Losing the Feeling of Feeling Unique

JON’S POV

‘God, it’s all my fault, I wasn’t p-p-paying attention to the road and then this car came out of n-nowhere and it h-hit her side and…God, Jon, what have I done?!’ Ryan shrieked.

I pulled him into a hug, after we parted I looked straight into his eyes and said, ‘Ryan, do not blame this on yourself. It is not your fault, don’t for one second think it is. It was just terrible luck that you got hit and Keltie got hurt.’

As I said this his eyes welled up and his knees buckled and he fell to the ground. In a flash Ruby was at his side and she was hugging him, letting him cry into her shoulder. For around an hour Ryan, Ruby, Brendon Spencer and I sat in the waiting room, waiting on any news about Keltie. According to Ryan as soon as they arrived here she was taken straight to the ICU and he hasn’t heard anything since. He tried multiple times to find out something from the nurse at reception, but she said that once they knew anything a doctor would come
and talk to them.

We sat there, the five of us dotted around the bleak room. The silence was louder than any of our concerts. It was beginning to get to me when a doctor entered the room.

RYAN’S POV

‘Ryan Ross?’ the doctor asked as he entered. Before he’d even finished the word I was at his side and waiting on his news.

‘Can you step outside please?’ I nodded and did as he asked. He followed me out and closed the door almost silently behind him.

‘Mr. Ross, I just want to let you know we have Miss Colleen’s condition under control,’ as he said this I breathed a heavy sigh of relief, but my feeling of slight content was short lived. ‘I have something to ask you. Did you know that Miss Colleen was pregnant?’

‘What?’ I asked quietly, ‘pregnant?’

‘Yes, Mr Ross, she was three months pregnant.’ He stated, taking in this piece of news I leant back against the wall. ‘Wait, was?’ I questioned.

‘Yes…she lost the baby as a direct result of the accident.’ He said rather sadly.

‘I can’t believe it,’ I said so quietly that it was almost inaudible.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said sincerely before slowly walking away.

I sat on the floor in the hall of the hospital letting the devastating news sink in. the fact that
I’d not only ruined Keltie’s life, but I helped take away a life that hadn’t even started yet. This made me hate myself even more than I had done previously.

Hearing the door next me open, I gloomily looked up to see Ruby staring down at me, her face tear stained.

‘Hey Ry, why are you out here?’ she asked bending down so she we were looking straight at each other.

RUBY’S POV

‘Keltie, Keltie was pregnant. But sh-she lost the baby.’ Ryan forced out, fresh, salty tears leaking from his brown eyes.

‘Oh Ryan,’ I soothed. Saying nothing because there isn’t much you can say in that type of situation.

‘What am I going to do Ruby?’ he asked me quietly, his eyes leaking with even more tears and his bottom lip trembling, reminding me of a small child who’d just got told off.

‘All you can do Ry, look after Keltie. She needs you more than ever now, I know it might seem hard, but stay strong. She needs you to be right now, don’t forget she just lost a baby too.’ I counselled.

Just as I said this, the doctor who spoke to Ryan before walked up to us.

‘Mr. Ross, Miss Colleen is awake, and you may see her now. But only one person at a time as not to overwhelm her,’ he said politely.

‘Thank you doctor, thank you for everything you’ve done.’ Ryan said graciously.

‘You’re welcome sir, she’s in room 341. Go up to the third floor, it will be fairly simple to find the room from there.’

‘Thank you.’ Ryan said before slipping his hand out of mine and slowly walking towards the elevator, me not following, knowing it was something he had to do alone.

As I saw him step into the elevator, I walked back into the waiting room the door closing with a slam behind me, causing the three men who inhabited the room, to look up.

‘He’s in pieces,’ I informed them. ‘He didn’t know, but Keltie was pregnant and she lost the baby.’ I said calmly, calmer than I felt.

I subsequently heard three sharp intakes of breath. ‘Where is he now?’ Spencer questioned.

‘He went up to see Keltie, the doctor said he could.’

RYAN’S POV

I knocked lightly on the door, before pushing it open without even waiting for an answer.

Tentatively, I walked deeper into the room, almost too scared to even talk. I looked over at my unconscious girlfriend, the woman that was close to being the mother of my child. I couldn’t stop yet another wave of tears.

I stood beside her bed, I took her hand in mine, then I softly kissed her forehead, before whispering, ‘I love you.’

As I said this, her eyes fluttered and then slowly opened.

‘Ryan?’ she asked, her voice hoarse.

‘I’m here Keltie, I’m here,’ I said.

‘Why do I hurt so much?’ she said almost reminding me of a small child.

‘We were in a car accident babe,’ I said quietly.

‘What? Did I lose the baby?!’ she asked frantically.

‘You knew you were pregnant?’ I asked in disbelief. ‘Were you planning on telling me?’

‘Yeah, I was, I was actually going to tell you when we got home.’ She said honestly, ‘I only found out a couple of days ago.’ She hissed in pain as she tried to move.

‘Don’t move too much, you had to have an emergency c-section.’ I instructed.

‘Ryan, I’m scared’ she said her eyes welling up.

I kissed her lips softly and brought her into a loose hug, as not to cause her any type of pain.
‘I love you,’ I said to her.

We sat together in complete silence for an unknown amount of time before a small knock came from the door. Seconds later, Ruby, Jon, Spencer and Brendon all shuffled into the room, for a moment they all stood there awkwardly before Ruby came up to Keltie and hugged her.

‘I’m so glad you’re okay,’ she smiled.

One by one, the guys all greeted her. But soon after a curly haired nurse entered the room and asked us all to leave as visiting hours were over. The guys all bid their goodbyes and left. Keltie and I were then alone in the small drab room.

I hugged her tight and kissed her on the forehead ‘goodnight Kel, I’ll be back in the morning.’

‘Ryan? Would you consider having kids?’ she asked quietly, almost as if she didn’t really want me to hear.

‘Yeah, I’d love kids, maybe in a couple of years. But if we had one now, I’d be over the moon.’ I answered truthfully, making a grin stretch across her face.

‘I love you.’ she said to me, making my grin mirror hers.