Just to Hold You Close and Tight

Packing was a nightmare. I could only take so much with me. Thankfully, my parents promised to send some of my stuff in boxes to me in the mail. Other than that, I packed the necessities and as much clothes as I could.

When I went to bed, I don’t think I ever fell completely asleep. I was always half awake, but I still had dreams. Ray starred in most of them.

I got up before my alarm even went off because I was bored of trying to sleep. I went through all my stuff, doing one last check to make sure I had everything. My flight didn’t leave until noon, so I had plenty of time to sit around and feel sorry for myself.

I already missed Ray, and I wouldn’t even have seen him that early in the morning on a normal day. It was going to be a long two weeks, and I knew it.

My parents helped me load my suitcases into the car when it was time to leave. Of course neither of them was very happy with what I was doing, so they didn’t even smile at me reassuringly or say a word on the way to the airport. They didn’t have to be so cold about it, did they?”

At last we reached the security, and it was time to part with my parents. I turned to look at them sympathetically.

My mom suddenly hugged me, knocking the breath out of my lungs. I grunted.

“I love you, sweetie,” she said.

“I love you too,” I replied. “I’m sorry that I have to do this. I know it doesn’t make you happy.”

“It’ll be okay. It was probably wrong to make you come here. But you’re an adult now, and you can make your own decisions.” She held me by the shoulders at arm’s length and looked me over as if she was just realizing how old I was. “They grow up so fast,” she muttered almost inaudibly.

When she let go, I turned to my dad. “I love you, Dad,” I said guiltily.

He gave me a half smile and said he loved me too.

“You’re coming home for Thanksgiving.” My mom’s voice was firm and commanding.

“Okay,” I agreed, grinning. “I will.” And with that, I slung my smaller bag over my shoulder and wheeled my suitcase into the security line. Once I was through security, I didn’t have any trouble finding my gate.

I sat down to wait for the plane to be ready to board, wondering where the… There it was. The cold sweat, pale face, and clammy hands. These symptoms always showed up before I got on an airplane.

I was completely terrified of them. I always had been, and I didn’t have a real explanation for it. I wasn’t even sure why it scared me. I had tried not to think about it or mention it when Ray and I had done our planning. I had been determined not to let my fear get in the way of anything, and my stubbornness had proved successful… until now. It was all I could do not to bolt out of the airport then and there.

The only thing that kept me firmly in my seat was the thought that the plane would take me to Miami, where Ray would eventually be.

When I was checking my phone to see what time it was for what seemed like the hundredth time, it started to ring.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey Amber.” It was unmistakably Ray.

I calmed down immediately, my nerves leaving me momentarily. “Um… aren’t you supposed to be in school?”

“I am. I’m in the bathroom.” It was then that I noticed his voice was hushed.

I giggled, but then I contained myself. I said, “You should get back to class and call me when school’s over. I’m about to get on my plane.”

“That’s why I was calling,” he said, sounding urgent. “I just remembered that you told me one of your biggest fears was airplanes. Am I right?”

“Yeah,” I replied, laughing nervously.

“Are you okay? You don’t sound okay,” he said skeptically.

“I’m fine,” I said indignantly. “I’ve been on a plane before. I can handle it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” I repeated. “You should really go back to class before you get caught. You’re welcome to call me when school’s over.”

“I will,” he promised before saying goodbye.

“Bye,” I said and hung up. Soon after, I got up and bravely marched into the plane. I was actually lucky that I hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before. It allowed me to sleep until we landed.

I got off the plane, almost getting knocked over multiple times by crazy passengers. I went to baggage claim.

Before I could even think of getting my bags, my name was exclaimed by two familiar voices. I nearly fell over when I was attacked by my two best friends. They were on me in seconds, smothering me with hugs that held way more strength than anyone would have thought possible.