I Love You, I'll Kill You

I searched around me, looking for any bit of light. The room was black—shrouded in darkness. There was no feeling of the air moving, just a dark stillness that surrounded me. The air felt dead, like I was trapped in a box. There was no sound, just...nothing. Panic clutched my heart, and for a moment I believed that this would be my fate—to stay in a dark place forever more. This was my worst fear.

"Please," I whispered into the darkness. "I don't want to be alone." I hugged myself, clutching my arms around me as if it were cold. I felt myself on the verge of tears, unable to handle being so alone. Was this it? Was this how it felt to be dead?

"Do not fear, my princess," said a distant and angelic voice.

I turned; searching for the figure the voice belonged to, but still saw nothing but darkness. I shouted into the darkness, "Where are you? Please, don't leave me here. I don't want to be alone." I whispered at the last. The voice seemed happy, chuckling with amusement.

It echoed, "Fear not, my princess, for we shall be together soon." A dim light formed in front of me, revealing a blond haired young man. His piercing blue eyes looked straight at me, and I felt a shiver of fear shoot down my back. He was perfect in that supermodel way and I could see through his shirt the muscles that were etched so perfectly, like I god had created him. His face was definitive, all of him was. Even from one look I knew that this person was someone whom I had met before, but where? I pondered it for half a minute, taking in all of his features, but never able to put a finger on it. He had the aura of evil, and yet his outward appearance seemed so innocent. Who was this man? He smirked—one of pure maliciousness—and bowed, crossing his arm over his middle like the old ways of the gentlemen.

He spoke. "My princess, I cannot wait to see you again in the flesh. Until then, adieu." And just as soon as he appeared, he faded into the darkness once more. I jumped forward, reaching out for him. Anything was better than this darkness. I screamed when I felt nothing but black air flow through my fingers.

I jolted up from lying down, my eyes wide and my breathing quick. Sweat dripped from my forehead, and the rest of my body was shivering. I stared with wide eyes at nothing, unable to focus on one thing. It took me a minute before I got a hold of myself—to realize that I was still alive.

"It was only a dream," I told myself a couple of times before I finally slowed myself down a bit. I took a few deep breaths, closing my eyes as if I were meditating. I opened my eyes, and it wasn't until then did I realize someone was sitting beside the bed I was lying on. There he sat, perfect as always. His face was somber, but the look in his eyes was worried.

"Desmond," I weakly whispered his name. I suddenly had no voice. It's strange how dreams have such strong effects on one's body. Desmond sat in a rocking chair beside the large bed, watching me very carefully.

"A bad dream?" he asked, leaning forward to put his hand on my shaking one. I nodded my head, unable to find my voice this time. I glanced at him, but quickly looked down, unable to meet his piercing gaze. "May I ask what your dream was about," he spoke with a soft voice. He was being nice, and I didn't understand if it was an act or not. I gasped suddenly, reaching for my arm, but Desmond's hand stopped me before I could put any pressure on it, catching my wrist.

"Don't touch it. You don't want to injure yourself further." He sighed. "I knew it; your arm is more damaged than I first thought." He ended with another sigh.

Through my clenched teeth I asked, "How bad?" He moved from his spot on the chair to sit on the bed beside me. He looked at my wound, and I followed his line of sight. I had been expecting a few bruises and cuts, but when I saw the bloody bandage wrapped from my shoulder to my elbow, I realized that it was much worse than I had first thought. I suddenly understood why my body was in such shock. I looked back down, not liking the sight of so much blood soaking through the wrap.

"Desmond, you don't have to torture yourself to watch over me. I'm fine, really." I hated to watch him struggle, to hold back his instincts. If he was a vampire, his instinct would be to want my blood.

"I'm not leaving you," he replied without a beat. My eyes moved up, and when they connected with his, I felt heat rise to my face. My head jolted back down to my hands. My eyes went wide when I felt his hand touch my cheek. He gently led it so that my face turned to stare at him. My eyes looked up from looking down, tracing up his body before they landed on his face and to his eyes. His eyes were soft when mine connected with them, but there was also much sadness behind them.

