I Love You, I'll Kill You

While Desmond was taking care of my ankle—and taking his time—I kept thinking back to the events of the night/day. I kept asking myself were all my other days this exciting?Was I always running from something, even from myself? I pushed my troubled thoughts aside and went back to watching Desmond work very carefully on my ankle. This was getting ridiculous.

"Seriously, Desmond, it's not glass," I said with a groan.

He smiled up at me from his spot on the ground, a smile that said everything and nothing. "You'd be surprised how fragile you are, Grace. Compared to my kind, you're nothing but a twig, something that could be easily destroyed, even if we don't mean to hurt you. Werewolves are no different from us in strength, so when I found your scent heading straight for their home, I thought of the worse." His face was suddenly serious.

I shook my head with a small smile on my lips. Guys... I thought to myself. "Like I said, I don't think I am much of a push-over," I said.

Desmond half chuckled, half snorted. "You're telling me." He then went back to wrapping my ankle, holding it very gently in his warm hands. I found it strange how his hands were warm at times, but freezing cold at others. When he was cold, his eyes were usually a darker shade, an almost dark brown color instead of his usually gold and copper. When he was warm his face had some color to it. But when he was cold he looked extremely pale. I figured that since he was a vampire it had something to do with how well fed he was at the time. It made sense to me.

Desmond noticed me staring at him and gave me a strange look. "What?" he asked, as if he were offended by my staring.

I blinked, coming out of my thoughts, not knowing that I had been staring. I apologized with a low, "Sorry," and then went back to staring at my ankle that was now fully wrapped with a new bandage. "Desmond?" I asked in a low voice.

He must have sense my discomfort, so he joined me on the bed and sat next to me on the soft bed. He slumped like me, copying my every move. He even rested his hands on his lap like mine.

I made sure to stare somewhere else while I spoke, afraid to meet his gaze. "What happened downstairs? I keep thinking about it, but nothing seems to fit," I said.

"What took place downstairs was not your fault. You didn't know of what you were capable of, and in many ways that is dangerous, but what happened downstairs was unexpected." He was trying to make me feel better, and if I had believed his words, maybe I would be feeling better.

I shook my head gently. "No, I mean, what did I do to you, all of you? One minute I felt like I was going to be crushed by some invisible force, and the next thing I knew you all were on the ground. What did I do to all of you?" I stared at my hands as I spoke, and I had a feeling my eyes were wide with fear of knowing the truth.

A warm hand reached up and touched my cheek, turning me to face him. His eyes locked with mine, and I suddenly forgot how to think. His eyes were warm, a feeling that enveloped me when I stared at his face. Behind those warm copper eyes were things hidden from me, things that only he knew of, and planned on keeping it that way. Too bad I couldn't read him the way he could obviously read me. "If you want to know if you hurt us, the answer is no. In fact, I think you did more of the opposite than anything." He ended with a smile.

I frowned. "Why do I find this hard to believe? You were, after all, on the ground, looking like you were twitching in pain."

He smiled again, a look that said 'I know something you don't know, but I just might tell you.' As he spoke he put an arm around my shoulders, a friendly gesture, and I took it the wrong way and tensed. "Oh, Grace, body language can be so misinterpreted. You said that you had felt some kind of power try to make its way inside your body, right?" he asked, keeping his arm over my shoulders. I nodded my head, still as tense as ever.

He continued. "Well, that power that you were feeling was all of our auras together, fighting each other. What I figure is that your power was extracting that power from us and calling it your own. In many cases, Grace, this power can be very useful," he stated.

I frowned even more. "Oh, yeah, like what?" For some reason I didn't really want to know.

His grip on my shoulders loosened a bit, but didn't leave from resting on them. "For one thing, when you have a great injury you can use that power to heal yourself. And if the case becomes serious, like life-threatening, that power could save your life. But if the power is used wrongly, then it may backfire and become your worst enemy," he explained.

I groaned, pulling my hands up to hide my face. "In short, I'm cursed," I grumbled.

He grabbed my hands and pulled them from my face, cupping them in his own. That caught my attention. "Some curses can become a person's greatest ally. Instead of thinking it as a curse, think of it as a tool, a thing you can use when in danger. And you don't need to worry about us. We are creatures who can withstand the greatest of pain, things humans could never stand. We're not called supernatural for nothing." Again, that damn smile of his.

