One Fumbled Touch

Jessica’s Point Of View

“Eighty, ninety, one hundred,” Mike smiles darkly as he places the crumpled notes in my hand, I look down at the fading green dollars clenched in my fingers and feel nothing but guilt. Any teenager would be thrilled if their brother was to present them with a hundred dollars, I mean imagine all the CD’s or cute tops you could buy but I’m not any ordinary teenager right now. Oh and to set the record straight Mike is not giving me this money through the kindness of his heart, this is blackmail. This money means shit to me; I would rather be normal and happy than practically a slave to Mike. But I slept with one of his best
friends; supposedly I deserve this type of punishment.

“I don’t want you money Mike,” I state to him sternly, Mike stops smiling and steps so close to me I could smell the cigarette smoke lingering on his lips. I back away slowly but try to stay calm as he stuffs another twenty into my sweaty palm. I cling onto the money scared out of my mind as Mike sits me down on the bed and watches as I slowly place the money in my pocket hesitantly.

“Look go buy yourself that iPod you wanted or spend it on booze get fucked I don’t care! But we had a deal and you can’t break that not after what you’ve done,” Mike states, I hold the anger and hurt deep down inside of me as Mike hisses in my face like the monster he really is. All you obsessed fan girls out there never refer to Mike as the awesome rock star from The Academy Is with the rock n roll hair, he is sick, twisted and a horrible brother. You hear me!

“After what I did! I slept with William because I love him why won’t you understand that,” I tell him near to hysterics. Mike glares at me his jaw tightens and I see the furious look prowl across his face. I see his hand raise and then he slaps me across the cheek, a small tear escapes from my eye and slips down my throbbing cheek much to his amusement. This is not the first time he has hurt me...

“Jesus Jessica what the hell is wrong with you! William used you; you lost your virginity to someone who is in love with a man! Do you know how sick that is! But yet you fail to see why we have to make him pay. Jess he’s fucked up love and I’m only trying to protect you,” Mike sooths, he tries to stroke my stinging cheek but I slap his hand away in disgust. Whatever he says will never change what my heart feels when William is around. I don’t care that he’s gay and I don’t care that he stole my virginity. I lost it to someone I love, that’s all that matters.

“Don’t you think pretending to be pregnant is pretty fucked up!” I fume, Mike shoves his hand over my mouth and I gag from the taste of nicotine stained into his fingers. I struggle to get him off me as he pins me down onto the bed ignoring my thrashing arms and legs and silent tears cascading down my pale cheeks.

“We said we would never speak of this again, so you listen to me and keep that pretty mouth of yours shut. William is going to be a dad and you better keep him believing that. I want you to tell anyone, magazines, band members even plaster it all over the internet. Just make sure the world knows that William Beckett the innocent poser boy has knocked you up. Understood?” Mike explains to me seriously, I just nod my head the fear takes over and I lose the will to fight back. Basically he just asked me to destroy whatever is left of William’s life. How could I hurt such a beautiful creature, he can’t make me do this, he just can’t.

Mike gets off me and the sobs are set free from my chest all at once. The pain rips through my heart; it feels like my ribs are breaking one my one slowly puncturing the ugly brown muscle. I’ve never liked hearts the organ or the pretty pink ones. Anyway the point is heartache is the worst pain to experience, I mean you can’t just go to the doctor and get medication for a broken heart. Mike holds me close as he rubs soothing circles on my back. I just sob harder from the feeling of his filthy hands on me.

“Oh and Jess make sure you tell everyone he raped you,” Mike says simply as he smoothes a strand of hair behind my freshly pierced ear. The money he gave me to go along with this paid for the piercing. I regret it now but I didn’t go through the pain for nothing. Mike must have thought I hissed because he caught the sensitive part of the weeping hole but I hissed
from my heart clearly splitting in two.

He wants me to say William Beckett raped me. How could he say such a thing?

“No Mike! No!” I scream at him I start pounding my fists into his chest angrily, but he doesn’t even flinch instead he sits and lets me struggle for a few minutes before punching me in the face and letting me fall off the bed into a weeping, broken mess on the floor. He drags me up by my hair ignoring the piercings screams emerging from my lips. I can taste the blood in my mouth as I cringe from the taste. I hold my hand to my mouth from shock and to stop the never ending bleeding.

“You’ll do as I say,” Mike spits at me before showering me with a few ripped dollars and leaving the room in a few strides. I don’t know whether to scream, cry, grip my head; stop the blood dripping from my lips. What am I going to do, I’m 15 years old and stuck in a mess beyond anything I can cope with. Should I run away? But what would William want
with me; he has enough trouble already with Brendon in the hospital.

I just have to face the truth, nobody wants me and my brother is paying me to promote lies about the man I love and care about. I just want William to make the pain go away...