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We were both nicely asleep, and had been for the past three hours. After the other session of sex that we had once we’d got into bed, which had been after the exotic lap dancing, which had been after the 5 minutes of snogging whilst on the sofa. God. This was really turning out to be quite something. And he was really full of surprises. Everytime he wanted to try something new. And he was always full of some new and interesting idea that we could try. Sometimes incredibly painful, sometimes very very good, to the point that we thought we could make a new Karma Sutra book for gays.

The phone rang.

It was half past fucking three.

I stumbled through to the hallway and punched the answer button.
“Do you have any idea what time it is?”
A deep voice answered.
“It is 27 minutes past three, and you have been having intercourse with your new partner, Darren, for the past two hours. Before you went to sleep for three.”
Oh My Fucking God.
“Who are you?” My pulse was racing.
There was a pause.
“We are MI6, and we need your help.”