I looked down, unable to stand his gaze any longer. "And what about the fact that I can see things that I am not supposed to be seeing?"

He stared at me with a lost look, releasing his hold on my hands. "Like what?" he asked, suddenly looking very curious.

I shrugged. "Like the fact that I could see Dawn and Ivan's wings when they weren't even out. I could see Bryce's red eyes." I shuddered at the memory of the crimson eyes staring at me like I was a prey, which to Bryce, I was.

Desmond was quiet for a long moment, lost in thought. "I do not know the answer to that, but I think it is a side-effect to your powers. Your body isn't used to having foreign power forced inside of it. Like I said, the human body is a very fragile thing compared to ours." Wow, he was good at coming up with ideas.

The sun was blocked out by the practically black window shades, which led me to my next question for my friendly vampire. "By the way, if you're a vampire, how come you're able to be awake while the sun is up? I thought vampires were vulnerable to sun." I thought it was a simple enough question.

He smirked at me, a tiny twitch of his lips. "Your memory wasn't completely erased if you remember that much information. But to answer your question, again, vampires with great power can withstand many things. I cannot sit out in the sun and get a tan, but I am able to remain awake and unharmed as long as I am not exposed to it for too long," he said. I was impressed myself that I had remembered that vampires couldn't be in the sun. For some reason it was an automatic idea when I thought of the word vampire. Desmond released his arm from around me and leaned back so that he was flat on the bed.

I stretched, yawning loudly, releasing the tension that I had been feeling while Desmond kept his arm around me. I followed Desmond and leaned back to lie on my back, staring up at the ceiling with slightly sleepy eyes. I could make patterns on the ceiling, and that made me feel even sleepier. A shiver ran down my spine, and I automatically looked to Desmond beside me. He was staring at me, his face blank, but his eyes full of warmth. Heat flew to my face, and I quickly averted my gaze back to the ceiling. He chuckled—probably from my embarrassment—and that made me blush even more.

"Are you tired?" he asked, pretending he didn't think my face was a red tomato. That question made me relax a bit, but I had feeling I was more tense around Desmond than any other person, and he knew it.

I summed up the courage to turn my face back to him and connect my eyes with his. I blinked, seeing all the different colors in his eyes. I nodded my head, too tired to speak words at this point. "But before I get some sleep I need to apologize to Dawn and Ivan for earlier," I said.

He was the one to frown this time. "Grace, you didn't do anything wrong. You don't owe them an apology, and they know that. You didn't hurt us, Grace, and I wish you would believe that," he said.

I sighed and replied, "I still feel bad. No matter how hard I try I keep seeing me as this monster who had forced you all on your knees because I couldn't control some strange new power that I have. And even if I had no control over it, I still want to apologize." I had a feeling no matter how many times I explained it to Desmond he would still think the same thing. He, like me, was as tough as a wall when it came to being convinced.

He did the same thing as me and sighed, releasing that bit of stress that he was holding in. "You're impossible," he mumbled under his breath, but I caught his words.

I smiled, sat up, and slapped his leg. Not hard, but enough to let him know that I was joking around. "I'll be back in second," I said.

"I'll come with you," he said, taking more time getting up than I had. I don't think he really wanted to go with me down the stairs, but I wasn't about to stop him if he wanted to follow me. Nope, no complaining from me.

"Jeeze, Desmond, you're slower than I am today," I joked, standing and waiting impatiently with a hand on my hip. He was taking a long time to move, or get to his feet at least. I hadn't seen him this tired and drained before. He was sitting, but he was slouched, his head hanging like it weighed twenty pounds more than it did.

"Yeah, the key word is 'day'. I'm not used to being up at this time of day. The sun drains my power, leaving me slower and practically powerless if I haven't had enough blood to drink." He looked up as soon as he had said those last words, and he looked worried, afraid he had scared me. After the past few hours, I was tired of being scared. Maybe I was getting braver, but I had a feeling that being tired had something to do with it.

I smiled innocently, knowing that would be enough to convince him. "Don't worry; I'm too tired to be troubled by anything you say right now." I crossed my fingers that that would be enough to convince him. He gave a tired smile while glancing to the ground, but didn't comeback with any comment.

