Love Is Just a Chemical Creation
Remembering Sunday
When I actually realized what was happening I quickly pushed him away. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t just let myself let go enough to so something spontaneous.
“Alex stop.” I said stepping away from him. “I can’t do this.”
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that. I was just caught up in the moment. God I am so stupid some times.” He scolded himself.
“Your not stupid Alex I just can’t… I just can’t do that. I don’t trust people easily and kissing you means I am letting my guard down. I don’t want to get hurt again.” I told him as I finished wiping the remainder of the tears off my face.
“I honestly didn’t mean to kiss you Jayde. It just kind of happened.”
“I know Alex and I wish I could explain further but it is just to hard.” I told him placing my hand on his arm.
“Its ok I get it. Lets get inside shall we?” He said putting his arm around my shoulders.
“Yeah. So you excited to play tonight?” I asked shrugging what had just happened off and getting excited myself.
“Yeah I am pumped. I can never get the feeling of singing that first note on stage out of my head. I have always loved singing. So when I get up on that stage every night I want to give them the best performance that I can. It just gets your adrenaline pumping. You know what I mean?” He asked. The look on his face was priceless. You could tell that those moments are what he lived for.
“Well I have never been on stage singing before , but that is exactly how I feel behind a camera. It is my number one passion.” I said laughing.
“One quick question.” He stopped and faced toward me.
“Shoot.” I said.
“Can you sing?” I started laughing and quickly stopped when I was that he was being dead serious.
“Umm I don’t really know I don’t think I am that bad. Why?” I questioned him getting nervous about what he was planning.
“No reason. Well no reason as of right now.” He said with a sly smile.
“Jayde!” someone called.
We both turned and saw Skylar walking toward us. There were a few fans near by that looked over to see what was going on. As soon as they spotted Alex they walked over and asked him if they could get a photo and an autograph. Skylar and I started laughing and said goodbye to Alex and walked inside.
“So what is going on with you and Mr. Gaskarth?” she asked elbowing my in the ribs lightly.
“Nothing why?” I said looking at her funny.
“No reason. You guys just looked pretty cozy.” She mirked.
“No we were just talking.” I told her. “He’s really cool.”
She started laughing and walked into the guys’ dressing room. I followed trying to think if it had really looked like something may have been going on between us.
~AN HOUR LATER~
They guys’ set was in full swing and let me tell you they were better than I remembered them to be. They were so full of energy that I just couldn’t put my camera down. Skylar was looking at me with a smile on her face. She couldn’t pull me away from my camera and she knew it.
“Okay guy we are going to slow it down a little bit and ask a new face to come out here. We just did a photo shoot with her yesterday for Rolling stone, so you better go get it when it comes out. She is really cool and I want you all to meet her.” Alex said into the microphone. He turned to the wing where Skylar and I were standing. “Jayde please come out here. We were just talking about what it felt like to be up here and I want to show you what I meant.”
I was frozen to my spot. It was like my feet were stuck into the concrete. Skylar gave me a soft push and I stumbled out onto the stage.
“I don’t know if you know this song so here are the lyrics. I will tell you when to come in.” He said as he handed me a sheet of paper that had the words to one of their songs scribbled out onto it.
“Alex I can’t do this!” I whispered to him.
“Yes you can just don’t think about them being here.” He whispered back.
“You are going to own me so bad after this.” I told him as I took the microphone he handed me.
“Looking forward to it love.” He laughed.
“Ok this song is called Remembering Sunday and it was written by Zack after a really painful experience.” He stated singing and I was hooked.
He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes
Starting making his way past two in the morning
He hasn't been sober for days
Leaning now into the breeze
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees
They had breakfast together
But two eggs don't last
Like the feeling of what he needs
His voice was so soothing that I stood mesmerized.
Now this place seems familiar to him
She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin
She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs
Left him dying to get in
Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother
But have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm gonna ask her to marry me
I started to listen to the lyrics and I knew that Zack had wrote this song after he found out about being a dad, and about their friend killing herself. It broke my heart because I knew exactly how he felt.
And even though she doesn't believe in love
He's determined to call her bluff
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling his gut
Waking the neighbors
Unfamiliar faces
He pleads though he tries
But he's only denied
Now he's dying to get inside
Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother
But have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm gonna ask her to marry me
I looked at Zack and I saw the look in his eyes. Playing this song brought back all of the good and bad memories that came with thinking about her. I had that look in my eyes when I was sitting in my car earlier.
The neighbors said she moved away
Funny how it rained all day
I didn't think much of it then
But it's starting to all make sense
Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds
Are following me in my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever she may be
I started to sing when Alex looked at me and nodded. I was so nervous all of my previous thought went fuzzy and drifted away.
I'm not coming back (forgive me)
I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak (I'm not calling, I'm not calling)
But you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt
Now the rain is just (You're driving me crazy, I'm)
Washing you out of my hair
And out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world
From so many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now
I'm at home in the clouds
And towering over your head
I had never sang in front of people before and I was terrified but as I spoke those word I got what Alex was talking about. I know knew that even though bad things happen you have to let them go and embrace and grow from the experience.