"You scared me, Grace. When I saw that werewolf throw you like that…” he paused, and his face strained. I could just barely notice that his fist was clenching in his lap. "I thought that I was going to lose you.” His teeth were now gritting, and his eyes closed while he struggled to keep himself together. “I don't want to ever feel that sense of panic again, Grace," he whispered.

The next thing I knew, he was wrapping his arms around me. His body was cold, which meant he hadn't eaten in a while, but it felt nice against my hurt arm. For the first time I didn't panic when Desmond was so close. I rested my head against his hard, cool chest, breathing in his intoxicating scent. He smelled so sweet, and I could never identify what it smelled like. It was my favorite smell in the world. It was a comforting and familiar smell. My memory remembered this smell.

"I was scared, too," I whispered into his white T-shirt. The only difference between us was that I had been scared for him, not for me. When I had seen that werewolf jump at him, I thought for sure that I was going to lose him. I brought my arm around him, disliking the thought. My mind told me that to lose Desmond would mean the death of my heart. I too would die. My other arm was immobile, and I had a feeling it would be for some time. I heard footsteps running up the stairs, and more than one pair. I turned my head toward the door as Dawn and Ivan bolted through the door. Dawn's face lit up when she saw me holding onto Desmond.

"You're finally awake!" she screeched, fast-walking to the bed. Ivan hung back, leaning against the wall with a laid-back look on his face.

"What do you mean 'finally'?" I asked, releasing my hold on Desmond.

She gave a puzzled look, and then turned her gaze to Desmond. "You haven't told her?"

"Told me what?"

Desmond shrugged. "I was going to tell her."

"He just got caught up in the moment," Ivan said from his spot against the wall. Desmond shot him an unpleasant look. Ivan returned it with a smirk.

I got us back on track. "What haven't you told me that is so important?"

Dawn shrugged like Desmond had. "It's nothing that bad. You were just out for three days with a fever of about 104 degrees." I made a 'wow' movement of my lips. I knew that wasn't normal, and it was something to be worried about.

Ivan walked into the room a bit more. "We were worried that you were going to wake up...changed." I hadn't liked the way he had said that last bit. They were still keeping quiet about something; something that had worried them.

I sighed. “Okay, spit it out. Explain to me why you were so worried, other than my temperature.” They all looked between one another, waiting for someone to speak before the other. I was doing the same; waiting, and slowly growing impatient. My head hurt, my arm felt numb, and the rest of my body felt like it was breaking. This was definitely not a good night. And to add to it I was confused about many things. First off, I was curious about the blond in my dream. He was beautiful, but he had a dangerous aura around him; I felt it.

Dawn began to walk out the door. “I’ll be right back,” she said, and disappeared from sight. There went one with an excuse. Would it be Ivan or Desmond next to make up an excuse to escape and not answer my questions?

Desmond opened his mouth, but Ivan spoke before him. “I will go with Dawn to make sure everything is all right downstairs.” Desmond glared at the fallen angel as he quickly exited out of the room, closing the door behind him. Ivan had won. He had beat Desmond to the excuse.

I turned my attention back to Desmond. “So, I guess it’s up to you to tell me why you all had been worried.” My tone was final. Either he was going to tell me, or I would find a way to beat it out of him. Well, I would attempt.

He mumbled, “Stupid Ivan,” under his breath. He sighed. I had a feeling this was a typical thing of Desmond. “We were worried that you might have been infected.”

“Infected?” I asked.

He nodded his head. “That is how humans become werewolves. Lycanthropy is an infection. Werewolves are not usually born werewolves. They become werewolves by either being bitten by a werewolf, or the infection is somewhere in their genes. Usually if it is in the DNA, it will not show until at least puberty. Being bitten, on the other hand, is a more agonizing experience. The human body will fight the virus because it is unknown to it. The process is long and excruciating.”