I stood standing for a moment while he just sat there looking tired, but I knew that if I stood for too long I would grow very impatient. I walked up to stand in front of him and did something that shocked him more than me. I held out my hand for him. He stared at it for a moment, as if he were contemplating on taking the hand at all, but made up his mind with a smirk and put his warm hand in mine. I pulled as hard as I could so that I could get him to his feet with force. Wrong move on my part. He weighed too much for me to pull him up, and he wasn't too eager to get up either, so I lost my balance and ended up falling forward. My body landed on his, forcing him back onto the bed with me on top of him.

"I'm sorry!" I started stuttering and saying over and over again as I tried to get off of him without hurting him. He could say that he was practically invincible all he wanted, but I knew for a fact—supernatural or not—guys had a weak spot, and my leg was just inches away from making him hurt. I lifted myself up enough so that I hovering over him with a hand on each side of his head. When I lifted my head I was only inches away from his face. My breath got caught in my throat, and I was officially frozen in place.

He stared up at me with tired eyes, almost to a point where I thought he was going to fall asleep with me hovering over him. For a moment it didn't seem like he was breathing, just like me, but I knew that I would need to breathe before he would. I started to move off of him, maneuver, if you will, but a hand on my shirt stopped me. I looked back down to see if I had actually hurt him, but before I could blink my shirt was jerked, and I was suddenly the one with my back on the bed. Desmond appeared in front of me—the one now hovering over me—an arm on each side of my head. He pushed my legs apart so that his body fit in between me, enough to lean across me. Now I really wasn't breathing.

His eyes still looked tired, but now I was thinking for different reasons. His hand lifted from beside my head and cupped my cheek. Oh, God, this had to be a dream. My eyes were growing heavy, so it couldn't be a dream, not yet. He thumb caressed my cheek gently while he stared down at me, seeming content now that his body was in between my legs. My eyes were growing heavier by the second.

"I have wanted to do this since I met you," he whispered, and his head slowly closed the space between us. It felt like forever before I felt the first bit of his hair touch my forehead, the first air of his breath against my face. I couldn't breathe as I felt his lips just centimeters away from mine. He stopped just barely about to touch my lips, and for a second I didn't think he was going to kiss me. If this was going to go on much longer, I was going to lose my mind.

Just as I was to say something, his lips lowered onto mine, and I found true bliss. His lips were warm and soft like silk. His hand cupped my face, held me in place as his lips covered mine in an innocent and gentle kiss. No tongue, no eagerness, just Desmond and my lips touching, caressing each other. He started to pull away, but my lips went with him, like a magnet. He smirked against my lips as he pressed back down so that my head was flat on the bed once more. He wasn't the eager one, I was. I wanted him to devour me, to take over every bit of me. I couldn't hold back the desire to touch him with something other than my lips, so I lifted my hand and touched his face, telling him that I wanted more from him. Instead of replying with my request, he pulled away. He pulled away just an inch, enough so that he could see my whole face.

I stared up at him with a feeling that I had never felt before. My heart was beating quicker than ever, my mind was running a million miles, and all of it kept coming back to how perfect he was. I caressed my thumb against his cheek like he had with mine, just to touch him. His skin felt like warm porcelain, as if he would break under my fingers.

Many emotions flowed through his eyes and across his face so quickly that I lost count. He saw something on my face that made his eyes grow soft for a moment. But as soon as it appeared, it was replaced with a sort of sadness. He pulled away from me, and I was left reaching for him, where my fingers had been touching him. He moved from in between my legs and moved away from me completely, like I was some kind of plague. His eyes were now wide and wild, as if he suddenly realized what he had done. He moved from staring at where he had left me on the bed, to the floor, his mouth slightly ajar.

I sat up so that I was sitting on my elbows. I was still slightly disoriented from his kiss. I said in a confused voice, "Desmond?"

His eyes still refused to meet mine and continued to stare at the ground and whispered, "I shouldn't have done that." He whispered and mumbled to himself so that I couldn't understand him.

"Desmond," I called out his name again, hoping to get his attention, but he turned his back on me, saying not a word. He walked away, leaving me on the bed with no clue of what was going on, or if I had done something to upset him. He walked into the bathroom, closed the door behind him, and locked it.