Well I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home
“Alex stop.” I said stepping away from him. “I can’t do this.”
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that. I was just caught up in the moment. God I am so stupid some times.” He scolded himself.
“Your not stupid Alex I just can’t… I just can’t do that. I don’t trust people easily and kissing you means I am letting my guard down. I don’t want to get hurt again.” I told him as I finished wiping the remainder of the tears off my face.
“I honestly didn’t mean to kiss you Jayde. It just kind of happened.”
“I know Alex and I wish I could explain further but it is just to hard.” I told him placing my hand on his arm.
“Its ok I get it. Lets get inside shall we?” He said putting his arm around my shoulders.
“Yeah. So you excited to play tonight?” I asked shrugging what had just happened off and getting excited myself.
“Yeah I am pumped. I can never get the feeling of singing that first note on stage out of my head. I have always loved singing. So when I get up on that stage every night I want to give them the best performance that I can. It just gets your adrenaline pumping. You know what I mean?” He asked. The look on his face was priceless. You could tell that those moments are what he lived for.
“Well I have never been on stage singing before , but that is exactly how I feel behind a camera. It is my number one passion.” I said laughing.
“One quick question.” He stopped and faced toward me.
“Shoot.” I said.
“Can you sing?” I started laughing and quickly stopped when I was that he was being dead serious.
“Umm I don’t really know I don’t think I am that bad. Why?” I questioned him getting nervous about what he was planning.
“No reason. Well no reason as of right now.” He said with a sly smile.
“Jayde!” someone called.
We both turned and saw Skylar walking toward us. There were a few fans near by that looked over to see what was going on. As soon as they spotted Alex they walked over and asked him if they could get a photo and an autograph. Skylar and I started laughing and said goodbye to Alex and walked inside.
“So what is going on with you and Mr. Gaskarth?” she asked elbowing my in the ribs lightly.
“Nothing why?” I said looking at her funny.
“No reason. You guys just looked pretty cozy.” She mirked.
“No we were just talking.” I told her. “He’s really cool.”
She started laughing and walked into the guys’ dressing room. I followed trying to think if it had really looked like something may have been going on between us.
~AN HOUR LATER~
They guys’ set was in full swing and let me tell you they were better than I remembered them to be. They were so full of energy that I just couldn’t put my camera down. Skylar was looking at me with a smile on her face. She couldn’t pull me away from my camera and she knew it.
“Okay guy we are going to slow it down a little bit and ask a new face to come out here. We just did a photo shoot with her yesterday for Rolling stone, so you better go get it when it comes out. She is really cool and I want you all to meet her.” Alex said into the microphone. He turned to the wing where Skylar and I were standing. “Jayde please come out here. We were just talking about what it felt like to be up here and I want to show you what I meant.”
I was frozen to my spot. It was like my feet were stuck into the concrete. Skylar gave me a soft push and I stumbled out onto the stage.
“I don’t know if you know this song so here are the lyrics. I will tell you when to come in.” He said as he handed me a sheet of paper that had the words to one of their songs scribbled out onto it.
“Alex I can’t do this!” I whispered to him.
“Yes you can just don’t think about them being here.” He whispered back.
“You are going to own me so bad after this.” I told him as I took the microphone he handed me.
“Looking forward to it love.” He laughed.
“Ok this song is called Remembering Sunday and it was written by Zack after a really painful experience.” He stated singing and I was hooked.
He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes
Starting making his way past two in the morning
He hasn't been sober for days
Leaning now into the breeze
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees
They had breakfast together
But two eggs don't last
Like the feeling of what he needs
His voice was so soothing that I stood mesmerized.
Now this place seems familiar to him
She pulled on his hand with a devilish grin
She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs
Left him dying to get in
Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother
But have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm gonna ask her to marry me
I started to listen to the lyrics and I knew that Zack had wrote this song after he found out about being a dad, and about their friend killing herself. It broke my heart because I knew exactly how he felt.
And even though she doesn't believe in love
He's determined to call her bluff
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling his gut
Waking the neighbors
Unfamiliar faces
He pleads though he tries
But he's only denied
Now he's dying to get inside
Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother
But have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm gonna ask her to marry me
I looked at Zack and I saw the look in his eyes. Playing this song brought back all of the good and bad memories that came with thinking about her. I had that look in my eyes when I was sitting in my car earlier.
The neighbors said she moved away
Funny how it rained all day
I didn't think much of it then
But it's starting to all make sense
Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds
Are following me in my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever she may be
I started to sing when Alex looked at me and nodded. I was so nervous all of my previous thought went fuzzy and drifted away.
I'm not coming back (forgive me)
I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak (I'm not calling, I'm not calling)
But you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt
Now the rain is just (You're driving me crazy, I'm)
Washing you out of my hair
And out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world
From so many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now
I'm at home in the clouds
And towering over your head
I had never sang in front of people before and I was terrified but as I spoke those word I got what Alex was talking about. I know knew that even though bad things happen you have to let them go and embrace and grow from the experience.
Well I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home
♠ ♠ ♠
not my favorite chapter but I still like it.COMMENTS&BANNERS= LOVE
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