“And my fever was why you were worried,” I added for him.

Again, he nodded his head. “Yes. Usually the first indication of the virus is a fever. But since your fever went down, we knew that you were clean.”
I looked down at my hands and played with my fingers. “When Troy bit me, I had a chance of becoming a werewolf,” I murmured.

“A very high chance,” Desmond added. I sighed louder than necessary. I was betting that he had been by my side the whole time, starving himself just so that he could be sure that I wasn’t going to turn all furry. “And yes, if you’re thinking I stayed by your side to make sure you weren’t infected, you’re correct,” he said, practically reading my mind. Another thing I noticed Desmond was good at was reading my emotions. It was amazing how paranoid he was about me becoming a werewolf.

I gasped, suddenly remembering about the werewolf that had saved me. I turned panic eyes to Desmond. “Where’s Shayne?” I asked in a quick whispering voice.
He rolled his eyes. “The pup is fine. In fact, he’s—” Desmond was cut off by another voice coming from downstairs.

“She’s awake?!” the voice yelled, followed by feet practically jumping up the stairs. The door opened, and there stood Shayne, all bandaged up, his eyes wide with disbelief. Desmond grumbled under his breath, and even though he could hear him, Shayne ignored him. His eyes were all for me.

I gave a warm smile. “I am so glad that you are all right.”

He rushed forward to the bed, bending down on his knees as soon as he got to me. He reached for my hand with his right, since his left was covered in gauze. I could also tell that his entire top half was covered in medical bandages as well. He rested his head in my lap, sighing in content. “I am so relieved to see you awake,” he whispered.

I touched the top of his head and stroked it like one would a dog. “Me? I should be the one so relieved. I owe you a great deal of thanks for saving Desmond and me.” Desmond snorted from beside me, and I couldn’t help but smirk. He could pretend he wasn’t appreciative all he wanted, but he knew that he owed Shayne as well. My fingernail got caught on one of Shayne’s gauze bandages when I touched his shoulder. “I thought you said you had no need for bandages, that you didn’t use them because you were so amazing,” I mocked him. He lifted his head, and he was frowning.

Desmond spoke for him. “He changed back into his human form before he was fully healed, because he so dearly wanted to see you and couldn’t wait to see you. So now he is suffering the consequences,” he said nonchalantly. I sent him a look of annoyance, and he shrugged his shoulders. “I warned him.”

“He’s right, Grace. He told me that you would rather have me healed and well than to be bandaged like a mummy,” Shayne said, and although he had attempted to make his comment funny, he was frowning. Both Desmond and I lifted our eyebrows in surprise. Shayne groaned and rested his head back in my lap.

I turned my attention to Desmond and smirked. “You said something nice to the Shayne,” I said with glee.

His eyes moved to the bed. “I was just being honest,” he murmured. I patted his hand, silently thanking him. He smirked and let out a tiny laugh. His eyes moved back up and connected with mine, and I showed him with a kind smile how much what he had done really meant to me. He moved his hand from beneath mine and placed it on top of mine, squeezing it gently. My heart was beating fast, and I was glad. I had been so close to being killed—from what Desmond had said—that I was happy that I was still alive and somewhat functional. We stayed like that for moments, sitting in silence. A snore came, and I looked down and laughed quietly when Shayne was sleeping like a baby with his head still in my lap.

“Grace,” Desmond said in a quiet voice, catching my attention again. “I want to talk about what happened the other day between you and me.”

That comment made my heart stop. I turned my eyes back to the bed. “It was nothing. I understand. Just forget about it.”

“I don’t want to forget it—ever.”

I sighed, and I took my hand from under his to place it on my lap, next to Shayne. “Desmond, why are you doing this? You know that it was nothing.” I am not going to cry. I am not going to cry. I repeated this over and over during those words in my mind.

He shook his head, acting as if he were trying to shake those words away. “No, it was something, and you know in your heart that what happened between us in those short moments affects you even now. I felt it when I touched you, that you wanted it almost as much as I did.”

