Just to Hold You Close and Tight

I arrived at the hospital early Saturday morning. Mrs. Moore looked up from her magazine when I entered Ray’s room.

“Good morning Amber,” she said, smiling. She was starting to tolerate me, maybe even like me. I liked her too.

“Good morning Mrs. Moore,” I said cheerfully. I took my usual seat next to Ray.

Ray and Mrs. Moore’s eyes met. She nodded ever so slightly before getting up and saying, “I’ll leave you two alone.” Before I could answer, she was out the door.

I raised my eyebrows at Ray. “What was that all about?”

He shrugged, saying, “Nothing, really. I just convinced her it would be okay to leave us alone. I have some things I need to talk to you about.”

My stomach sank. This didn’t sound good at all. I swallowed. “What exactly do we need to talk about?” I asked, my voice quivering. I was afraid of his answer.

His eyes, which were now a murky ocean blue, were soft. “Oh, stop that. I can tell what you’re thinking, and you’re being pessimistic. I never said I had to talk to you about anything bad.”

“But you do, don’t you?” I mumbled, so sure of myself.

He hesitated before answering. “Well… yes, but I have to talk to you about something good, too. Would you like to hear the good news first?”

I nodded.

“I’ll be out of the hospital soon,” he said. “I’m healing very fast; almost too fast to be possible. I think that while my DNA is rewriting Ben’s it’s making me heal faster.

I smiled. “How soon?”

“In a few days,” he replied. This surprised me, and I was so excited I almost jumped out of my seat and hugged him. “Just in time, too,” he continued. “If I don’t dye my hair and get those contacts soon, Ben’s mom, at the least, will start to get suspicious.”

I frowned. I hadn’t forgotten that there was bad new. “So what’s the bad thing you needed to talk to me about?”

He sighed. “I’ll only be able to walk around school for a couple of weeks before people start to notice. I’ll have to leave.”

I dropped my eyes and said, “Where are we going?”

“I don’t know where I’m going or how I’m getting there, but you’re staying here.”

I froze. “You’re wrong. I’m going wherever you are. Don’t… don’t you want me to go with you?”

“Of course I do. You know that,” he replied, his eyes burning into mine. “I love you. That’s why I want you to stay here and at least finish high school.”

I glared at him, suddenly angry. “And what about you? You’re not just dropping out, are you?”

“Um… that’s what I was planning on doing.”

I exhaled angrily. “No you aren’t. Don’t you realize that once you leave, you won’t have any money but what Ben had? His parents won’t be supporting you after you run away.”

“I’m eighteen,” he said sourly. “It’s not running away. It’s moving out.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you won’t be getting any money from them,” I replied. I sighed, feeling sorry for Mrs. Moore. Even though she believed her son was alive, he wasn’t, and the person who took his place was going to abandon her. “What happens when you run out of money and you can’t get a decent job because you didn’t even finish high school?”

Ray started to rub his forehead with his palm in frustration. “Trust me; money won’t be a problem for a long time. Ben had a lot. I’m not sure where he got it all. However, I guess you’re right. It won’t last forever. Wherever I go, I’ll transfer high schools.”

I nodded and added, “We’ll transfer high schools.”

“I still think you should stay ere. You can’t just leave your parents for no reason. Where would we go?”

What if I had a reason and a place to go? I though. And right then it hit me. The answer had been right in front of out faces the whole time. How could I not have seen it? I started laughing hysterically so hard that I was crying.

“Are you okay?” he asked cautiously.

“Oh my God!” I exclaimed, ignoring his question. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before! I can’t believe you didn’t think of it!”

“What? What is it?” he asked eagerly. He must not have been as satisfied with his plan as he had led me to believe he was.

“It’s so simple,” I replied. “I tell my parents I absolutely hate it here. That I despise Denver. I’ll tell them I’m going back to Miami, where we moved from. I’ll convince them that if they refuse to pay for me to go back, I’ll go on my own. I can be very convincing.”

He smiled. “Yes. I’ve witnessed that.”

“I’ll have to go before you, though,” I said. “If my parents think I’m going there because you did, there’ll be no chance of them supporting me with the money I’ll need.” I was frowning. This plan meant at least a week without seeing Ray at all. I didn’t like it one bit, but it was better than enduring the rest of high school without him.

He was starting at me with adoration written all over his face. “Amber you are a genius. This is the perfect plan! Even if your parents won’t pay for you to stay somewhere, I can.” He motioned for me to sit on the bed next to him.

I looked nervously at the door before sitting on the bed. I blushed at his compliments. “Nah, you’re the smart one. I just came up with this one idea.”

“Oh, no,” he replied. “You aren’t getting out of this. You are a genius. A wonderful, beautiful genius.”

I shook my head, laughing. He put his arm that wasn’t casted around my waist. I turned to him and wrapped both my arms around his neck, pulling him into a gentle hug. I had dreamed about this hug for the past few nights. It was wonderful.

I felt him all around me. I buried my face in his warm shoulder to get closer. His laughter made his chest rumble, shaking me. Everything was going to work out. I just knew it.