The Hardest Part of This Is Leaving You

I walk on Marissa's porch. I hear loud music. Obviously, the sleepover has already begun. I'm 30 minutes late, you see. I locked myself in my room, crying all the time. I suddenly realized I was already late. I hope you can't see my red eyes anymore. I'm just going to pretend nothing's wrong. The first person I'm gonna tell about the move is Frank. I will tell him tomorrow. Our -what was supposed to be a- great day together will probably turn into a crying-all-the-time-day. Sigh, how can I explain this to him?

"Hey Sophie! Where have you been? You're late!" Marissa noticed, opening the door.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know exactly, to be honest," I answer, my voice shaking.

"Hey, is something wrong? Have you been crying?" So she did see my red eyes. Damn it.

"Uhm, no, not at all," I say, almost crying again.

"Oh, okay. When something is wrong, you can always tell me. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know," I whisper. Gosh, I'm going to miss her so much. I can't survive without her. There's no way I will ever be happy again. This is my home, not Phoenix. Couldn't my parents discuss that with me? Is that too much to ask? Obviously, it is.

"You can put your stuff over there. We were already partying. I hope you don't mind…"

"No, of course not."

"Okay then," she answers. We walk to the living room, where the others are.

"Hey!" they all say in unison. I wave silently back.

"Come and dance with us!" One of my good friends, Kaitlynn, says.

"No, thanks. I don't really feel like dancing now," I say. I see Marissa staring at me, trying to figure out what's wrong. But I'm not gonna tell her now. I need Frank to support me.

While the others dance, I sit down on the couch and watch them having fun. I can't have fun right now. Not when I just heard I'm going to Phoenix, forever. I see them laughing. How can I laugh right now? I see them singing. How can I sing right now? I feel the tears forming in my eyes. But I try to hold them back.

"Uhm… I'm going to the bathroom. Be right back," I say when I notice I can't hold my tears back. Marissa nods, looking in my eyes, searching for my problem.
I run to the bathroom, already crying on my way there. I sit on the toilet, crying my eyes out. Stop crying, Soph! They will notice it! Don't act like a baby! I stop crying, realizing that they will see it. Now, wash your face and get back there! Have fun!! I listen to the voice in my mind and do what it says. I know, I'm weird. I got a voice in my head, I'm a freak.
I'm just a little freak. I cry all the time. I'm like a little child who just lost its favourite toy. Well, I am going to lose my favourite toy. Frank. Ugh, Do not think about it Soph! Try to have fun! Try to make this the best month of your life!

I walk back to the living room, trying to convince them I'm allright. Which they obviously don't believe, but they try to sound like they believe me.

Hours later

"Sophie, are you asleep yet?" I hear Marissa saying. We're already in our beds. The rest is talking and laughing all the time. But I'm not. I'm just listening to what they say.

"No, I'm not.'

"Then why are you so quiet? Why don't you talk with us?"

"I don't know. I just think I've got nothing to say…" I hear everyone sighing; giving up. Finally.

The next morning

"Sophie! Soph! Wake up! Soph!" I yawn and turn around, opening my eyes to see Marissa hanging over my mattress. "Finally! Uhm, we made breakfast and we're going to eat it now. Are you gonna join us, or sleep further?"

"I will get up, sorry," I say, embarrassed because I was asleep and everyone else was already up. I just couldn't sleep last night. Everyone thought I was asleep soon, but I was the last one to fall asleep. I thought about it all the time. But I guess that's pretty normal.
I get up and go downstairs, where the rest is.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty!" Kaitlynn smiles. I yawn, again. "Here," she says, giving me my breakfast.

"Thanks," I whisper, sitting down and start eating in silence while the rest are laughing at some joke.

Later that day

"Bye! Thanks for inviting me over, it was really fun!" I say, hugging everyone and leaving.
The rest is staying ‘till the evening, but I'm leaving earlier. They understood the fact that I wanted to see Frank. Maybe they wanted to get rid of me, because I was annoying, I think. I don't know. They'll understand when I tell them what's wrong.

I am already on my way to Frank's. Crying again, of course. What did you expect?

After a couple of minutes I get there. I walk to the door, not caring if he sees I'm crying. I will tell him right away. I think it's the less hardest.
I breathe deep in and out and ring his doorbell. Obviously he was waiting for me because he opened the door immediately.

"Hey sweetie! I missed you!" He says, kissing me. But he stops almost directly, noticing I'm crying. "What's wrong, honey? What did Marissa do to you? Tell me, please!" he says, worried.