Love Is Just a Chemical Creation

I had been sitting in my room for the past day and a half, gone through two cartons of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, and watched at least seven lifetime chick flicks. I haven’t talked to Skylar or any of the guys since the show, which was a week ago by the way. I had received 23 calls and 36 texts. All but one asking if I was still alive. The only one that wasn’t asking me that was one from Zack saying ‘Had a great time last night. Hoping I can see you again. Call me when you get this.’ I really had a great time with him too but me head was so crazy at the moment that there was no way I could see him again until I got it all cleared up.

I was still feeling bad about that night. I didn’t know if Zack and Alex were back on speaking terms like Zack had promised me, or if Alex still hated me. I had thought calling Skylar to touch base and let her know that I was still alive but I didn’t want to risk someone else picking up. I knew that is was really silly of me to think that but I didn’t want to have to explain myself. I felt like a little kid that just got caught breaking mom’s really expensive vase. You didn’t want her to be mad at you but you also felt bad for doing it in the first place.

In the time I had locked myself in my room I had figured out that I honestly didn’t regret kissing Zack. I was feeling an odd pull to him. I couldn’t exactly explain it. I hadn’t felt a connection like that with a guy since I met Josh. I picked my phone up and looked through my contacts. When I found the name I wanted I pressed the call button and waited for them to answer. I always went to them for advise when I was having a problem.

“Hello?” He asked.

I sighed in relief “Craigery!” I was so happy to talk to him.

“Jayde! Is that you?” He seemed surprised.

“Yeah its me. Who else calls you by your full name?” I said to him.

“Touché. What are you up to? Its been what three months since I talked to you last?”

“That’s kind of why I was calling I need some advice, and your getting kind of rusty its only been two months.” I laughed.

I met Craig when I first started at Rolling Stone. They sent me to one of his bands concerts to get some shots of them on stage for a small article they were doing on a really well-known unsigned band. None of their full time photographers wanted to do it so they gave it to me. I wasn’t complaining though, I got some great shots, some good memories, and a best friend out of the deal.

“Who’s the guy? What’s he like? And do I need to kick some butt?” HE said chuckling. “And you know how it is on tour, it all seems like one big blur.”

“How do you know this is about a boy?” I asked. Was I really that predictable? “What if I told you that I lost my job and I needed to sell myself to get by?”

“First, I know its about a boy because you wouldn’t be calling me if it wasn’t. second, I would tell you to get you skinny behind to the nearest airport and that there would be a plane ticket to our next venue waiting for you, because no best friend of mine will be selling themselves to random, raunchy men to make a living. And third, I know that you wouldn’t have lost your job and sold your self for money because they would be stupid to fire you. You are an amazing photographer, and you also hate prostitution. You think is grody and wrong.”

I was floored. That was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. He really did care about me and I was glad I had him as a best friend.

“Aw Craig! That so sweet.” I gushed.

“Yeah ,yeah don’t get all soft on me now.” He said trying to lighten the mood. “So what’s his name?”

“His name is Zack. He’s in a band called All Time Low. He’s really sweet and funny. I feel a pull to him like I haven’t felt with any guy since Josh. But best of all he gets how I feel about the Josh thing.” I told him. The smile on my face only growing as I thought about him.

“Oh I know that band. They’ve got decent music. He sounds nice. So where’s the problem?” He sounded confused.

“Well his band mate, Alex, likes me too. He kissed me and I pushed him away. But it get worse, Alex then walks in on my and Zack kissing, then proceeded to call me a whore and get into it with Zack. It just turned into a disaster. Please tell me what to do. I’m so confused right now.” I said. I was getting frustrated just thinking about the situation.

“That is a problem.” Craig said seriously.

“I know it is. Please tell me you have some sort of advice for me?” I begged him.

“Well first how do you feel about both of them?” He asked me.

“I really like Zack but I don’t want to hurt Alex.” I told him honestly.

“Sometimes you need to put your feelings in front of other peoples. You have put other people’s feelings in front of your own since you meet Josh. I don’t want to see you get hurt again but I think that you should just jump into this instead of testing the water and taking it slow. You might find it quite rewarding.” I could tell Craig knew what he was talking about. Although he didn’t have a girlfriend at the moment, he had a lot more experience than I did.

“How do you always know the right thing to say?” I asked hale joking, half serious.

“Because I know you, and I know what I’m talking about.” He said seriously.

“So when am I going to get to come visit you on tour?” I asked him. “Its been way to long since I have seen you.”

“Well I might have a surprise for you but I have to check on a few things first. I will call you when I know more.”

“What are you planning?” I knew he had something up his sleeve but I wasn’t exactly sure what it entitled.

“Can’t tell you that but I’ll talk to you soon.” He said quickly. “Call Zack and remember, just jump in.”

“Fine but if this doesn’t work, you get to deal with me when I’m and emotional mess.” I threatened.

“And I’ll do it with pleasure. I love you!”

“Love you too!” I said and hung up my phone.

As I sat there thinking about what our conversation had helped me with, I realized that he was right. Even with Josh I slowly wadded in and that could have been why he went behind my back. I knew I had to just take a chance with Zack. It was time for me to put my feelings in front of everyone else’s. I needed to take the leap for me and forget that Alex may get hurt in the process.

I couldn’t wait to see what Craig was planning either. He always knew just how to surprise me and most of the time it was something small and unexpected, so I knew it was going to be good.

I picked up my phone and looked through my contacts for the second time today. I hesitated when I got to the name. Craig’s voice echoed in my head and I didn’t hesitate a second longer. I pressed call and stuck the phone to my ear to hear it ring twice and then someone pick up.

“Hello?” the voice asked.

“Hey. When is the next time you are free so we can meet up and talk?” I asked him he would say right now.