Just to Hold You Close and Tight

Each day seemed to pass slowly, but when a week had passed, I thought it had flown by. It was Tuesday, and I was allowed to go home, although I couldn’t go to school until Thursday. I also had to keep the stupid cast on my hand.

Despite this, the rest of me was pretty much healed. My back was fine, the bruise on my face was almost gone, and I could breathe without pain.

Ray had stood (or sat) by me loyally through the whole week, never leaving my side. We had learned a lot about each other. It was mostly just the stupid stuff that would have seemed pointless to outsiders, but mattered to us anyways. I hadn’t learned much about his past compared to what I told him about mine, but I never complained. I figured either he didn’t like to talk about it, or he didn’t want to. I didn’t mind.

I was wheeled to the car in a wheel chair, even though I insisted I didn’t need it. Ray sat in the back with me for the thirty minute drive. I was grateful, although there was no blanket or sheet to put in between our hands. I wished I could hold his; he was still nervous in the car. He stared at me the whole time. This time I wasn’t driving, so I could stare back.

My parents helped me up to my room. I lied and said I was tired, and then went straight to my computer. I had been worrying that my friends would wonder why I hadn’t contacted them, but I was afraid to ask my parents to call them when I was in the hospital, in case they said something about Ray. Had they guessed I would have been walking to school with Ray? Had I told them? I didn’t remember.

I immediately sent them the same email, explaining why I hadn’t called and what had happened. Then I spun around my chair to face Ray. He was sitting in my other chair.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, sounding unsure of himself.

“I feel fine,” I assured him, standing up. “I only wish I could go to school tomorrow. I’ve missed so much… and what am I supposed to do here?”

He smiled slightly, saying, “You have me.”

“True,” I allowed. “Will you help me catch up in school?”

“Of course,” he said.

I stood for a second, trying to grasp the question that evaded me. I almost knew what it was. It was driving me crazy. Finally, I stroked the raised scar on my neck. I knew what was missing: my locket. “Ray?” I asked. “Do you still have my locket?”

He pulled a silver object out of his pocket. It glistened, and there was not blood on it. “I cleaned it for you,” he explained.

I raised my eyebrows, trying to think of a time he wasn’t with me. “When?”

“When you were in the bathroom,” he replied.

“I never heard you leave,” I grumbled.

His face fell. “I go through walls, remember? You’re not mad at me, are you? I figured you would be happy, but –”

“No, no, I’m not mad. Just surprised,” I assured him. Then I smiled sheepishly and said questioningly, “Help me put it on?”

He nodded looking tense when he got up… almost businesslike. It made me laugh. He looked at me oddly.

I turned around and held up my hair for him. When the cold locket touched my neck, I shivered. He clasped it quickly and let the chain fall.

When I turned around, he was very close. I wondered how he always seemed to appear places. Was it because he was a ghost, or was it just the way her was?

He took another step closer, so that we were almost touching. Or almost would have been touching. He picked up the locket and pressed it lightly to his lips.

I turned red, and the burning in my heart and throat flared. The burning in my throat prevailed, and a tear slipped from my eye simultaneously with the locket falling from his hand.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

I shook my head. It didn’t matter what he was apologizing for. Whether he was sorry for my tear, that he was a ghost, because he couldn’t kiss me, or all of the above, he didn’t need to be. He was instantly forgiven. No questions asked.

I tried to convey this message with my eyes. After whipping away my tear, I climbed into bed. I wasn’t really tired because it was noon, but that didn’t stop me. I had taken the sheet for granted when we were at the hospital.

Ray followed me silently, understanding. It wasn’t until I was under my blanket and curled into a ball that I let out my first sob.

He was immediately wrapped around me. I curled into his chest, heaving another sob.