Changes

Mr. Hollins dismissed his class early one Friday afternoon. He was in his late forties, he had been teaching art at Raritan Valley High for almost fifteen years and was easily the coolest teacher there. The entire class cheered as he announced that since they had all done an excellent job with their landscapes and since there were 10 minutes left for the bell to ring, he would let them leave early for the weekend to enjoy the autumn air.

“Hey Frank,” Mikey raced behind his best friend as eighteen students rushed out the art room door. “Guess what?”

“What?” he asked patiently as he grabbed what he needed from his locker. Frank had managed to break his locker (by being stuffed into it) during the third week of school and, by some miracle, he ended up two lockers away from Mikey. “Did someone stuff another moldy sandwich into your vent? Because I don’t want to see it. That was just gross.”

Mikey giggled as he slammed his locker shut. He slammed it because slamming it was the only way to make it close. Apparently, the school promised new lockers every year but it never happened and year after year, students were stuck with broken, old lockers.

“No, of course not.” He examined a spot on his glasses before wiping it off with the hem of his shirt. “Guess again.”

Frank took a moment to think before replying. “You’re getting contacts?”

His best friend shook his head sadly. “I wish. You know my parents think it’s a waste of money. I seriously can’t wait until I’m twenty-one. Laser surgery, here we come.” Three minutes until the bell rang. Mikey and Frank glanced at their watches simultaneously. “Great. Now we have to wait for Gerard.” The older boy rolled his eyes.

Frank secretly didn’t think that this was as annoying as Mikey thought it was. “So what? He waits for us everyday. And he saved our asses from the Cuban Surprise.” They stared at each other for a full five seconds before shuddering, trying to purge the memory of the awful grey goop from their minds.

Mikey chuckled. “Yeah, he did. Guess again.”

“I don’t know,” Frank sighed. “You’ll have to tell me.”

“I’m planning your party,” the bespectacled boy replied in a singsong voice. This caught his best friend’s attention. Frank was only two weeks away from being fourteen. Perhaps this year, he’d get a little taller at last. He wouldn’t grow too tall; he knew that. He just wanted to be tall enough to not fit into lockers. Keep dreaming, he told himself. “I mean it’s not like there’s a huge guest list or anything. But I want to do something cool, we can have our first high school party. Or at least have a party instead of just going trick-o-treating and freaking out first graders.”

“Actually, I’m thinking of inviting this dude I met at lunch,” Frank said, agreeing with his best friend. “I think his name’s Ray; he plays guitar in Ryan Klienman’s band.” Frank and Mikey adored Ryan’s band, the Nobodies. “He even let me play his guitar. It’s way cooler than mine.”

“Awesome.” Mikey raised his hand for a high-five. They were the only two people in school who still high-fived, but they really didn’t care. It didn’t really make a huge difference; they were picked on either way. “So that’s a grand total of three.”

“Is Gerard coming?” Frank asked, trying to make it seem as though it wasn’t a very big deal. But God, it was the biggest deal ever.

Mikey was hard to fool. He knew Frank wanted Gerard to come. He could not help but ask himself why Frankie had to be so hung up on Gerard of all people. His own brother! But if that was what his best friend wanted…

“Alright,” he replied. “I’ll bring my brother, if it means that much to you.”

Frank was taken aback. He did not expect Mikey to realize. Did Mikey realize what he was thinking? Or was he just joking around? Frank tried to ignore his panicky thoughts and tried to sound nonchalant. “It’s not like his absence would make me cry or anything, dude. I just thought it might be, you know, polite. He hangs out with us, doesn’t he?”

“Who hangs out with you?” Gerard asked, popping out from behind Frank and giving him a heart attack.

“You do,” Mikey replied, chuckling. “We’re planning Frankie’s birthday party. Do you want to come?” He asked. There. It was done. But…it wasn’t like he was inviting a freaky stranger. It was just his brother; he loved his brother, idolized him. So why was he feeling so pissed off?

Gerard considered this a moment, not noticing Mikey’s death glare as several students pushed past the trio. “Who else is going to be there?”

“Didn’t you get the memo?” Mikey asked sarcastically. “We have millions of friends and they’re all coming to give Frank their best wishes.” He squirmed his way out the crowded exit. It paid to be scrawny.

Frank sniggered, even though it seemed to him that Mikey was being rude for no reason. After all, Gerard was his brother. He should have been nicer. But Gerard thought it was funny too. “I’m inviting this guy I know; Ray,” Frank told him as he managed to escape from some meathead who thought it would be funny to grab the back of his sweater.

“Toro?” Gerard looked surprised. “I didn’t know he even talked to anybody.”

“You know him?” Mikey turned around and walked backwards on the sidewalk to face Frank and Gerard.

