Just to Hold You Close and Tight

“When you start o look too much like yourself, you’ll have to leave,” Ben said.

“Where would I go?” Ray asked.

“Where would we go,” I corrected.

Ben shrugged, saying, “I don’t know. You could probably go anywhere you wanted. I had a good amount of money saved up for college, and my parents have a lot of money. You’ll figure something out.” He was starting to look impatient.

“How much time do we have until I have to leave?” Ray asked.

“We,” I corrected again tiredly. The look he gave me was apologetic and weary.

“How should I know?” Ben said. “The little things will change first, like your hair color and eye color. Too bad we don’t look anything alike,” he commented.

Ray rolled his eyes. “I can see you’re impatient to leave. Is there anything else you need to tell us?”

“Not much,” he replied. “Until my body changed into yours, you’ll be able to remember things I did… that might help you a little.”

I wasn’t sure if it was just my eyes playing tricks on me, or if Ben was starting to… fade.

He grinned. “Time for me to leave. Good luck, you two.”

Ray looked up at him appreciatively. “Bye Ben. Thanks so much. I’ll never be able to tell you how grateful I really am.”

“It really wasn’t my choice,” Ben replied, “but you’re welcome.” Okay, he was definitely fading.

Ben turned to me. “Bye, Amber. I know I didn’t know you for very long, but we could have been…” he paused before continuing, “great friends.”

“I know,” I whispered. “I’m sorry too, but thank you.”

Then Ben faded into nothing, still smiling.

Ray and I were quiet for a long time. His arms held me in a comforting embrace. The only thing wrong was that I couldn’t hug him back. It was this thought that brought me to my feet. I couldn’t bring Ben back, but maybe I could soon hug Ray.

“Come on,” I said softly.

Ray stood, but he said, “We can’t go to the hospital until the morning. We can’t just show up there knowing he’s in a coma. You’ve got to call in the morning.”

I sighed. “You’re right.”

After a moment, I realized that he really wasn’t. “No,” I said. “I can’t go until the morning, but you could go now.”

Ray looked at me, eyebrows raised. Obviously, this had occurred to him, he just hadn’t said anything. “I could, but that would leave you to walk home, go to sleep, wake up, and go to the hospital alone.”

I thought for a second. “True,” I replied at last, “but if you wait, I won’t be able to see you right when you come out of a coma. If you go now, I might be able to see you in the morning.”

He looked deep into my eyes. “Tell me what you want.”

I wasn’t so sure what I wanted myself. I knew I didn’t want to be without him for any length of time, but I also knew that wasn’t possible. For him to be alive, I would have to make sacrificed. “Go now,” I said quietly. “I’ll miss you… I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

He draped the sheet around me. Then he hugged me tightly, lifting me off the ground. I didn’t struggle.

Setting me back on my feet, he said, “I’ll miss you too. I promise we will make everything right. I love you.”

His promise didn’t seem very plausible to me, but I wanted to believe it. “I love you too,” I whispered.

After brushing my locket with one finger, he ran off into the darkness.

I was alone.