I'll Take My Chances With You

I woke the next afternoon, my head on top of something. I couldn’t fully register what it was; I hadn’t even opened my eyes. My neck hurt, I started moving an arm to feel around and I felt a leg, then I started going up the leg when a hand, a slightly larger hand grabbed my own,

“You don’t want to do that Frankie.”

I finally opened my eyes and saw the Way’s living room and part of Gerard Way’s knee. I sat up, yanking my hand out of his and just stared. I smelt something,

“Mikes, he’s up!”

I heard a clank and then a few footsteps and then a screech as Mikey skidded into the room.

“Just so you know, I remember everything, and you’re a fool if you think that’ll change anything. I don’t want to burn breakfast so I’m going back in. Good Morning!”

He smiled and then ran back into the kitchen where he was apparently making us breakfast, at, oh, 1pm in the afternoon.

“Good morning Frankie.”

“Good morning.”

“Your eye looks a little better.”

He reached out for my cheek again,

“And I meant what I said.”

He leant towards me and said quietly,

“I won’t let your dad hurt you again. Not while you’re here. He can’t get you.”

I felt his lips touch mine gently and then just as quickly he moved back and got up and went into the kitchen.

I couldn’t believe I just had my first kiss with Gerard Way; the one boy whom I wanted to be my first kiss. Things seemed to be going my way for the past few hours, then the phone rung. It was my mother. She wanted me home. I went into the kitchen after I took the phone in the living room,

“I’ve got to go home; my mom wants me home. Says dad’s in a fit and they need to see me.”

Mikey looked up at me,

“You’ll come by later though right?”

I nodded, “I’ll try.”

Gerard just walked out of the room. Mikey started speaking quietly,

“Frank, I, I saw you and Gee last night, you asleep on the couch, on, on his lap. He’d never, he’d, he’d never hurt you.”

I just looked at him and he went back to his waffles, he didn’t want to burn them. He could make some mean waffles though.

“I’ll see you later Mikey.”

I walked out towards the door to notice Gerard standing in front of the door with his arms crossed.

“Mikey wants me to come back later; I told him I’ll try.”

He looked down and then back up to me, his arms dropped and he let out a breath he seemed to be holding.

“Frankie, I, I want to go with you, I, I don’t have a good feeling about you going home, not this time. I, I’m afraid for you. If, if something happened to you, Mikey would go crazy, he needs you, you’re his best friend, and, and I, I’d be a little crazy too. I, I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you, I’m not, I’d never hurt you intentionally, I’d prefer to never hurt you at all, I, I’ve begun to care for you.”

I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. Was he saying he likes me?

“I, I, I, thank you Gee. I’ve got to go though, it’ll just be worse the longer I stay away. I’ll be back later though, I told Mikey I would be. I’ll be fine.”

He gave me a weak smile and opened the door for me. He pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead and let me go. The walk home was the most nerve wracking I’d had in a while. I didn’t know what to expect, a happy dad, a drunken mom, an angry dad, a sober mom, I didn’t know. I couldn’t get the kiss out of my head though. It was so soft, yet so perfect. I stared up the walk to my house, I didn’t know what to expect and that scared me. I’m usually a bit apprehensive to come home, but not when my mother calls and tells me to come home now. I started walking up the walk when the front door opened and there stood my mom and dad.

“Frank! Why did you just run off like that? Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been about you? You spend way too much time over at that, that house! I’m afraid spending time over there has clouded your mind. You’re just confused because that woman allows her son to have any lifestyle he so chooses and, well; we’ve decided to get you help. You’re going to confession right now, go up and get changed, something presentable, none of that garbage you normally wear.”

What?! Where do they come up with this stuff?

“Mom, I, I’m fine, I’m not clouded, and Mrs. Way surely doesn’t let Gerard have any lifestyle, she scolded him this morning.”

“Frank, you heard your mother, now upstairs, now.”

“Yes sir.”