“Yeah, he plays in Ryan’s band right? Ryan’s an ass, but I never talked to Ray. But let me let you in on a secret,” he huddled Mikey and Frank and put his arms around them as they leaned closer to listen. “I saw him the library the other day, staring at Michelle Simmons and mouthing ‘I love you’ over and over.”

The freshmen whistled. “The cheerleader?” they asked in unison and awe.

“The one and only,” the senior nodded solemnly. “I don’t think she even realized he was there, but he was spinning around in a chair trying to get her attention. I almost pissed myself trying not to laugh.” At that moment, all three of them broke out into laughter.

Someone in a passing car rolled down his window and gave them the one-finger-salute. “Quit laughing faggots!” he called as he sped away. Frank, Mikey and Gerard walked the rest of the way home silently, fallen leaves crunching under their footsteps. High school could be such a killjoy.

October thirty first. The ground was covered with leaves, a definite chill hung in the air as children passed from house to house in costumes ranging from cute to creepy, asking for candy with thousand-watt smiles on their faces. High school students toilet-papered parks and egged houses, grimacing and scaring small trick-o-treaters.

One high school student wanted nothing to do with any of it. Frank was flashing a thousand-watt smile (one that would later make girls swoon) of his own. Today, he was fourteen. Today, he would have a real party, with more than just one guest. Today, Gerard Way would be in his house. He felt faint at the thought. Gerard Way, with all that black hair and those hazel eyes, and that smile. Oh God, that smile made him melt (this smile would also later make girls swoon).

One glance in the mirror shook these thoughts from his mind. He felt bad about it, really, he did. How would he explain to Mikey when he and Gerard got together? But there was nothing to fear. While Gerard was his knight on a dark horse (black horses always seemed much cooler), Mikey was and always would be his best friend.

The doorbell rang. Mikey was there, on time and the first guest.

“Mikey!” Frank exclaimed, snatching the present from his friend’s hands without hesitation. “So glad you could make it!”

“Yeah,” Mikey examined his fingernails with a mock-bored voice. “I had so many other places to be today. I just couldn’t decide, but in the end, I settled on your place.” They giggled together at their inside joke. Mikey loved their joke, acting like they had friends or places to be. Truth be told, even if he had somewhere else to be, he wouldn’t rather be anywhere but with Frankie. “You look nice today,” he said, taking a slight risk. “Like, you know, unlike your usual whale-barf, moping self.” Frank really did look good. No wonder he had a crush on this boy—he could pull off the grungy outcast look and still look as friendly and happy as the sun. Maybe even a little more than friendly. Ew, he thought to himself. This was Frankie. He couldn’t think of Frankie that way.

But he did and kept it to himself as he followed his best friend into the living room where their yearly game ensemble was set up. Normally, it was a huge bowl of popcorn, a huge bowl of chips, a bottle of soda and two controllers.

This year, it was four controllers and three bottles of soda. And an extra bowl of chips.

“Rockin’ party, huh?” Frank grinned stupidly as he took his controller and pressed start.

“Totally,” Mikey replied, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose just before setting down his controller with an annoyed sigh to go answer the door. Frank followed him, wincing slightly as banged his bandaged arm against the wall.

“Gerard!” the birthday boy exclaimed in surprised delight. “You came!” Ray followed Gerard through the door and Frank’s expression fell slightly. Why did they come together?

“Of course I came.” Gerard handed him a small wrapped rectangle. “You’re my little brother’s best friend. And if Mikey wants me somewhere, I’ll be there.” He smiled at Mikey, trying as he had been for the past two months to actually be a part of his brother’s life. Mikey smiled back, but Gerard got the feeling that something was bothering him. He’d find out later. He looked back at Frank, who was grinning like a kid in a candy store. “Happy birthday, short stuff.” Gerard looked back at Ray, who also handed Frank a present.

“Thanks,” he replied, setting his gifts on the kitchen table. “We were just about to start playing.” He handed a controller to Gerard and one to Ray. “Do you guys play Streets of Rage?”

“I’m not bad,” Ray said lightly, delivering an expert-gamer’s kick to the first round of enemies. Mikey smirked as Gerard somehow managed to throw his character down an open manhole. “Gee, man! I didn’t even know that was possible.” Ray snorted with laughter as Gerard’s character committed suicide for a second time.

Gerard raised an eyebrow. “Gee? My name is Gerard.”

“It’s a nickname,” Ray replied as Frank and Mikey watched his character defeat the stage boss in fascination.

Gerard considered it a moment and remained silent. His character had run out of lives. Mikey watched his older brother carefully. It was strange; he had never seen Gerard talking to any of his friends, not even at lunch. He locked himself in his room once they came home and usually sat around sketching at lunch, occasionally talking to him and Frankie.

Mikey’s character ran out of lives as well. He never could get past the level 6 boss. Frank and Ray were still playing with a never-ending supply of enthusiasm. It was cool, being with other people. But it sucked. He never had to share Frank before. It was always just the two of them, giving unlimited attention to each other.