I sat on the edge of the bed, my hands clasped to each other while they rested in my lap, and I stared at the bathroom door, waiting for it to open. For an hour I sat like that, listening for the sound of the door unlocking—for any sound—but not one noise came from the bathroom. My body was beginning to get stiff from sitting for too long, and after an hour my body was screaming. My eyes were hurting from staring at the door for so long. It's funny what things will keep you wide awake when you had previously been practically dragging. I stood to my feet, and the joints in my legs cracked from staying so still for too long. I walked to the door, not making a sound, and quietly tapped on the door. I waited for a reply, but there was nothing. I tapped a little harder, waited, but was let down a second time.

I sighed, and turned away from the door. What had I done wrong? I hadn't said anything, so what was it that caused Desmond to act so strangely? I tried to ignore the worst scenario and turned for the door that would lead me downstairs. When I reached the bedroom door, I glanced back to the bathroom door, hoping, but found that it was useless to try and fight a vampire at this time of day. So I left, leaving Desmond locked in the bathroom and went downstairs to talk to Dawn and Ivan.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I spotted the two fallen angels in the kitchen, laughing and goofing off. They were 'making' sandwiches. They were smearing each other with mayonnaise more than anything. How I hadn't noticed their screams earlier, I didn't know.

Ivan finally noticed me standing right outside the large kitchen and smiled at me with mayo on his nose. "Oh, hey, Grace. Care to join us in making lunch?" he asked, grabbing another finger of mayo.

I smirked and shook my head. "No, thanks, I think I'll pass."

He attacked Dawn with the finger and got her on the cheek, and she screeched. "You're missing out," he said through a laugh. When I saw them, I felt jealousy. Was this what it looked like to be in true love? Dawn and Ivan stopped what they were doing, noticing the frown on my face.

Dawn said, "Grace, are you okay?" Ivan released his hold around her waist to let her walk up to me.

I looked to the ground with my arms crossed in front of my chest. I whispered, "I'm fine." Yeah, like that was really going to convince them.

"Like hell you are. I can tell when someone is or isn't okay, and you are not fine. Tell me what's going on. Is it Desmond? Is he being a bastard again?" She asked the last question like she knew that one was going to be the answer.

I shrugged, not really wanting to talk about it. "More or less, but that's not the reason I came down here."

That stopped the unhappy glare on her face, and for a moment she looked surprised. "Alright, shoot," she said.

I sighed again, releasing the tension that had built up in my shoulders once more. "I came to apologize for earlier." Both Dawn and Ivan looked lost or flabbergasted, whichever it was, they were both speechless. "I know that it wasn't my fault—not really—but I still feel bad. Desmond already explained to me that it was out of my control, but I can't help but feel sorry for causing the commotion earlier." I really did hate apologizing, but I found that I felt somewhat better afterwards.

Dawn took the last step toward me and wrapped her arms around me for a hug. "You humans are so eccentric. I faintly remember little sparks of my time as a human, but they are mostly of that dork over there," she said, pointing to Ivan behind her.

I snorted, holding back a laugh. "I guess that's better than not remembering anything...like me," I ended with a murmur.

Dawn pulled away and cupped my face in her hands. "In time, it will all come back to you," she assured me. Dawn was the few whose words I could believe in. Maybe it was because we were both girls, but I didn't want to be sexist. I knew it was more than that in the back of my mind. She was someone I could bond with, who I could really open up and talk to. I had known her before; I could feel it. She pulled away and went back to attack Ivan with the bit of mayo she had on her cheek. The food fight between the two love-bugs didn't last long. Ivan surrendered when Dawn got out the ketchup and started spraying it on his white shirt. Red and white don't mix.

"So, what are you up to now?" she asked, wiping the white condiment off of her face with a towel.

I thought about it for a moment, and finally said, "I was actually thinking of going for a walk."

She lifted an eyebrow. "Oh? Where do you plan on going?" I was hoping she wasn't going to be like a babysitter for me.

I shrugged again. "I don't know. I met a few new friends in the woods, so I was thinking of visiting them."

Dawn's eyes went wide. "You mean the werewolf pack?" Great, Desmond had told the whole story. Well, I wasn't about to lie.

I nodded my head. "Yeah," I said.

She sighed louder than was necessary. "Fine, but if Desmond finds out and gets mad, I'm not making up excuses for you," she said.

I smirked. "That's fair. I won't be gone too long." And before either of them could say a word, I ran out the door, making my way to my new friends. Maybe they could cheer me up in this down time.