Just to Hold You Close and Tight

When I burst through my door, Ray was walking around my room. “Were you pacing?” I asked, almost laughing.

He froze. “Er… No?” He said it as more of a question.

I laughed. “Okay. Whatever you say.”

I watched as his expression changed from guilty to amused. “Okay. You caught me. I missed you.”

Smiling shyly, I replied, “Ditto.”

He wanted to know everything about my dinner, but I had no idea why he cared. He forced out every detail I could remember, until I was nearly falling asleep.

“You’re tired,” he stated. “I will go-”

“Don’t go,” I interrupted. I had thought I had won that battle.

“Let me finish,” Ray said in mock frustration. “I was going to say, before being so rudely interrupted, that I will leave for a few minutes so that you can get ready for bed. I’ll be back.”

“Oh, sorry,” I said, pleased. “Okay. I’ll see you soon. Do you promise to come back in five minutes?”

He frowned. Not the reaction I had been hoping for. However, he did say, “Okay, I promise.” Muttering to himself as he left, I made out the words, “Don’t think I could stay away even if I wanted to.”

I smiled as I quickly changed into my pajamas. I turned off my light and waited in bed.

After what seemed like hours, there was a quiet knock on my door. “Come in,” I said softly. I didn’t hear the door open so I knew it was Ray.

Hearing him sit in my chair, I said, “You don’t have to sit so far away.”

“I really should, though,” he replied gruffly. He sounded like he was debating with himself.

“Please>” I whispered.

I heard him sigh. My computer desk’s chair squeaked as he wheeled it to the side of my bed. He sat so that he was facing me, the back of the chair facing towards my feet. I rolled onto my stomach.

“If either of our parents saw us now…” he muttered without finishing his thought.

I rolled my eyes before closing them. “There’s nothing wrong with it.”

He placed his hand on my back, making me shiver. I only had a thin sheet over me, so I felt each finger. I sighed, satisfied, and fell asleep.

When I woke up, one of Rays hands was still on my back (through the sheet, of course). His cheek rested against the back of my hand. When he realized I was awake, though, he straightened up. Only his hand remained on my back.

I groaned, opening my eyes. “Why do you so that?” I asked irritably.

“Do what?” he asked, truly confused.

“Move farther away as soon as I wake up, as if I didn’t know you were there in the first place. As if I didn’t want you there… especially when I’m awake?” I replied. I looked at the clock, and found that I was up early. I could take my time.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I feel like I shouldn’t be there.”

I frowned. “I want you there.”

“I know,” he said, nodding. “I want to be there.”

I started to wonder if we were talking about him being close, or if we were talking about us in general. “Then you should be. So ha.” With that, I reluctantly got out of bed.

Ray smiled slightly, and then said he would meet me outside when I was ready to walk to school. I didn’t want him to leave, but I knew it was necessary. Even so, I don’t think I’d ever gotten ready as fast in my life.

I ignored my mom’s strange look, and choked down my bagel. I grabbed my backpack and rushed out the door.

Ray was waiting, as he had promised.