This time I was the one to shake my head. “Desmond, this isn’t the right time to talk about this.” I gestured for Shayne.

Desmond came back with, “He’s out. Nothing is going to wake him unless you scream.”

Dawn’s scream came from downstairs, and that was enough to wake Shayne. Both he and Desmond were to their feet in less than a second, both taking defensive stances. Desmond gasped—his eyes going wide—and that’s when I felt every molecule in my body go cold. I could feel evil surround us like an invisible cloud. It surrounded the house, and it was inside as well. I suddenly couldn’t breathe. I felt a power unlike any I had ever felt slowly creep up the stairs, like some deadly smoke slowly rising. I could no longer hear anything that was happening downstairs, but I knew that the silence was a bad thing. I clutched the neck of my pajamas, trying my best to remember how to breathe. I felt the familiar jolt of power stab into me, and I was rolling out of the bed onto the floor, screaming. I had landed on my hurt shoulder, but it was nothing compared to this new-found power. Shayne and Desmond were by my side within a blink of an eye.

“Grace? Grace?! What is it?” Shayne shouted, but his voice was barely a whisper to me. Another scream escaped me when the second jolt of power hit me, and my back arched with the force. Whoever’s power this was, it was too intense for me to handle. My nails tried to scratch into the white carpet while I made sure I didn’t lift off the ground from the amazing power. Shayne suddenly grew quiet, and his face went pale. “I know this aura,” he said. The power stopped trying to force its way into my body as soon as he said those words. My back flopped back down on the floor, and I was more than relieved. Sweat dripped from my forehead as I tried to regulate my breathing.

“Indeed you do know, young wolf,” a voice spoke from the door, but Shayne was blocking my vision of the intruder. Shayne turned and jumped to his feet in a flash, unblocking my view, and his face was furious. I almost screamed from my place on the floor. A young man stood at the entrance of the door. The young man who was standing in the doorway was the same man I had dreamed of the night before. His blond hair and blue eyes were the same, and he had the same wicked smirk on his face. He completely ignored Shayne’s anger and looked to me, still lying on the ground. My eyes were heavy from the power surge, and I was begging in my mind for me to stay awake.

“Cain,” Shayne growled in a menacing tone. Desmond was frozen in his place, completely motionless. The blond finally took notice of the furious werewolf, at last moving his gaze from me. I felt a great weight lift off me. “How dare you show your face here after all these years!” Shayne shouted. I struggled to get to my feet, and stumbled a few times, but
Desmond finally helped me, surrounding his arm around my middle so that I stayed on my feet. I clutched onto him like a security blanket, because to me that’s who he was.

The blond turned his attention back to Desmond and me. He smirked when he noticed the frightened look I had. “Oh, Grace, my princess, it has been far too long since I have felt my arms around you,” he said. His voice made goose bumps appear all over.

Shayne snarled, “You bastard, Cain. Don’t ignore me! You killed my brother. You tortured him! And I will avenge him”

“Slow down, wolf, or I will have to take matters into my own hands,” Cain warned in a cool voice, but I couldn’t help but feel he was amused by Shayne’s hostility.

Shayne’s fists were beginning to shake with fury, his teeth clenched with a snarl that showed all his pearly whites. I gasped when I detected two teeth a bit longer than the others; his canines. “I will avenge my brother,” he growled, and he took another step toward Cain.

Cain held up his hand, and Shayne stopped his advance, like he had hit a force field and wasn’t able to take another step. “Settle down, wolf, or I will have no choice but to make this painful for you.” It sounded like a promise. “Believe me when I say that I did not kill your brother, merely made my point to not test me. Your brother suffered the consequences for challenging me.”

Shayne tried to push against the invisible force, but made it no closer to Cain. “If he’s not dead, than where is he?” Shayne shouted.

