Carved My Name

A note to the left of me. I didn't expect Jacque to stay with me the entire night. I wouldn't have mind of it if he did. At least he stayed with me for most of it; being my support system/someone keeping me safe. He's been there for me so many times. He deserves a chance to be with me, more than friends or business partners.

I put on some baggy black basketball pants and a grey/white element tee. I yawned while brushing my teeth and my hair. All cleaned up I walked downstairs to make breakfast for everyone. My mind is in such a mess. I barely paid attention to what I was doing. At least the attention I did give didn't end up with me burning myself or the food.

Setting the plates out for everyone but myself, slowly people came down all cleaned up and ready to eat. Just for the hell of being nice, they smiled to me. I gave them the slightest nod to them and turned back to the cooking. Like last night, I laid out all the food for the rest of my guests came down. The last ones arriving being Claire and Nollia. Nollia hopped around like crazy, seeing all the people and smelling all the food.

"Hi mommy." Claire yawned, rubbing her eyes and walking to me.

"Hello princess." I replied and picked her up in my arms. Her head rested on my shoulder, her little legs wrapped around my little waist.

Taking her plate and my drink, I sat down in the outside patio table. The dinning room that we ate last night is just somewhere I don't want to me. Besides, the patio table outside fits us all. It's warm outside too, unlike last night. The sun isn't too bright either. It's nice weather to eat outside.

Claire half asleep on my shoulder, I carefully put her plate down and went back in the kitchen to get my medicine basket. I also grabbed the house phone and my cell phone. Technically, I'm still working. My only days off are when people can't reach me; i.e., when I'm on some plane going from here to Helsinki.

"Claire, Claire. You need to wake up princess." I cooed in her ear softly.

"I don't wanna."

"Claire, baby, I made you something special."

"Will I like it?"

"Of course you will baby." Claire groaned and rubbed her eyes. A second later she was back on my shoulder. "Claire Jane Norris, I'm taking you to school later than you should. Please wake up for mommy and eat. You're going to like what I made you."

Claire sighed and removed herself from me. I wrapped the blanket around her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Claire's eyes instantly glittered when she saw what I made her. I know all her favorites and the specific ways she likes them. Taking the powder sugar container, I gingerly sifted some over her fruit and pancakes.

Felling the guilt this morning I over did it on the options of eating. I made many variations of pancakes. Blueberry, mixed berry, chocolate chip, regular, banana, and banana nut. I gave Claire her three favorites shaped into stars. I also made two kinds of fruit salad. One of them I spiked for the hell of it. Then of course was bread, English muffins, bagels, muffins, ham/turkey to put on the bread.

Drinks. I went crazy with that too. Vitamin water, sobe, orange juice, cranberry, apple, grape, too many juices to count. I laid out different blends of coffee. Some from starbucks and some imported from Columbia. Only the best. I felt bad for what happened last night. Dinner was completely ruined and this is to make up for it.

"Aren't you eating darling?" I shook my head at Jyrki.

"Girls like me don't eat."

"You should, if you're about to take your medicine." I stayed silent at how much Jyrki is right.

"Did you-" I rose my hand up to the skank.

"Not today. Keep your mouth shut about me." I got up and picked up the bouncing dog from where the skank was sitting.

I held Nollia in my arms and walked out back. I fumbled with the latch to the wire that kept her from running away. I didn't see my best friend heading this way. Finally unhooking the latch and hooking it on to Nollia's tags, I saw the crazy brunette already at the table.

"Queen of Scotland! You have a call!" I jogged to Jenna and took my phone from her hands.



"Who are you?" I asked to the girl across for me.

"Krista, Jussi-"

"Oh! You're the girl." I sickly said interrupting one of the 69 Eyes. Already, I don't like her.

"Auntie Jenna, can you help me with the can?" I smiled to Claire and overloaded her star shaped pancakes with the non-fat, low calorie whipped cream.

God damn Jussi. You changed her. She's more worried about her figure now. She's an anorexic veteran; doing this dieting, fat awareness and calorie counting shit longer than most people I know. She's skinny enough to be a model, just too messed up in the head and missing a few inches.

"You seem very close with... her." Krista quietly said. She's desperately trying to make small talk.

"We've been best friends since before we were babies." I filled an extra plate up with food for myself.

I love whatever food Antoinette makes or has in her refrigerator. I'm positive that all of this on the table, she made. Those gigantic muffins are her specialty. The only thing store bought is the bread, spreadings, and fruit. The anorexic girl is a saint. She's entitled to so much more than she's getting.

"Is everything okay mommy?" Claire looked up her mom. Antoinette softly smiled to Claire and sat on my lap. The girl weighs as much as ten year old; maybe less depending on the type of ten year old.

"Only work pumpkin. Hey, how about you stay home instead of going to school today?"

"Really?!"

"Uh huh princess; unless Auntie Jenna wants to take you." I gulped at her twisted smirk.

"Claire, I love you, but you can stay home."

"Yay!" Claire clapped.

"But!"

Of course, Antoinette always puts a 'but' in when she has some important condition.

"You need to be quiet. Mommy has some very important work to do today. I need little to almost no distractions."

"Okay. Can I watch Finding Nemo in your room?"

"You bet you can."

"Ugh!" I said like a jealous teen. "Can I watch Finding Nemo?"

"Sure." Antoinette shrugged her shoulder and soon got up to clean up empty plates.

She's a good hostess. And after what happened last night, Jacque told me, she's trying to redeem herself. She doesn't need to that, especially towards Jussi and his girlfriend of five years. They should be redeeming themselves to her. It’s their fault she's all fucked up in the head.