Just to Hold You Close and Tight

“Hey Amber, how’d it go?” Ray asked when he answered his phone.

“It was great. My parents said they’d pay for my plane ticket and an apartment,” I replied, knowing I sounded a little full of myself. I was a little too proud of my success.

“That’s good.”

“Yeah… so I’ll be leaving on Friday,” I said excitedly.

“Friday!” he exclaimed. “That’s the day after tomorrow!”

“Like you said before, the sooner I leave, the sooner we can meet up again,” I countered.

“True. I’m guessing you called so we can talk about what you’re going to tell your friends?” he asked.

No way was I going to admit that I had been so caught up in my excitement that I had already called. “Yes. I don’t have any idea what I’m going to tell them.”

He replied, “You’re lucky I’ve been thinking about it then. Obviously, they can’t know that your boyfriend – regardless of what his name is – followed you to Miami.”

“Obviously,” I echoed.

“And I suspect that when I get there, you won’t want to have to call me Ben, will you?” he continued.

“Of course not. Once you’re there, you can be Ray again. You don’t want to be called Ben for the rest of your life, do you?”

“No,” he replied. “So there are three things we have to make sure of. One: your parents don’t suspect that I followed you. Two: your friends think I, Ray, am dead, in case they’re ever talking to your parents in the future. Three: Your friends don’t think that I’m the same Ray from Denver once I get to Miami.”

I laughed. “I bet I could take care of everything without even lying! Well, I’ll have to tell my parents I broke up with Ben, but I wouldn’t consider that a lie, because we were never dating in the first place. Misleading my friends will be simple. I’ll tell them you and Ben were in an accident, and that you died. That’s the truth! I guess we’ll have to pretend we didn’t know each other for a couple of days, but then we should be… safe.”

“That is exactly what I was thinking,” Ray said approvingly.

I giggled, but then I realized I was going to be leaving Ray for a very long time in less than forty eight hours. I was suddenly serious, and I said, “I’ll drive you to school tomorrow, but I won’t be there on Friday.”

“I know,” he said. “Ben’s mom can drive me.”

He didn’t understand what I was getting at. “After tomorrow, I won’t see you for more than two weeks.”

He was silent for so long I started to wonder if he was still there. Finally, he said, “I was trying not to think about that, but you’re right. Tomorrow night, we’ll go to the park late at night like we used to.”

Despite my sinking mood, I smiled. “Just like before? Come on. Those days where we can sneak around are over. How would you get there with your crutches? I couldn’t drive you, and Ben’s house is too far away.”

I heard Ray sigh. “Oops, I forgot. We could go after school, though.”

My grin widened. “I’d like that. I’ve got to call my friends now.”

“Bye,” he said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” I whispered before hanging up. But after seeing him the next day, I’d have to wait a very, very long time to see him again.

I dialed Chelsea’s number sluggishly. I wasn’t so excited anymore, but that was probably for the best. I was going to have to tell her my boyfriend died in a car accident, after all.

“Are you okay Amber?” Chelsea said when she picked up her phone, not bothering to say hello.

“I’m sorry I hung up on you,” I replied. “I just didn’t know what to say.”

She asked, “What do you mean?”

“When you… when you mentioned Ray and Ben. They were in a car accident, and…” I trailed off. Thinking of the lonely weeks to come, I managed to squeeze out a few tears and a sob.

“Oh my God, what happened?” she asked, very concerned.

“Ray died,” I whimpered.

After a few seconds of silence, she said, “I’m so sorry, Amber, I know you liked him. Is that why you’re coming back?”

“No, I really do miss you guys. He was the only thing that was keeping me here, though,” I said, which was true. “And now… I can’t stay.”

She sighed. “Are you going to be all right?”

“I think so,” I replied. “I think I’ll be able to make it, especially when I’m with you and Gabby again.”

“When are you coming?” she asked, her voice still full of sympathy.

“Friday,” I answered.

“That’s so soon!” she almost screamed.

“I know. I really need to get out of here,” I said, but then another thought occurred to me. What if she told her mom that my boyfriend died and her mom let something slip to mine? “Oh. This is very important. You can’t tell anyone but Gabby about this. My parents didn’t know Ray was my boyfriend, but they thought Ben was.”

“Ah, I see,” Chelsea said knowingly, although she didn’t know the half of it. “Okay, you can count on us to keep it a secret. Do you want me to tell Gabby all of this so you don’t have to?”

“That would be great, Chelsea. Thanks so much, and don’t forget to tell Gabby everything. I guess I’ll see you on Friday,” I said gratefully.

“No problem. This is what friends are for, right?” she said.

“Only the best.” And they were the best.

“Bye Amber. I hope you’ll be okay. We love you and we miss you, and I can’t wait to see you. I’m so sorry about-”

“It’s okay. I’ll be alright. Thanks for being so understanding. Bye!”

I hung up, wiped away my tears, and went downstairs to talk to my parents.