Show Me The Light In This Dark World
Chapter Two
24/4/05
America is scary. It's really big and I don't like it. I'm in a huge town called New York. A city. It's all so loud and bright. I want to go home, to see my family again and give my sisters and brothers lots and lots of hugs. I think it's called "homesick." Well whatever it is, it's horrible.
I'm in my room right now. It's wet, no wrong word, damp. The walls are damp, it has a damp air and it's cold. My bed is great compared to my old one back home. I have a frame and a mattress and a blanket, but it's called a duvet. Oh and apilow pillow as well.
I started work last night. Weird..last night. It should be yesterday morning, but it wasn't. Night. That's what I am, "a creature of the night" apparently. That's what my first customer told me. I didn't understand what the men wanted me to do. They gave me to another man who put me in my room. He's called Daniel. It's pronounced Dan-yil. Anyway, he told me I had to make the customers happy. I didn't know what that meant until my first one arrived. I struggled against him, but he seemed to like that. It hurt a lot, he didn't care. There was only one thing he wanted from me, and it didn't matter if I struggled. He would get it. It was sick. I feel sick and dirty. If this is what I have to do the whole time, I don't think I can stand it.
I cried a lot after that. And then I had to do it again, two more times. The last one I was numb for. I tried to ignore what was happening, maybe that's how I'll live through this. By pretending it's not happening.
I'm tired, and hurting. I'm going to sleep.
America is scary. It's really big and I don't like it. I'm in a huge town called New York. A city. It's all so loud and bright. I want to go home, to see my family again and give my sisters and brothers lots and lots of hugs. I think it's called "homesick." Well whatever it is, it's horrible.
I'm in my room right now. It's wet, no wrong word, damp. The walls are damp, it has a damp air and it's cold. My bed is great compared to my old one back home. I have a frame and a mattress and a blanket, but it's called a duvet. Oh and apilow pillow as well.
I started work last night. Weird..last night. It should be yesterday morning, but it wasn't. Night. That's what I am, "a creature of the night" apparently. That's what my first customer told me. I didn't understand what the men wanted me to do. They gave me to another man who put me in my room. He's called Daniel. It's pronounced Dan-yil. Anyway, he told me I had to make the customers happy. I didn't know what that meant until my first one arrived. I struggled against him, but he seemed to like that. It hurt a lot, he didn't care. There was only one thing he wanted from me, and it didn't matter if I struggled. He would get it. It was sick. I feel sick and dirty. If this is what I have to do the whole time, I don't think I can stand it.
I cried a lot after that. And then I had to do it again, two more times. The last one I was numb for. I tried to ignore what was happening, maybe that's how I'll live through this. By pretending it's not happening.
I'm tired, and hurting. I'm going to sleep.