Baby I've Got My Eye On You

“Well, what would be the point in you buying me a drink? Like I said, I have the advantage of been able to get drinks for free.” I was trying to build my self a little extra self esteem, given that I wasn’t to confident about both being here in the first place, or having such a conversation with Syn. It was working a little: I was just about managing to disguise my hopelessness.
“Was that… that was just orange juice wasn’t it?” Syn said licking his lips in slight confusion after he’d downed my drink.

Well, my attempt to be cocky and cool just sank deep into the ocean.

“Uhm… yes.” I admitted, “I’m not drinking tonight.”
“Why?”
“I don’t really drink that much, I mean…obviously I do, but not recently….”
“Why what you do? Get drunk and embarrass yourself in front of a seriously hot guy?”
Cocky shit.
“Nah. I just want to be on my toes in case someone a hundred years older than me tries to make a move”
“Ouch babe” he laughed.
“Oh! I’m sorry I was just joking.” I was actually seriously worried I’d pissed him off, or that I’d taken my attempt of been arrogant too far.
He laughed.
“Yeah I know. Does it really bother you or not?” he said seriously.
Well that put me on the spot a bit. But I just told the truth. I didn’t even think about it.
“No. I don’t think so”
“Good”
“Who are you here with?” I asked, out of something to say.
“Well I’m with…” he seemed to think about it for a while, “…just a few friends”
“Oh. Where are they?”
He smirked, looking actually a bit embarrassed for once, then pointed to a group of guys across the club, covered in tattoos and majoritivly muscular. Some of them looked more worse for wear than others.
“They look like they’d be your friends” I laughed, as did he.
“Do you want to dance?” he asked, catching me off guard. Yes, I really want to dance. My heart said it but my brain was much to shy and my legs were much too clumsy.
“Uh…well” I started, trying to think of an excuse but failed terribly. “Syn I don’t really know how to dance.”
“Don’t be silly” I felt him place a hand on my waist, gently pushing me closer to the dance floor, where we became much closer, so much so are bodies were almost touching.
“Everyone knows how to dance,” he said “You just don’t realise you know until you’re doing it.”
I raised an eyebrow, but soon realised that he was infact correct: we were slowly grinding to the music and I hadn’t even realised. I smile played about on my lips and looking up at him his looked to be doing the same.
I was snapped out of my sentamentalisation of the moment when a tall guy, one that I recognised as one of Syn’s friends, came over and patted him on the shoulder.
“Nice Job, Synyster” he said before staggering over to the bar.
I flushed a little, but then became genuinely intrigued.
“What is this name you have? It’s very peculiar”
“It’s just a nick name I suppose” He laughed.
“Well what’s your real name?”
“You’ve asked me this before”
“But you didn’t tell me.”
He smiled, bringing me closer towards him so that my head was in the crook of his neck.
“Only really special people get to know secrets like that” He whispered.
“Well” I said in mock offence, “If I’m not ‘special’ then I may aswell leave”
“Roz” he laughed, “We both know you’re not going anywhere.”
I nodded in defeat.
“But I should really go find my sister” I said, backing away from him a little. I didn’t want to, I don’t even know why I did. I was screaming at myself inside my head for doing so. What are you doing you idiot?

My feet felt clumbsy and awkward as I dashed away from Synyster, who was left confused and likely thought I was completely psycotic: I hadn't really been making a good impression since our exchange of names and numbers, it seemed as though I had been much more comfortable having a lack of an identity to him. I missed being Lady Ambiguity; now I had been exposed and I was incredably unsure of it and detested the fact that Syn seemed to have the skill of seeing right through me, therefore making everything I did cringe-worthy. I didn't feel like I was worth his time and yet he kept finding me, and I was making a complete and utter mess of every oppertunity to impress him.

Finding Beth proved difficult. She was such a light weight that as her sister I knew that she was well on her way to not been able to remain vertical before we'd even got to Tommy's. I rushed to the back room to find that they weren't there; I noticed Tommy's jacket had disappeared from the back of his chair where it usually stayed all night. This was not a good sign. I was worried they had left without me.

"Are you allowed in here?" I heard a voice behind me, causing me to jump and jolt my body to face the direction of the red painted doorway, to see Syn standing there, looking around the room curiously.

"Yes. Well No. Um... I just came to see if Beth was in here thats all" I stuttered out.

He looked around again.

"She's not here" he summerised.

"Yes, I noticed"

"So you can come back now" he stated.

"Well... yes but... I don't know" I muttered confused of myself and what I wanted to do, or rather what I should do. "It's not..uhm..I don't really know what uhm..."

"Roz..." He said quietly, placing his hands on my hips. I looked up at him, his very look just stopped any words escaping my mouth; his touch made me feel small in comparison to his big hands. "...Just calm down" he finished, laughing quietly, more to himself I guess.

His words did nothing of thier intended effect; if anything they made me feel more nervous, due to the fact he knew I was nervous.

His hands traced down my back and rested on my backside, pushing us closer together, our faces inches from eachother.

"What are you so worried about?" he laughed gently, brushing my brown hair away from my face. It was a terreble shade of brown: not even a mouse brown. Rat brown. It was like a plain and nasty rat brown.

"I don't know" I replied. I did know. He was much to gorgeous for me to handle.

"I don't think you should worry about things that you can't find a reason for" he said and I nodded, although I hadn't a clue, actually.

My hands seemed to have suddenly invested in an individual brain seperate from the rest of me, as they suddenly travelled up and rested around his neck, without my permission. I'm not sure I gave my lips permission to kiss him either. But they did, and for a moment all my insecurities just seemed to wash away. He lifted me up without breaking the kiss, and sat me on Tommy's raised desk to give me more height. Everything seemed perfect, not at all like getting with a near-to-stranger classification, older guy in the back of a club. And it would have stayed that way to both of us, had we thought to lock the door. We were interupted by a short 'ahem' from the doorway, yet unlike the last time I gazed upon the person standing there, the visitor was not someone I secretly hoped to see. It was Beth, and she did not look very impressed about how I'd preoccupied myself while she was away.