She Was Something Special

I was sitting on the grass, leaning against a tree with my eyes closed. It’s been the third day since I haven’t spoken with Scott because of our fight, and it was killing me. Sure thing he was annoying most of the time, but he was the guy that would listen to you and be there with you when you needed him. Plus, he was the one that offered me to join the band. Gah.

Suddenly, I felt someone was standing in front of me. I opened my eyes while I was hoping to see Scott, but my hope immediately vanished when I saw Sisky was bending down at me, his eyes watching me. I looked away.

“I need to talk to you,” he said. I glanced at him and stood up, but my eyes were glued to the ground. “Please, listen to me, Alanna.”

I nodded slowly, gulping; I knew what he would say.

“I’m miserable without you. I know this sounds so cheesy, but you’re the sunshine of my life. And I’m gonna steal a line from Boys Like Girls; your voice was a soundtrack of my summer, and it still is. I’m gonna say it now… Please listen to me, okay?” I nodded heavily, shutting my eyes tightly. “I know you’re with Gabe and I won’t ask you to be my girlfriend again, but I love you so much, Alanna. I really do.”

I gulped hard and dared myself to look up at him. And I did. “Sisky—I… I…” I began to stutter. “I gotta go,” I said and left.

I was taking wide steps and walking hurriedly to the busses. I slammed into someone’s chest and I looked up, seeing Scott’s dark eyes.

He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off by wrapping my hands around his waist and buried my face in his chest. I was relieved by the fact that he put an arm on my lower back while the other was stroking my back.

“You’re not crying… right?” he asked. I shook my head slowly. Finally he was talking to me again. “Mind telling me what’s going on, doll?”

“Not yet,” I choked out. “Where’s Bill? I really need to talk to him,” I said after releasing the hug.

He shrugged. “The last time I saw him was he was in his bus… but it was an hour ago.”

“Okay, thanks. And by the way, I’m sorry of what I said a few days ago.”

“Don’t think about it,” he said, bending down to kiss my cheek. I smiled and left, looking for William.

Again, I slammed into someone’s chest. I looked up and it was Gabe.

“Hey, I was looking for you,” he smiled.

I shook my head. “Where’s Bill? I really need to talk to him,” I repeated of what I said to Scott. I realized that I was holding back my tears when I saw him. Maybe because I knew that Sisky loves me and Gabe doesn’t…

His face looked puzzled, but then he answered, “He’s with our band mates, and with FNB in your bus. What happened?” Great, he noticed the tone of my voice. Wait, who wouldn’t? It was cracking.

“I’ll tell you later,” I said, rushing into my bus. “William,” I said when I got inside and everyone had their eyes on me. I ignored their stares and continued, “I want to talk to you… please?”

He nodded before standing up. He grabbed my wrist and we went into the back of the bus. He closed and locked the door and we sat on the couch.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Sisky told me he loves me…”

“And what did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything. I left him by saying that I gotta go.”

“Do you love him too?”

I thought for a while, and I nodded, knowing that I couldn’t lie to my brother.

“Then why don’t you just say it! Is it because of Gabe?”

I shook my head. “It has nothing to do with Gabe, I swear…”

“I don’t understand. I mean, he loves you and you have the same feeling with him—“

“Sisky is a dad.”

“Nice joke.”

“No, I’m serious,” I said, tears starting to well up my eyes. “Do you remember Melissa, my best friend when I was still in Illinois?”

He thought for a moment before nodding.

“She told me t-that she was having Sisky’s baby… s-so I stay away from Sisky so t-they could r-raise the baby…” This time the tears were streaming down my cheeks.

“No way. Sisky is not a dad!”

I shook my head.

“Alanna, you know how much Melissa wanted him! She would do anything to have him!”

“She’s my best friend—“

“No, she is not. What kind of best friend that would lie to their best friend?! I never saw Sisky or Melissa talking or going out together! I never see Melissa had a huge stomach, or holding a baby! You’re the best friend!”

I sobbed.

“Melissa lied to you, okay?”

I nodded.

“There, no more problems. Now go to Sisky and—“

“T-That’s not it.”

“What?”

“D-Do you remember Dimitri?”

Dimitri was Sisky’s closest cousin and best friend, but he died a month before I left to Milwaukee.

“Of course… What about him?”

“I… I…”

“What is it?”

“I killed him.”