Cain’s wicked smirk returned. “He works for me now.” Shayne suddenly went still, his fingers uncurling and falling to his sides. His eyes were as wide as I had ever seen them, his face so pale that he was starting to look like Desmond. He shook his head, backing away from the blond. Cain was amused by his reaction.

“My lord,” a voice from behind him spoke. I let out a whimper at the sight of burning red eyes. I clutched tighter to Desmond and tried to hide my face in his chest. The human-looking thing with red eyes spoke quickly and quietly to Cain, and then he left.

Cain turned his attention back to us. “My father is awaiting our arrival. Shall we be on our way soon?” It didn’t sound like he was really asking.

“Desmond, what is going on?” I whispered into his shirt, too scared to look at the angelic image of Cain. He didn’t reply, and that’s when I looked up. His eyes were pointed at Cain, but his eyes were sad. “Desmond?” I asked in a louder voice. He still wouldn’t look at me.

“Desmond, Grace is asking you a question. Are you simply going to disregard her? Some kind of caretaker you are,” Cain began. “And I thought you would keep your side of the bargain. Though, for the most part, I guess you did. Her powers have finally awakened, and I can’t wait to observe what else she has in store.” That statement made Desmond’s whole body tense.

I loosened my hold on his shirt. “Desmond, what is this guy talking about?” I asked with a shaky voice.

Cain chimed along, “Yeah, Desmond, what am I talking about? You of all people would know. You were the one after all, to come up with that splendid plan of yours. Remember our little agreement. You capture Grace and find her powers, and your contract would be terminated. You would no longer have any association with me. This would be so much easier for Grace to comprehend if you hadn’t obliterated her memories.” Desmond gasped, and Cain’s smile grew wider. Cain continued. “What? You didn’t think I wasn’t going to find out, did you? Silly Desmond, you should know better than to keep nasty little secrets from me—especially ones concerning my future wife.”

I snorted. “I would never marry a creep like you. You may look all angelic, but I know you’re the Devil in disguise.”

Cain burst into laughter, and it made all three of us tense. “Not a bad analogy, Grace. Your words are more precise than you may believe.” I clutched tighter on to Desmond. This wasn’t happening. If it was happening, why did it have to be me? Was it just because of some stupid powers I had? If this was what it was leading to, I would rather not have them at all. Cain gestured for the door. “Now, shall we be on our way? I am sure you have so much to remember about me. In fact, Grace, would you come here for a moment?” he asked, extending his hand out to me. I began to shake my head, but as soon as the thought of never going anywhere near him, my body went against me. Like a controlled doll, I took my clutched hands from Desmond and began to slowly make my way toward Cain. I struggled against each step I could, but it was no use. Desmond was reluctant to release me, and I screamed in my head for him to stop me from going closer to this crazy and evil person.

My eyes were wide with terror as I reached Cain. I stood before him, unable to move or speak. He lifted his hand, and just as he was to touch my forehead, he looked into my eyes and said, “Hate burns in all of us.” And then his fingers touched my forehead. A burst of light shot from his fingertips, and I was suddenly on the ground, writhing in pain.
Thousands of quick flashes burst in my sight, even though my eyes were closed. Thousands, millions, and even more moments were flashing in my sight before me. My whole life up until now flashed before my eyes. The memories of my loved ones from my true world, of my parents and their crying faces as I watched them on the television, all of the pain and happiness I had ever felt. It was all too much to endure, and it happened within seconds. I screamed, I cried, and I wanted to laugh, for it was all so much to take in at one time. So many emotions smashed into me at one time. The memories just kept coming, and when I thought that I was going to lose consciousness from the massive amount of information, it stopped with the last memory I had before they all had been erased. Desmond, his face somewhat emotionless, but I could see the sadness in his eyes as he spoke, “You’ll thank me later.”