I made my way to my room. What were my parents thinking, spending time with Gerard made me gay?! Now I have to go to confession, I haven’t been to confession since I was 15 and that was for the time I stole my mom’s car to get some ice cream. I didn’t even speed nor crash it. I just drove without a permit is all. If they want a confession they’ll get one.

The car ride was so silent you would think that we were driving to a funeral. The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. I noticed mom wore black today, covering up her bruise no less, which reminded me,

“Mom, how’s your shoulder?”

I saw her tense up and my father turned to me, she was driving just to get to my confession safely.

“She’s fine Frank, see that eye of yours went down a little, it’s not so black and blue, and perhaps now you should put on some of that make-up you’re always so keen on wearing.”

“Now you want me to wear make-up? Why? So when I go in and see this stupid preacher man that I won’t tell him my father beat me because I’m his gay son? Is that it? Besides, I left last night with the clothes on my back to the only house that feels like a home to me.”

I heard my mother gasp as I said that, I didn’t care at the moment. They were already bent out of shape I preferred rock to the garbage they called music. We appeared the perfect family though, always smiling and happy. I never got into trouble, with the exception of that time with mom’s car, and my parents always seemed so loving. Yeah right, that’s always beyond closed doors—not behind. No one knows what goes on in my house, how much yelling is done, mostly at me, well no one except Mikey and his mom. I’m sure Gerard knows he and Mikey talk about everything.

After my outburst the tension just got thicker. We finally made it to church; I was looking forward to this actually. It’ll feel really good to get the truth out about my parents to someone else, someone who would probably die of a heart-attack if he knows what my parents were really like. I watched as my father got out and opened the door for my mother and helped her out; the picture of perfection. I watched as they waved to their church friends and heard as their peers whispered, “that family is always so happy” or “that family is the picture of perfection.” It made me sick how many people thought my family was so perfect. We walked in and I noticed that the preacher man ushered us in and over to where I was to make my confession.

“Hello Frank, it’s been a long while, shall we get started then?”

He smiled and waved off my parents, I watched as they took a seat on a bench and I was lead into the confession area. I stepped into the little box and sat down where I’m supposed to and waited for the old man to open his little slot.

“So I hear your parents are worried about you Frank? They say you’re being clouded by a friend of yours?”

“No, I’m sorry but my parents don’t even know my friends, they’re afraid of them. They think that they can just send me in here and talk to you and everything will be perfect again. Did my parents tell you what happened last night?”

“Yes, yes they did. Your father called and asked that I meet with you today, he said you told them you thought yourself as a homosexual.”

“He did, did he also tell you that he beat me before he called you. I have six bruises; you couldn’t have missed the one that’s bruised around my eye. You can also ask my dad about the bruise on my mom’s shoulder, he did that one too. I don’t need to be here sir, I don’t think I’m being clouded by my friends, my friends are the only thing I’ve got that resemble a family. My parents hate me, I’m a failure to them, always have been, they think I listen to the Devil’s music, well if I do, I love it, I play it, and I play it well. The only people that have clouded me over has been my own parents sir, making choices for me, no wonder they think I have so many issues.”

“Now Frank, you shouldn’t speak of you parents like that. They only do what’s best for you, they only want what’s best for you.”

“Beating me is best for me? I’m turning 17 in a few months, my father has been hitting me since I was 14, sir, almost 3 years of abuse and apparently it’s good for me. You’re wasting my time and I’m sure I’m wasting yours. Thank you and good day.”

I walked right out of that stupid little booth, I hate small spaces anyways. I heard the preacher man’s door open and I looked to see a scandalized look on his face, I walked right up to my parents and told them to take me home right now or I’ll yell in the church that my dad beats me. Most will assume the bruise on my eye is from a fight, it was, just with my dad and I couldn’t hit back. I heard my mom utter apologies and I just walked right out to the car and got in. I knew something was going to happen when I got home; nothing can’t not happen, not after that stunt I’d pulled. I waited in the backseat and then after we pulled out of the parking lot, that’s when it happened. My dad reached back and back handed me across the face.

