One Fumbled Touch

William's P.O.V

"Is Brendon alright," I ask Ryan quietly, I don't want to sound too concerned I mean why should I care about him anyway. He's hurt me, stabbed at my heart and ripped it from my chest. But yet even with a weeping heart, I can't stop thinking him and I know its wrong. Especially when I have his once best friend held in the comfort of my arms.

"He's just being a drama queen, that was just one of his over dramatic diva moments," Ryan told me, irritated. He snuggled further into me as I sighed, stroking his hair gently. I don't know if this feels right, I can't feel the butterflies fluttering tenderly around my stomach. But Ryan seems pretty content and I guess that's all what matters right now seeing as Brendon scared the life out of the innocent boy. I say boy because he is far from being a man, every now and then you can see the child like expressions in his face or a sparkle in his wide eyes.

"I'm going to see Adam, I'm sure he's stole my favorite shirt and we need to pack for the next venue" I inform him, I sit up, Ryan continues to cling onto me but I manage to pry him away from me to his disappointment.

"Oh William this is the second time you have threatened to leave me," Ryan wines childishly, I chew uncomfortably on the bottom of my lip and try to think of something I could say what would bring that infectious smile back to his face.

"I'll only be about fifteen minutes and if I see Brendon on the way to Adam's room, I'll give him a quick slap for you," I joke uneasily, Ryan laughs but the atmosphere is still tense and I'm eager to leave. I wave at Ryan lamely before leaving the room and shutting the door behind me quickly so I can't hear Ryan's pleading voice for me to stay.

Okay maybe I lied about the shirt but how else would have I got out of there. So remember what my secret is, that I William Beckett tends to drink away my problems without hesitation. Well the pain is still burning in my chest and maybe a good, strong drink will wash it away.

I know there is a bar in this hotel because I sat in it and got horribly drunk until Mike had to carry me back to my room. That was because of the whole Brendon incident, I'm pretty sure I'll get the same disgusted look from the bartender and hotel guests again. But I don't give a fuck. Alcohol dissolves my problems or at least tones them down a little.

Walking up to the bar I'm relived when I see a different bartender from my last drunken night, they have no clue that I'm going to drink until I see the oh too familiar puppies and rainbows take over my vision as the walls around me spin, making my stomach churn and head ache. The female behind the bar smiles sweetly at me before passing me my drink. I grin back at her stupidly, knowing that the drink in my hand would make everything go away.

Sitting down at a table, I take a rather large drink, regretting it as the bitterness rips at my throat, but I carry on anyway. I can feel my mobile vibrating in my pocket, I pull it out and slam it hard on the table when I see the word Brendon flashing on the screen brightly. I have to control myself before I throw it at the nearest wall, smashing it into pieces. Taking another swag from the cool glass, I sigh deeply when I realize its empty. Wow Beckett a record time for drinking, you must be so proud.

I lay my head down on the table, feeling utterly terrible, empty even. I'm so caught up in feeling sorry for myself that I don't realize someone has sat down beside me. I feel something brush past my hand as I sit up abruptly, startled. Its a girl she has short black hair, her eyes are rimmed with eyeliner and I can't help myself from wiping away the smudges from under her eyes. She just smiles at me even though I just touched her soft, pale, skin randomly.

"Are you okay, you look a little down," she asks me, her voice is so sickly sweet, oozing with sugar and kindness. She is making me sick, but I can't force myself to move away from her into a more private, secluded area. I didn't really plan on having an audience whilst I got plastered.

"I'm fucking fantastic," I say sarcastically, she doesn't even flinch when my words come out sharp and cruel. Smiling, is that all she can do! Why is her hand on top of mine, why does she care if I look a little down? Well she's wrong, I'm not down I'm depressed, hurting, probably better off dead.

"I'm Jessica by the way," she states, I roll my eyes at her, I'm about to get up to order another drink, or two to be more precise. But she stops me, this time she's not smiling anymore, he cheeks are still are rosy pink though.

"Look Jessica, I don't care who you are, leave me alone," I tell her harshly, I hope she is not a fan of the band, what's all I need is magazines accusing me of treating fans badly. I am supposed to be a sweet guy who would spend hours of their precious time signing autographs and standing with fan after fan for a picture.

"Look William," Shit she must know who I am. "Grow up, it must have took you less than a minute to finish that drink and I'm not going to sit and watch my hero get himself drunk, because I know your better than that," she explains to me seriously, I see the intensity in her eyes and I feel queasy.

I'm getting told off by a fan girl, how embarrassing.

"Sorry Jessica," I mumble lowly, that beautiful smiles ripples over her lips and she looks extremely happy. It's as if I had made her day or something. If she only knew why I was here, I am positive I wouldn't be her hero anymore. I seemed to feel even more numb after listening to her lecture me. I can't even look after myself, I thought Ryan still acted like a child. Well if he's a child, I must me a baby.

She throws her arms around me as I hug her back awkwardly. I hoped nobody was looking at me, I'm pretty sure yet more disgusted glares would be burning through me. The embrace lasted longer than In expected, was she ever going to let go?

"William Beckett you make me sick, I was worried about you when you wouldn't answer my calls and then I find you fucking with some random girl. I thought you were with Ryan," someone shouts, Jessica pulls away from me quickly, and then I see him. Brendon stood there, his face a light pink, tears threatening to fall from his already sore and bloodshot eyes.

"Brendon let me explain," I plead with him, but he's storming out of the bar probably not wanting to cry his fragile heart out to the rest of the hotel. I get up from the seat quickly, saying goodbye to Jessica and chasing after him. I don't care about how I feel anymore, Brendon is a mess and its all my fault.

"William stop following me," Brendon shouts, its supposed to come out as a threat but he sounds so weak, it barely comes out as a squeak. But he stops letting his arms fall to his side as his shoulders slump, his head dropping. I approach him cautiously, it's as if he is a time bomb he could explode any minute, second. Standing next to him I bring my fingers to trail across his tear stained cheek but he slaps my hand away, okay that hurt.

"Bren just tell me why you did those things to Ryan," I ask him gently, but that's when his hands curl into his fists and he brings up his head slowly. His face has gone from a light pink, to vivid red and his eyes are clouded with hated. He punches me in the face forcefully, causing me to stumble backwards from the impact of his hard fist.

Okay that hurt more...