Just to Hold You Close and Tight

I drove to school in silence. I didn’t have anything to say, and apparently neither did Ray.

I flung my backpack over my shoulder and got out of my car. Ray was next to me instantly.

A boy that seemed to be our age got out of the car beside mine. He had very dark brown hair that was fairly long. His brown eyes flickered toward me. When I expected him to ignore me, he stopped dead. He dropped his books, and his mouth fell open.

“That’s Ben,” Ray told me. “He was a great friend of mine. You’ll have to excuse his manners, though.”

“Uh…” I said. “Is there a problem?”

Ben was still frozen, his face white. It was making me uncomfortable. “Oh my God,” he said quietly. It was then that I noticed he wasn’t staring at me. He was staring at Ray.

I hesitated, glancing anxiously at Ray, before saying, “What is it?”

Ben didn’t even look at me. “Oh my God,” he repeated. “Ray?”

“What’s going on?” I squeaked. They both ignored me.

“You can’t really see me, can you Ben?” Ray asked. This annoyed me a little. The first time I saw Ray, he refused to even consider the fact that I could actually see him for quite a few minutes. So… was I assuming that Ben could see Ray?

He answered for me. “Aren’t you supposed to be dead?” his nonchalance amazed me.

Ray walked to the other side of me, and we both watched as Ben’s eyes followed him. Finally, Ray said, “Ben? I am dead. I’m a ghost.”

Ben’s eyes flickered to me for the first time. “Is she a ghost too?” he asked.

“No,” Ray replied.

Suddenly, the bell rang. All three of us jumped.

“Ben,” Ray said, “you probably think you’re imagining me, but you’re not. Please, meet us at the park at six. The park by my old house?”

Ben nodded, his face still paler than the whites of his eyes. We hurried into the school and off to my first class. I was late, and I couldn’t even think straight. This was impossible. Nobody could see Ray but me.

When I sat at lunch, I was still in a daze. Ray spoke for the first time since the morning. “This doesn’t make sense. He wasn’t able to see me before. Why can he see me all of a sudden?” he mused, mostly to himself.

I shrugged, but didn’t answer. I just stared off into space. My mind was so blank, I couldn’t have thought if I wanted to.

Through the rest of the day, all I could so was wonder what was awaiting us at the park.

It seemed like there had been no time at all between the predicament with Ben in the morning and me walking to the park with Ray. I probably couldn’t have remembered one detail from the time in between if my life depended on it.

“This is crazy,” Ray muttered at we got nearer to out destination. I shrugged again automatically in reply.

Ben was waiting on a bench. He watched us warily as we approached.

“Are you scared of me?” Ray asked, laughing.

Ben squared his shoulders and sat upright. “N-no,” he replied. Then he cracked a smile. “Is that really you?”

“In the flesh!” Ray exclaimed, but then he frowned. “Scratch that. It’s more like in the spirit.”

“So you’re really a ghost?” Ben asked eagerly, standing up.

“You were at my funeral, weren’t you?” Ray said. “I’m dead. And yet, here I am.”

Ben smiled, shaking his head.

“Let’s go into the woods,” Ray continued. “I know a place we can talk without being heard.” They started walking towards the path.

At that moment, I came out of my daze. It was probably the new feeling of jealousy that did it.

That’s right. I was jealous of Ben. Give me a break. I had plenty of reasons.

Reason one: Ben could see Ray. I didn’t like this at all, no matter how selfish it was. I was supposed to be the only one who could see him. We were so meant for each other that even death couldn’t separate us completely. Or, that’s how I though it was supposed to be.

Reason two: Ray was being totally himself. All the times I had to work to see the real him, and Ben opened him up right away. It was like he was a totally different person around Ben, his old friend, and this was the Ray I liked most, when he wasn’t ignoring me like he was now.

Reason three: I suspected that Ray was taking Ben to our place, the place where we looked at the stars. To me, Ben wasn’t welcome there.”

Grinding my teeth, I ran to catch up with them. How could I not?