She Was Something Special

I pulled back and smiled. I always wanted to do that in a fucking long time. I missed how those lips tasted like, and they haven’t changed a bit. I loved it.

His mouth kept opening and closing, like a fish out of water. Seemed like he wanted to say something but nothing came out.

“Miss how mine tasted like? ‘Cos I missed how yours tasted like,” I whispered next to his ear.

“I did – I, um – You’re – You – You –“

“Stop stuttering,” I giggled and slapped his arm jokingly before walking off. He followed me.

“Why did you kiss me?”

“I told you I’m still crazy about you,” I blurted out.

“But… how about Gabe?”

“I like him a lot – and how I feel toward you is different. It’s way bigger than like.”

He stared at me. “I love you.”

“I lo—“

He placed his finger on my lips. “Save it. I don’t want to hear it from a taken girl,” he smiled painfully and walked off.

I fluttered my eyes open as I heard voices from the front part of the bus. I checked my sidekick to see what time was it. Who the heck is still awake at… 2.54 in the morning? Well, it would be definitely me if I wasn’t on tour.

“…What’s wrong with her? I mean she’s all weird and stuff at me when she got home from Starbucks yesterday afternoon.” Gabe’s voice, murmuring.

I didn’t hear clearly what the second person said. “…Give her time and she’ll…” Oh, Scott’s.

They were talking about me. Gabe was worried of my sudden change of act toward him. I threw my feet over my bunk and let them hung loosely for a while until I hopped down carefully so I won’t be waking up the others. Making sure that no one woke up because of it, I tip-toed to the front part of the bus. My eyes squinted as the lights hit my face.

I looked at the couch. Scott and Gabe were sitting there. Gabe was wearing a hoodie and a pair of pants and Scott wore nothing but a pair of boxers.

“Sorry, did we wake you?” Gabe asked concernedly, making me to feel even guiltier.

I shook my head. “I want to talk to Gabe… please?” I said, looking at Scott.

He nodded before standing up and walked to the bunks. He ruffled my already messy hair when he walked pass through me. I went to Gabe and sat next to him.

“Gabe… I like you, I really, really do,” I said carefully, looking into his eyes. They didn’t look tired; they seemed dark but shimmery. You know, like a starless but bright night? Yeah, something like that. “But we can’t work out…”

“Why?” he choked out.

I gulped, looking down to his hands that were on his lap. I placed my hands on them. “I’ve let you down. I never made you happy and you know that; you’re just really good at hiding it. I know how you look at me – it gives me warmth but I look at you like I’m distant… do you know what I mean?” He nodded slowly. I looked up.

“I like you, Gabe. But we can’t be more than friends. I love somebody else.” I spoke the last sentence like barely above whisper, but he heard it. “I’m so sorry. I’m so stupid.”

“No, I’m actually really happy. You’re being so honest to me. I couldn’t tell the truth if I were you,” he said, holding my hands and lifted them up, kissing the tip of my fingers.

“You deserve better than this,” I said.

He smiled warmly at me before letting my hand go and hugged me.

“We’re still friends, right?” I hoped.

“Of course,” he laughed lightly and kissed my head and released the hug. “Good night.”

“Actually, it should be good early morning.”

He laughed. “Okay. Good early morning then,” he said before standing up and left the bus.

I sighed, letting my back fell against the couch.

“Yay for honesty,” Scott said and sat next to me. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt now.

I rested my head on his shoulder. “Things won’t get awkward between Gabe and I… right?”

“I can’t guarantee that. It will, though. For a while.”

“A part of me feels so guilty but the other part feels so relieved.”

“That’s life; there are bad and good parts in everything.”

We stayed like that, until we both fell asleep. After falling asleep for a few minutes, I woke up because of the coldness and went to my bunk to grab a blanket and went back. I sat back next to Scott and continued sleeping with my head on his shoulder after I threw the blanket over us.