I Won't Fear Love.

"Mariella! Where have you been?" My mother yelled as I came in and took my shoes off.

It's probably been about hours from when I ran. I sighed as I grabbed something to eat and drink.

"Mariella, mi dica subito! Sono stato preoccupato malati!" I winced as she spoke Italian in my ear. Usually when she speaks Italian, she's mad and really upset. (Mariella, tell me right now! I've been worried sick!)

Even though my Italian isn't that well, I understood most of it.

I winced again as she hit her palm against the table. "Mariella Nicole!" I stood up as I backed my chair out with force.

"I was out!" I yelled, and instantly wished I hadn't screamed.

Being stressed and confused does that to me, though. "Don't raise your voice at me, young lady." She said calmly, but with the voice that says 'Watch your tone!'

But, of course. My teenage me speaks back."I didn't raise my voice." I stated.

Idiot!.

"Where did you go?" She ignored my question, and asked her own. "Dominic called...he said you were crying, and that you ran out of his house. He was going to chase after you..but your brother saw him and told him to just let you go. I said that it was a stupid mistake, but ho- What's wrong?" She crossed the room and lifted my head as tears streamed down my face.

"I..I don't know, mother." I whispered, and she hugged me.

"Baby girl, did something happen?" I shook my head as I hugged her back.

"I'm..I just..Ugh!" I sighed and cried a little more.

I'm afraid, and I don't want to be. I wanted to say, but she'll probably say I'm a coward.

Before I knew it, half of me knew what to do. And it's the half that controlled my body. "I'll be right back." I said dully, sniffling. She was bout to tell me to stay, that she wanted to know where I was. "I'll explain once I get back."

If I can without falling apart.

So the half that took of my body; walked me next door to Dominic's house.

I knocked and I heard someone walking towards it. I wasn't afraid to do this.

My other half screamed at me, What are you doing! Are you nuts! You need him! As the other said, It's the only way to solve everything. I don't like being confused, feeling vulnerable, and weak.

Dominic answered the door and when he saw it was me; he quickly went to wrap his arms around me but I stopped him. "No." I said, and he looked hurt.

Stop! You're going to regret this!

"I've just..I came over to say...I just wanted to say goodbye. I..I just..It wasn't suppose to be, I mean we aren't." Said the me I didn't know, or understand. He looked hurt, and the look on his face made me want to just hold him.

As I turned around to walk back to my house, I felt the other half of me leave me. It was going to stay with him, next door to me.

And I knew, just knew that I'd never be the same.

Some part of me wanted him to just walk up behind me and wrap his strong arms around me and tell me not to leave, to stay with him. That we can make it work.

But, I was unaware of the little piece in the back of my head that told me we were working out, but it was just me.

Mariella, the strong coward.

Wonderful.