Just to Hold You Close and Tight

When I woke up, I groaned, “Turn off the lights!”

“Sorry,” Ray said cheerfully. “That’s the sun.”

My eyes shot open. I instantly closed them again, because the sunlight was so strong. “You stayed?”

“Against my better judgment,” he replied. “It’s not healthy to want me to stay the night… And I still felt like a stalker.”

I covered my face with the blanket until Ray closed my blinds. “Did you at least enjoy yourself?” I asked groggily.

Ray smiled shyly. “Yes. You’re much more adorable when you’re sleeping than the sky is interesting.”

I blushed. “Er, thanks, I think.” I looked at the clock. It was almost eleven. “Holy crap! I slept in!”

“Didn’t you expect that?” he asked.

I shrugged, saying, “I hadn’t really thought about it. Are my parent home?”

Ray shook his head.

“So…” I said, getting out of bed. “What are we doing today? Petting tigers?”

This made Ray laugh. “Oh, come on. Feeding deer is not that dangerous. Actually, I thought we could do something normal, like see a movie if you want.”

I grinned. “That sounds better than petting tigers.”

“As normal as I can get,” he mumbled, so that I barely understood him. I don’t think I was meant to hear.

I sighed. “You know I don’t mind that you’re a ghost,” I said, although I wasn’t sure ghost was even the right word for him anymore.

“Yeah…” he said. “The movie’s at two. We’ll have to leave at one, so… I’ll leave you alone for a couple of hours.”

“Aw, come on. You stay while I’m sleeping, but leave as soon as I get up?”

The corners of his mouth turned up. “I can’t stay twenty-four/seven. There are certain times when people should be alone.”

To my great annoyance, he left without another word, before I could say goodbye. I knew he was right, though. I had neglected to check my emails, I hadn’t even called Chelsea or Gabby, and I needed to shower. I chose the latter to do first, and decided I would call my friends after I was ready to go out.

I tried to let the water wash my mind blank, but the effect of the water wasn’t as numbing as I had hoped. It only gave me time to think about how it seemed like Ray and I needed each other, or were more like destined to be together. Had out fate been so decided that it had cheated death? Did that mean I didn’t have a choice?

I knew I couldn’t ignore the way I felt, the feeling I had never really felt before. It was in the way we couldn’t stay away from each other. But didn’t I have a choice, or was everything already chosen for me? I didn’t like not being in control of my own life.

I got tired of letting my mind wander, so I shut off the water and got out.

I threw on a tee shirt and jeans, also grabbing a sweatshirt. I decided to check my email. I knew I was putting off calling my friends, but I couldn’t help it.

I had an email from each of my friends, but they were pretty much the same. They were both interested in Ray and asking me to call them.

Knowing I couldn’t put it off any longer, I picked up my phone and dialed Gabby’s number.

Basically, I was getting the worst out of the way first. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Gabby, but she was much more, well, nosy than Chelsea was.

“Hello?” It was Chelsea’s voice answering Gabby’s phone.

Oh, good, I thought. They’re together. I only have to deal with this once. “Hey, Chelsea,” I said energetically. I was happy to talk to them.

“Amber!” I heard both Chelsea and Gabby exclaim.