“What the hell do you think you’re playing at Frank?”

“I’m not playing at anything. One of these days I swear you’re going to kill me, then what? You’ll be thrilled your screw up son isn’t alive anymore? You’ll throw a party and invite everyone over to sympathize with your fake perfect family that’s been ruined by such a tragedy. You’ll probably tell everyone someone beat me up so badly you almost couldn’t recognize my mangled body!”

I could feel the tears prick at my eyes, and he noticed them too.

“You are going to cry now aren’t you? That’s what fags do don’t they? Cry when things get tough?”

“MOM! You’re just going to let him talk to me like that? You just let him anyways; you’re going to get wasted so you don’t have to recollect what happens in your own house! He hit you! He hit you and you won’t do a thing about it!”

“STOP IT!!! JUST STOP IT!!! FRANK, you shut up, we’ll talk about this when we get home, and we’re almost there.”

My mom’s never yelled before, she’s gotten loud, but she’s never yelled.

As soon as the door was shut I felt a hand collide with the back of my head. I stumbled forward,

“You stupid idiot! What do you think you’re doing telling that damn preacher I hit you huh? Think it’ll solve your problems? Get you out of here?”

This time his fist collided with my ribcage and I fell to the floor. Wrong move, he foot kicked me in the side and gasped for air. Another wrong move and I ended up lying on the ground. His foot collided with my head at one point and I got a bit dizzy. I could feel the blood in my mouth, the taste of copper and a thick liquid; I think he broke a rib too. I tried to gasp out “stop” but I couldn’t. It hurt so much. I heard my mother yell at my dad to stop and he did, that shocked me. I tried to get up, it hurt too much, but I had to, I had to get up and out of my door, back to Mikey’s house. I was safe there. I could feel the blood had run down my chin and onto my shirt, I had a few cuts and scratches and a few new bruises but I had managed to crawl out the door.

Once on my porch I tried to stand up, it took me a few tries but I got up and steadied myself; I could still hear my parents yelling at each other. Mikey’s house was only a five minute walk; I could probably make it in 10 minutes in my current condition. I noticed two guys that Gerard hangs out with walking by and I yelled “Help!” The one with the fro saw me and he and the other guy came over to me.

“You’re Mikey’s friend! Where do you need to go? We’ll help you out?”

“Take me to Mikey’s house, I, I can’t go home, my, my dad did this.”

The blonde guy muttered, “That’s just disgusting, who does that to their own kid?”

I felt both of them grab me by my arms and support me.

They walked right in when we got there, “Gee, Mikes! Hurry, we need help!”

I noticed Gerard came around the corner and then he froze,

“What happened? Mikey’s out he won’t be back for another hour or so. Ray, Bob, thanks, I’ll take him from here, and he’ll be fine, good luck guys!”

They wished me to get better and said their thanks to Gerard.

“Oh Frankie, your dad did this to you?”

I nodded the best I could. He carried me into the living room and laid me on the couch, I watched as he went to the kitchen and heard cabinets slamming and water running. He came back in a few moments later with a large bowl of hot water and a few wash cloths. He began to wipe my face, so gently. I saw his eyes water,

“Gee, I’m okay, I am, really.”

He just nodded and kept cleaning me up.

“I’ll need to take off your shirt to clean you up and see what needs bandaging and ice.”

I nodded and he helped sit me up. He gently removed my shirt, not exactly how I pictured him first seeing me half naked, but circumstances arose and it’s necessary. I don’t know how I could be remotely joking in my head at a time like this.

“I told you I had a bad feeling about you going home alone, I shouldn’t have let you go alone.”

He walked away and came back with a few bandages to wrap around my torso. He sat me back up while he wrapped me.

“I failed on my word, I told you I wouldn’t let him hurt you again and now look at you. I’m so sorry Frankie, I’m so sorry.”

