So Here's to Living Life Miserable
Oooo You Set My Soul Alive
I sighed as I plopped myself down on our couch and lit a cigarette. I know, I know it’s a nasty habit. I blame Ben for getting me into it.
I sighed again at the thought of Ben. He’s been gone on tour for three months. Three whole months! It’s really hard to be with out the boy you’re head over heals for, for about an hour let alone three months. I was starting to go nuts without him. But luckily for me I had the most amazing support system. My best friends in the whole world Hayley and my big brother Alex, it may be strange to some that my big brother and his girlfriend were my best friends, but you become accustomed to it after awhile.
After I put out my smoke I decided not to sit around and sulk about not having Ben with me, but to watch some TV. So I grabbed the remote, turned the TV on and started to flick through the channels until I found Saturday night live. Ben and I always found time, whenever he was home, to watch it. I personally found it amusing so I decided to watch it.
When some commercials came on I decided to get changed into my Pj’s and curl up on the couch. So I quickly went and changed then hurried back just in time to hear the guy introduce the band that was playing.
“Blah, blah, blah, Panic At The Disco” I wasn’t really paying attention until the last part.
The crowed clapped and then they started to play 9 in the afternoon.
My heart skipped quite a few beats as Brendon began to sing. It’s been 8 or 9 years since I had to leave them. I still missed Ryan and Brendon, not as much as I initially thought I would, but I loved them both so much it would kinda be hard to fully get over lousing your two best friends. It’s kinda funny how I thought I was in ‘love’ with Ryan when I left Nevada. Only to find out I had no idea what that kind of love was until I met Benjamin Kowalewicz. And that brings me back to being sad about Ben.
I rolled my eyes at how overdramatic I was being. Its not like I had to worry about him. He would never cheat on me and the guys would make sure he got home safe, he always takes the time to call me every day to make sure I’m alright. That man is perfect in everyway, from the top of his head to the tips of his toes; in my eyes he was perfection. I thanked god everyday for giving me Ben cause without him I’d be totally lost. Which, if I remember correctly, is the exact way Ryan used to make me feel.
I got up and stretched as I turned off the TV and headed to the kitchen to find something to eat. I made myself a toasted tomato sandwich and sat in the living room once again as the apartment door was thrown open to revile Hayley dragging my brother behind her.
“Um can I help you?” I asked eyebrows raised.
“Actually, yes turn on your TV!” Hayley smiled widely as she and Alex removed their shoes.
Hayley immediately darted for my couch as soon as she had her shoes off and she had the TV on within seconds of her landing on my couch. As a very tired looking Alex closed the door and slumped over to the lazyboy.
“Yes! We didn’t miss them!” Hayley cried as Panic started to play I write sins.
I glanced over at Alex, “you guys came over here to watch my TV at, what 12:50 something?”
All Alex could manage was a large yawn and a nod.
“Well our TV is broken, and we figured you could use some company” Hayley shrugged eyes never leaving the screen, “what I wouldn’t give to get in those pants”
“Excuse me!” Alex snapped, now fully awake.
Hayley giggled, “I would enjoy having a one night stand with Ryan Ross, Brendon Urie, Spencer Smith, and Jon Walker and I would give anything to have one”
Alex glared at the boys in the screen, “I don’t see what’s so wonderful about them that would make you want to have an orgy with them”
“Well speaking from experience Ross is pretty good in bed” I shrugged
“EW! No!” Alex cried covering his ears and closing his eyes tightly, “my baby sister has never done such things! And never will!”
Hayley rolled her eyes as I laughed and finished eating my sandwich.
“It’s really weird that you’ve actually been there” Hayley sighed dreamily, referring to my sleeping with Ryan.
“Yeah, it’s really weird” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
I sighed again at the thought of Ben. He’s been gone on tour for three months. Three whole months! It’s really hard to be with out the boy you’re head over heals for, for about an hour let alone three months. I was starting to go nuts without him. But luckily for me I had the most amazing support system. My best friends in the whole world Hayley and my big brother Alex, it may be strange to some that my big brother and his girlfriend were my best friends, but you become accustomed to it after awhile.
After I put out my smoke I decided not to sit around and sulk about not having Ben with me, but to watch some TV. So I grabbed the remote, turned the TV on and started to flick through the channels until I found Saturday night live. Ben and I always found time, whenever he was home, to watch it. I personally found it amusing so I decided to watch it.
When some commercials came on I decided to get changed into my Pj’s and curl up on the couch. So I quickly went and changed then hurried back just in time to hear the guy introduce the band that was playing.
“Blah, blah, blah, Panic At The Disco” I wasn’t really paying attention until the last part.
The crowed clapped and then they started to play 9 in the afternoon.
My heart skipped quite a few beats as Brendon began to sing. It’s been 8 or 9 years since I had to leave them. I still missed Ryan and Brendon, not as much as I initially thought I would, but I loved them both so much it would kinda be hard to fully get over lousing your two best friends. It’s kinda funny how I thought I was in ‘love’ with Ryan when I left Nevada. Only to find out I had no idea what that kind of love was until I met Benjamin Kowalewicz. And that brings me back to being sad about Ben.
I rolled my eyes at how overdramatic I was being. Its not like I had to worry about him. He would never cheat on me and the guys would make sure he got home safe, he always takes the time to call me every day to make sure I’m alright. That man is perfect in everyway, from the top of his head to the tips of his toes; in my eyes he was perfection. I thanked god everyday for giving me Ben cause without him I’d be totally lost. Which, if I remember correctly, is the exact way Ryan used to make me feel.
I got up and stretched as I turned off the TV and headed to the kitchen to find something to eat. I made myself a toasted tomato sandwich and sat in the living room once again as the apartment door was thrown open to revile Hayley dragging my brother behind her.
“Um can I help you?” I asked eyebrows raised.
“Actually, yes turn on your TV!” Hayley smiled widely as she and Alex removed their shoes.
Hayley immediately darted for my couch as soon as she had her shoes off and she had the TV on within seconds of her landing on my couch. As a very tired looking Alex closed the door and slumped over to the lazyboy.
“Yes! We didn’t miss them!” Hayley cried as Panic started to play I write sins.
I glanced over at Alex, “you guys came over here to watch my TV at, what 12:50 something?”
All Alex could manage was a large yawn and a nod.
“Well our TV is broken, and we figured you could use some company” Hayley shrugged eyes never leaving the screen, “what I wouldn’t give to get in those pants”
“Excuse me!” Alex snapped, now fully awake.
Hayley giggled, “I would enjoy having a one night stand with Ryan Ross, Brendon Urie, Spencer Smith, and Jon Walker and I would give anything to have one”
Alex glared at the boys in the screen, “I don’t see what’s so wonderful about them that would make you want to have an orgy with them”
“Well speaking from experience Ross is pretty good in bed” I shrugged
“EW! No!” Alex cried covering his ears and closing his eyes tightly, “my baby sister has never done such things! And never will!”
Hayley rolled her eyes as I laughed and finished eating my sandwich.
“It’s really weird that you’ve actually been there” Hayley sighed dreamily, referring to my sleeping with Ryan.
“Yeah, it’s really weird” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
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this is a 'it gets better with time' story