I opened my eyes, and my face was stained with tears. It hadn’t been more than a few seconds, but it had felt like hours of pain, happiness, and experience. Cain was kneeling next to me. Shayne was against the wall, still in a trance of disbelief from the information of his brother. Desmond was looking at the ground, his expression miserable. Before I knew what I was doing, I lifted my arm to slap Cain, only he had anticipated this action of mine. I cried even harder, but my glare never faltered. How had I been so naïve? It made me furious that I had been so foolish as to fall for such tricks, time after time.

I struggled against Cain’s hold, the person who I had grown to hate most in this world, even though I knew it was futile. Through my memories I had learned that Cain was not to be dealt with, especially when it came to power. He was the devil’s son, and he had kept his reputation with power. I stopped struggling against his hold on my wrist and looked back to Desmond. He was still refusing to look at me. I cried harder. I had no power to fight Cain as he brought me close to him and encircled me in his arms.

“Shhhh,” he cooed in my ear, but it did not make me content—it made me cry harder. That was when Desmond lost it.

“I cannot let you take her,” Desmond said quickly.

Cain looked up, raising an eyebrow. “Oh? And do you plan on stopping me?” he challenged.

Desmond finally lifted his head and straightened his posture. “I can’t stand to see her go through this all over again. So, I will challenge if the need be.”

Cain shook his head while doing one of those ‘tsk, tsk’ sounds with his lips. “Desmond, Desmond, Desmond, what would your dear fiancée think of this?” Desmond gasped again, as if he had forgotten all about this person. I had gasped even louder, and my body was suddenly frozen. I was no longer breathing. Cain continued. “Isn’t that the motive of why you made the deal with me—to be free of me forever more so that you may have a normal life with her? Or has Grace made you think twice about your decision to marry? Jezebel would be very disappointed. She has been waiting so impatiently for your return.”

I couldn’t handle it any longer. I closed my eyes, doing my best to block out the words I was hearing, but the ones I had already heard resonated in my mind, stabbing me in the heart over and over again. More tears slid down my cheeks. Cain wiped them with his thumb, and I shuddered in anger. I wanted to slap him, but I knew that, even with the new power I had obtained during those few seconds, it would be useless. Ice surrounded my heart in those few seconds, and felt the numbness spread through my whole being.

“What is the matter, Desmond? You appear so shocked. You did not forget about your fiancée, did you?” Cain sighed loudly, shaking his head. “This will be a very awkward reunion.” He smiled then, turning his attention to Desmond. “I cannot wait for it.” My tears had stopped flowing by that point. I was frozen, inside and out. I could no longer feel. I was a great nothingness. Cain picked me up, carrying me in his arms. “Let us get moving,” he said, turning and walking out the door. He carried me down the steps of the stairs, and there at the bottom were Dawn and Ivan, looking more frightened than I had ever seen them.

“Grace?” Dawn said my name in a panicked voice, taking a step toward Cain and me. Ivan grabbed her shoulders, holding her back.

Cain smiled. “You two may come with us, if you wish. I am sure Grace would appreciate the company.” He looked back, at the top of the stairs. “Desmond and Shayne will be coming with us as well,” he said, and then walked past the two fallen angels and out the front door.
There was a black limousine waiting for us. Another being with red eyes appeared out of nowhere, opening the door for Cain and me. He bowed as Cain got to the limo and climbed in with me in his arms. The limousine was the biggest I had ever seen. He sat me down on the seat, sitting next to me and putting an arm around my shoulders.

“Do not fret, Grace. All will turn out well in the end. I think you will enjoy the castle, and I hope that you will eventually enjoy my company as well.” I didn’t say anything, just stared ahead of me with a blank expression. Dawn and Ivan were next to climb into the limo. They both looked terrified. They were holding onto each other, as if they would never let go of their bonded hands. They sat at the other end of the limo, sitting as far from us as they could. Seconds later Shayne climbed into the long car, still very much in a daze. He sat on the side seat, not looking at anything in particular. Desmond finally appeared and followed Shayne’s idea, sitting on the other side of the limo from the werewolf. He too was in a daze, but less so than Shayne. His eyes stared at the ground with a sad expression, and for the first time, I felt no remorse.