One Fumbled Touch

William's P.O.V

I never thought I would be as heartless enough to leave my one true love when they most needed my love and support. Running away like the coward I am, but not to the nearest bar to your surprise and my own. How could I just sit there like nothing has happened, Brendon could be telling the police that I, and I repeat I William Beckett, murdered Ryan Ross. So leaving the hospital was stupid on my part, if the police are coming to get me I can only run, wow William being on a constant run from the police, what a rebel.

I can say I got some pretty weird looks from people when I ran into the hotel crying my eyes out but for once I didn't care what people thought of me. I was too impatient to wait for a lift so I sprinted up the stairs, what I had killed Ryan on. Okay whenever I walk up some stairs I will be constantly reminded that I'm a murderer, great just great. I don't bother going to my room, I decide to go see Adam instead, he said openly that he was never a big fan of Ryan and could see no point in going to see him.

Knocking on the door is really testing my patience, why wont he bloody answer! I shove my hands into my jean pockets and try to calm myself by taking deep, controlled breaths. I go to slam my fist into the door again but Adam answers with one of his stupid pathetic grins plastered across his face. I know this sounds horrible but his happiness is killing me, why couldn't he be the one to murder Ryan. Okay maybe that's taking it too far but I still believe that I defiantly did not deserve this. You have got to give me that.

You see at least I'm not getting mad with him for wearing one of my most favorite shirts. Even though I have no clue how he got his hands on it, thieving bastard!

"Can I talk to you," I ask flatly, I run a hand through my messy locks and try to put a least a tiny smile on my face, anything to stop me from looking so tense.

"Sure Bill, come in" he says cheerfully, I groan from his sickly sweet voice and make my way into the tip of his hotel room. I feel honestly sorry for the person who has to clean it. Well it doesn't matter anyway this will be our last day in this hotel, seeing as the tour was cancelled due to obvious reasons.

Walking in I make my way to the bed flopping down onto it I immediately start to mess with the loose thread on my jeans. Adam comes over to me, he sits beside me the grin still present on his face.

"I'm going on vacation for a while can you tell the others, I don't want any fuss," I tell him, lies of source. Screw a vacation, I'm leaving for good I heard Japan is a pretty cool place to live. Anywhere, I really don't care as long as I'm away from anyone and everything.

"Sure Bill, are you taking Brendon with you?" he asks, why oh why did he have to bring Brendon into this. Do you know how much it hurts to be leaving him, well my heart is finding out the hard way. Whoever ripped it out of my chest can I please have it back.
Anyway I couldn't handle then look on Brendons face if I told him, its better to sneak away in silence. Well almost silence I needed to tell someone I don't need people sending the police to find me when I go missing.

"No we need space from each other, you know the whole Ryan thing has made our relationship complicated," I try to tell him without breaking into tears. What am I supposed to say, I would just like to tell you Adam that I pushed Ryan down the stairs and killed him but it was an accident I swear. Like that wouldn't freak the hell out of him.

"I'm sorry about Ryan you know he wasn't the nicest of people but he didn't deserve to die. Do you know what happened? Do you think Brendon did this to him, I mean after all the shit he pulled with you two," Adam says seriously, I swallow the ridiculously large lump in my throat and turn to scratch my nails hard into my arms to control my tattered nerves.

"How can you say that! Ryan was Brendon's best friend. Look I don't know what happened and I would rather not talk about it," I tell him sternly, well at least that wiped the stupid smirk off his face.

"Sorry William I was getting too carried away," he says quietly, I give him a quick pat on the back before rising from the bed and heading for the door.

"Well bye Adam, don't worry I will bring you some random present back and you can keep the shirt," I laugh, god this fake story is getting easier to tell, when since have lies spilled from my lips so confidently. Oh I know why, I'm a murderer now I need to be sneaky.

"Thanks Bill, have a good time," he smiles, with a hint of pink in his cheeks, I bet he thought he had got away with stealing my shirt. I wave lamely before slamming the door behind me and that's when I choke. The tears, thick and fast, fall down my cheeks the pain engulfs my chest.

My room was not that far away so I rushed down the corridor and quickly unlocked the door. As soon as I step inside I can smell Brendon, his scent wafted round my nostrils making me feel horribly sick. I hold down the gross substance rising up the back of my throat and start to shove my items into my suitcase.

I'm so on edge, they could be waiting for me outside. The police of course, ready to shoot me down. After my things are messily placed in the case I grab one of Brendon's t shirts and hold it against my chest with tears still cascading down my cheeks. I fold it neatly, putting it in the case before zipping it up.

This is really it, I'm leaving everything behind. Including my life. I start to drag the suitcase out of the room, cursing the wheels as they fail to be dragged out of the door. Taking a quick glance behind me I wipe a tear from my cheek and slam my memories behind me.

I just hope that Brendon will know I will always love him, but being together will eventually kill me.

Being apart is the only answer to all our problems.