Frank’s father came into the room with four boxes of pizza. “Well, hello. Frank, I don’t believe I’ve met your other two friends before.”

Frank hit pause and turned to his dad. “Yeah, um, this is Mikey’s older brother Gerard and this is Ray. They’re seniors and…Ray plays guitar too.”

“Oh, does he?” Mr. Iero smiled. “Well perhaps you and Frank could play together sometime.” He left and took the video game mood with him. In a silent, unanimous decision, they all attacked the pizza and began talking with their mouths full.

“So Gee,” Ray swallowed and then continued, “You’re good at drawing, right? Your stuff is all over the hallway.”

Gerard swallowed a slice whole, somehow. “Yeah, but no one likes it. Mr. Hollison wanted me to see the guidance counselor last year. I never went.”

Mikey was surprised, but didn’t say anything. His brother was supposed to see the counselor? For what? He turned to Frank to see his reaction, but realized he didn’t have to bother. It would be the same as it always was: smitten.

“C’mon Frank,” he pulled his best friend into the kitchen. “Why don’t we get some more soda?”

“Sure.” Frank began digging through the refrigerator. Mikey watched him from behind, thinking. If he was going to say it, now would be the best time. There was a very slim chance that Gerard was going to return Frank’s feelings; he didn’t want to let him wander out there without a fair warning.

Too late. Frank had gotten two more bottles of Coke and spotted Gerard and Ray deep in conversation. And boy, was he unhappy about this. This was his party. What was Ray doing, trying to take Gerard’s attention like that every chance he got. At this rate, Gerard wouldn’t even notice Frank.

“So, Ray,” he sat down next to the poofy-haired senior boy. “What kind of guitar do you use?”

“Uh we were kinda—” Gerard didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence. Mikey used the opportunity to get the answer he needed.

“Gerard.” Mikey’s tone was quiet and serious. “Do Mom and Dad know?”

“About what?” The older sibling was thrown off by the sudden inquiry.

“The counselor. Do Mom and Dad know?”

“It was nothing Mikey.” This was annoying. He was trying to be a good brother, but he didn’t need the kid poking his nose into everything. “It was just about my options for art school.” Why did he always end up lying? He looked over at Ray. The man was clearly trying not to laugh. That Frank kid, however, looked dead serious.

“Frank,” Mikey whispered urgently into his ear, interrupting the conversation. “I need to talk to you, now.” He grabbed his best friend by the arm and dragged him into the living room.

When they left, Ray could bear it no longer and let out a long, hearty laugh. “Oh man,” he gasped, trying to breathe.

Gerard couldn’t help but stare as Ray’s massive hair wobbled with every guffaw. “What’s so funny?”

Ray gasped again and calmed down. “Nothing.” He smirked to himself.

“You’re smirking, dude. I know I have no people skills, but you were laughing at me, weren’t you?” He was laughed at on a daily basis, but that didn’t mean he liked it.

“No. Trust me. I wasn’t laughing at you.”

“Then tell me what was so goddamn funny before I tell the whole goddamn school about you and Michelle Simmons!” Gerard surprised himself. His temper seemed to flare, lately. It was the alcohol.

Ray was horrified. “You saw that?” he asked in a mortified whisper. He hesitated. “Okay, well, uh. Well, you know, Frank?” Gerard nodded for him to continue. “He likes you,” he said as quietly and quickly as he could.

Now Gerard laughed. “Don’t be stupid. He’s scared of me. The only reason I’m even here is because Mikey wanted me here.” He didn’t know that Frank was listening.

Mikey didn’t have the heart to say anything and led him back to the TV room at the sound of Ray’s laughter, where they’d stood for the last ten minutes, listening to the senior boys talking. He looked at Frank. He was hurt; it was all over his face.

“So what were you going to tell me, Mikey?” Frank tried to keep it out of his voice. Some birthday party.

Mikey couldn’t stand it. “I forgot,” he yawned. “I’ll let you know when I remember.”

The party ended with silence. Neither Ray nor Gerard had any idea what was going on and neither Mikey nor Frank could keep acting like there was nothing on their minds. As the two older boys left, Mikey decided to stay for the night. He knew Frank would cry if everyone left. They’d both cried before.

As they lay next to each other on Frank’s bedroom floor, silence passed between them. It was supposed to be their first party. It was supposed to be fun, not a disaster.

Frank was falling asleep, but stayed awake a minute longer when Mikey nudged him.

“Yeah?” he asked groggily.

“Nothing, Frankie. Just…happy birthday.” Mikey groaned inwardly. Why couldn’t he have said it before Frankie found out like that?

Frank bit his lip as he closed his eyes, trying with all his strength to not cry. Yeah, he thought. Happy fucking birthday.