Guess What He Loves Me

After the wedding i said goodbye to all the people who i had met today. I drove home to my house. Shockingly my family still lived there. "Hey mom. I'm home."

"Hey darling, did you have fun at the wedding?" She said coming out of the kitchen with a towel in her hands.

"No. All i could think about was Ben. I think i know how he felt now. I saw a bunch of his old friends and mine too. But i just couldn't concentrate."

"Baby, its OK. He'll come back soon."

"No he wont mom!" I said starting to cry. "I talked to Austin and he said that they think he wont be coming back anytime soon. How long will it be this time? Will he even come back if we tell him that I'm dead? That they pulled the plug!"

"Now Jess, please." Oh god, the nickname. "Just calm down. Don't you think you are a little overreacting?"

"No! He's never coming back! He still loves me, sure. But how is he supposed to know that I'm alive! He knew that the deadline was yesterday. He probably thinks I'm dead right now."

"Well then me might come back."

"The keyword right there was might." I said going upstairs to my room. It was exactly the way i left it. Dust on everything. My phone was sitting on my nightstand. It had dust all over it. Did it still work? Did my mom really pay the phone bill all those times hoping i would need it? I picked it up and hit the Clear button. I had 72 text messages, 102 missed calls, and 42 voice mails. Most of them from Ben. I deleted the other ones that weren't from him.

"Hey Jessie. Its Ben again. I still cant believe you are in a coma. I hope you don't stay there long. I miss you so much. Just remember, I'll always love you. Even if they pull the plug. I'll never marry anyone besides you. Please, wake up!" Thats how most of the messages were. Some were of him crying saying he couldn't take it anymore. The last one made me cry. He was crying. "Jessie. you only have a couple of weeks left before its too late. Babe, please wake up. You know you want to. Please! I cant live without you. I cant take this anymore. I'm leaving town for awhile. I'll be back 2 days after your deadline is over. Either I'll see you again, or I'll be saying goodbye as they lower you into the ground. Either way, i love you. Forever." I started to cry as i sat my phone back down on the stand. I got up and looked threw my closet and all my drawers. Everything, and i mean everything, was how i left it. The pictures of me and Rachel, me and Ben, and pictures of Rachel and Jake were still there. It was like no one had been in here since i went to the movies that night. The clothes were still on the floor. My remote was still on my bed, which was still a mess.

"Why? Why couldn't you have stayed, just a couple of more weeks! Wait a minute!" I was thinking out loud now. "He said he would be back, tomorrow!" Son of a bitch! I better get ready! I get to see him again. But what to wear?