You’re very observant.” He flashed a grin at my then snapped his eyes back to the road. “It’s just easier to drive, L.A is bigger than you think.”

“I want to go to the beach.” I told him gazing out at the dark night sky. “Can we go when I get back?”

He nodded, “Yes.”

And then I started to imagine it, Nick and I laying in the sun together, relaxing in peace. The sun hitting his body making him look even more glorious to me. as I started out the window my day dream took off. We’d play in the water and finally be alone. It would be like my own personal heaven on earth.

I hadn’t noticed the car had stopped until Nick touched my leg. I turned to face him, his expression matching mine, sadness. This would be the last time we would see each other for two whole days, the longest we’d be apart. I stepped out of the car and he followed, we met up at the front of it and he enveloped me in a tight hug.

I inhaled his scent one more time before putting a small space between us. His eyes gazed into mine and his mouth lifted into a smile as he leaned in and gave me a kiss. I tried to make it last but he left me shiver in the cold night air and pulled away. His fingers grazed my cheek bone and he let go of me completely.

I watched him walk back to his car and restart the engine, his car drove off into the distance and I stared after it. Once he was out of sight I was quick to get inside trying to banish the gaping hole that he’d left.