Losing the Feeling of Feeling Unique

I whipped around to look at Ruby, who was propped up on her elbows in the bed, the quilt still wrapped firmly around her. Her hair was messed up, but she looked just as gorgeous as ever. I almost forgot about what I’d just said, she had that effect on me.

I was jolted back to reality as Ryan grabbed my arm and pulled me around to face him.

‘You love her?’ he asked incredulously.

‘Yeah, do you?’ Ruby’s voice came from behind me again, and I glanced between her and her brother.

‘I think I do,’ I said quietly, directing my voice more at my shoes than anything else.

‘Jon,’ Ruby said, sitting up properly and smiling. ‘I lo-‘

‘DON’T SAY IT!’ Ryan shouted furiously. ‘You don’t, Ruby, I won’t let you!’

‘Ryan, think about what you’re saying for a second!’ she cried.

He opened his mouth, and I expected another explosive retaliation, but instead he exhaled deeply and looked me straight in the eye.

‘Get out,’ he said quietly.

‘Ryan, you don’t realise how stupid you’re being –‘ I began, but before I could continue, he punched me. His right fist connecting with my left cheek. I staggered backwards, totally stunned.

‘Jon!’ Ruby cried, jumping out of bed so she could make her way to me, but Ryan held her back.

‘I said get out,’ he spoke calmly, but his voice betrayed his anger.

I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to talk to Ruby, but I knew better than to contradict Ryan at that point, I’d never seen him angrier.

I looked at Ruby, her eyes wide and fearful. She swallowed, before nodding at me.

I gave her a questioning look, to ask if she was sure, she nodded again, so I stood up, and with one look back at them, I left the room.

- - - - -

RUBY’S POV

As soon as Jon had left, I wrenched myself out of Ryan’s grasp and whirled around to face him.

‘What the hell, Ryan? What the fuck just happened?’

‘You can’t be with him, Ruby, he’ll break your heart,’ he pleaded with me.

‘Ryan, I think you need to give us a chance.’

‘I’ll give you a chance, but Jon,’ he trailed off, looking back at the door. ‘He’s had too many.’

I didn’t know how to respond, he seemed so sure that being with Jon was terrible idea.

Part of me wanted to trust Ryan, forget about Jon and just be pleased that I had a brother, but another, more significant part of me, wanted to stay with Jon. After all, he’d said himself that he didn’t have a good reputation with women, but he’d bought me the iPod, which was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done, and he seemed so genuine.

I cried out in frustration.

‘I don’t know what to do!’ I looked up at Ryan, who looked almost regretful. He walked over and hugged me tightly.

‘I know you think I have no right to tell you what to do, or what not to do, but I’m just trying to make sure you don’t get hurt, I care about you too much,’ he whispered, not loosening the hug at all.

I couldn’t think of a response, but tears silently began to fall down my cheeks. I’d never been more torn; my brother or the guy I thought I was falling in love.

I pulled away from Ryan, sniffing slightly.

‘I think I need to be on my own for a bit, I’m going to go for a walk,’ I asked, more than stated. He nodded and I left the room, grabbing my coat on the way out.

- - - - -

JON’S POV

As I shut the hotel room door, I glanced both ways down the corridor, deciding to go to Ryan and Brendon’s room. I knew Ryan wasn’t there, and I needed some advice.

When I walked inside, Brendon and Spencer were there, just chatting.

I walked over and sat down next to Spencer, who glanced sideways at me before sitting up.

‘Jon, what the hell happened to your face? Did someone punch you?’ he asked.

I nodded.

‘Not just someone, Ryan,’ I said, somewhat bitterly.

‘What?!’ Brendon and Spencer shouted simultaneously.

‘He found me and Ruby sleeping together – NOT LIKE THAT! – and he freaked out, had a go at me because I said I might love her, and then he punched me, and then I left. Now he’s talking to Ruby,’ I sighed, putting my head in my hands.

‘Woah, back up! You love Ruby?’ Brendon asked, looking as though he was torn between shock, disappointment and excitement.

I looked up at him before smiling slightly.

‘Yeah, I think I do.’

‘Oh my God, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you use the L word before,’ Spencer said, grinning, before whispering to Brendon, but not very subtly. ‘I think he really means it, dude.’

‘Wow,’ Brendon said, ‘I thought you were just messing around, I didn’t realise you’ he dropped his voice to a whisper, ‘loved her.’

Brendon and Spencer looked at each other proudly.

‘I think Jon’s finally growing up,’ Spencer said, nodding wisely.

‘Well, yeah, but if Ryan gets his way, Ruby and me aren’t going to be together that long,’ I muttered sadly, leaning back on the sofa and shutting my eyes.

‘Why?’ Brendon asked stupidly, earning himself a smack round the back of the head from Spencer.

‘Did you not hear the story? Ryan punched him!’

Before they could start arguing, I heard mine and Spencer’s hotel room door open and close.

I stood up, and walked out into the corridor, to see Ruby walking towards the lift.

Acting on impulse, I ran after her, only just getting into the lift with her as it shut.

She turned to me, her eyes shining with tears.

‘I don’t know what to do, Jon.’

I wrapped my arms around her without a word, resting my chin on top of her head.

She sighed contentedly.

‘I meant what I said you know,’ I said quietly. ‘I think I do love you.’

She looked up at me, smiling.

I brought my head down so I could kiss her softly, when I pulled away, she rested her head against my chest, and whispered,

‘I think I love you too.’