“Gee, no worries, I’m alright now. You’re here and you’ve helped me out. I don’t know and don’t want to know what would’ve happened to me if I hadn’t seen your two friends. I probably owe them my life.”

I grinned to show that I was alright, he looked slightly hurt; I brought my hand up to his cheek,

“Gee, thank you. I feel safe here, I always have, now even more so.”

He gave me a small smile, “Good, at least I got you to crack a small one.”

He looked down at my torso and then back up at me, “You know, this isn’t how I pictured seeing you without a shirt on.”

I smiled, “Me neither.”

He leant in and gently kissed me again. His lips were so soft yet he used just enough force to make me want more. I moaned, in pain, unfortunately, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, no it’s alright; I just have to take it easy.”

He rearranged some pillows on the couch and leaned back on them and then gently lay me down on his chest. I smiled up at him, “So what does this make us?”

“Well Frankie, it can make us whatever you want us to be. If you want to be my boyfriend, then you’re my boyfriend, which I’m hoping is the case because I don’t just get all caring for anyone.”

He smirked at me, I just smiled.

“Well then, Gerard Way will you be my boyfriend?”
He looked as if he was pondering for a moment, “I guess so Frank Iero, I mean, there are so many options, you’re lucky I chose to accept your offer.”

He smiled at me and then pulled me closer and put his arms around me. I felt at home in his arms. I felt safe, like nothing could hurt me if I was with him. I felt myself get suddenly tired, beatings do that to me, they make me tired fast and I felt myself drifting off to sleep.

I woke to the shrill cry of surprise when Mrs. Way came home to find a bandaged and bruised me, lying on her son, whilst my bloodied shirt was on the floor.

“Oh, I’m sorry Frankie dear, just startled is all. Gerard is Mikey back yet?”

“Here I am mom! I had to go and return some games and get some new ones. Frank you alright?”

I noticed the arms that were around me loosened quite a bit and helped me sit up, “I’m alright, erm, Bob and Ray, right, yeah, I saw them and yelled for help after I got out of my house and they helped me over. Gee cleaned me up and bandaged me up all nice.”

Mrs. Way came over and kissed my head, “Thank goodness you’re alright Frankie dear, I’ll have to make Ray and Bob a cake each, I’ll get your shirt washed up in no time. Did you have confession today?”

I looked down at my trousers and my button up shirt, “Yes ma’am.”

Gee hadn’t said much since everyone came into the room.

“Mom, Mikes, I, I want to tell you all something.”

He looked at them and they both gave him a small nod as to keep going, what was he going to do, “I, I’m dating Frank.”

Mikey grinned and Mrs. Way just smiled, “Well it’s about time you two, took a lot longer than expected. Well, I’m happy, it’s a bit late, and I’ll get dinner on. Frank you just relax and feel better.”

She bustled into the kitchen and Mikey moved to sit in the chair opposite Gee and me. Gee and me, that has a nice ring to it, I like it.

“Mom owes me twenty bucks because of you guys, she thought you’d be together at least three months ago, I told her it would be this month.”

“You made a bet on your best friend?”

“You made a bet on your brother?”

“What!? Mom did too!”

We just laughed; I did the best I could till it hurt. I winced and Mikey and Gee noticed, “Are you alright?”

I nodded and leaned back on Gee, it was so comforting to feel him against me. I felt his arms enclose around me again and I smiled over at Mikey.

“Well as sickeningly sweet as you guys look, you’re making me lose my appetite and I’m kind of hungry. I’ll bring you guys out some food when mom’s done.”

He got up and I heard him go into the kitchen and help his mom make us dinner.

“You really had confession? Why? You haven’t had one since you were 15.”

I smiled, “Well you see, mom and dad think your house is clouding my mind, she thinks you’ve clouded my mind. You haven’t though; you’ve made me open my mind to what it was my parents were doing to me.”

I felt his arms tighten around me and his lips press against my cheek, I turned slightly so that our mouths would meet. We kissed again and this time I’m sure he felt what I felt when he first touched me.