If you are not the one

“Kyle?!”, Amber called when we got to her house that afternoon.

“Yeah?”, he called, appearing behind the wall that led to the TV room.

“Where’s Tristan?”, she asked, and he shrugged, walking closer to us.

“So this is the babe I’m supposedly dating.”, he stated, looking me up and down.

Luckily we had gone back to my house first after school, so I had changed into my black skinny jeans and a red tank top with white flats. My dark hair hung down my back, and Amber had applied only eyeliner and lip gloss. I studied him as well. He was well-built, tanned, with a mop of unruly blond hair and dark blue eyes. He was wearing only a pair of swimming trunks, showing off his six pack. Obviously a surfer. I rolled my eyes, and glared at Amber. She was too busy looking on with delight to notice my murderous look.

“I’ll be in the kitchen. You two go talk a bit.”, Amber said, shoving us into the den.

He took my hand and led me to the couch, pulling me down next to him. I shifted to the end of the couch, trying to make the space between us bigger, but he just shifted until he sat tightly next to me.

“So, you wanna date me, baby?”, Kyle asked with a wolfish smile.

“Ugh, only pretend to date you.”, I corrected him.

“Who knows, maybe it works out so well, that we’ll start dating permanently. You look like a true innocent girl. I eat them for breakfast.”, he whispered in my ear, putting his hand on my leg.

“What the hell are you doing?”, I said angrily.

“Just practicing, babe. Looks like I’ve got a cat on my hands. I’m going to love taming you.”, he said with a delighted smirk.

“We’re not supposed to be practicing, we’re supposed to get to know each other.”, I reminded him, shoving his hand off of my leg.

“Yeah, whatever.”, he said with a sigh, shifting away from me.

I sighed with relief, and made myself more comfortable. We chatted for a few minutes, sharing only the most important information about each other, in case someone was to ask something.

“How are you two getting along?”, Amber asked when she walked into the den half an hour later.
“Not too bad, although we had to straighten a few things out at first.”, I said, glaring at Kyle who had the decency to look sheepish.

“Yeah, about that. I’m sorry.”, he apologized.

“It’s okay. Listen, I’m gonna go home. Thanks for doing this, Kyle. See you, Amber.”, I said as I stood up, and walked to the front door.

I opened the door, and heard their voices. I closed the door with a bang so that they thought I had gone out, and listened to what they were saying.

“Kyle, I told you that she is innocent, and that she likes someone else already. You’re not going to be doing anything stupid at the party Friday, do you understand me?”, I heard Amber say angrily.

“Yeah, I hear you. But she’s kinda hot, Amber. Why can’t I like her?”, Kyle pleaded.

“Because she won’t like you back. And if it looks like she does, she’s only acting, so don’t get your hopes up, and don’t ruin this.”, she replied, and I heard the TV go on.

I opened the door quietly and slipped out, closing it softly again behind me. I hope this is going to work, because if it doesn’t, my life will be ruined, and I would have put up with the idiot for nothing. I walked home quickly, a cold wind from the sea was blowing inland, and I shivered.

“I’m home!”, I called out when I entered our house.

“We’re in the kitchen, honey!”, my mom called.

The smell of a cake baking wafted through the house, and I hurried to the kitchen.

“Hey mom.”, I greeted, kissing her on her soft cheek.

“Hello honey. How was your first day back at school?”, my mom asked when I sat down at the kitchen table.

“Eventful. How was your day?”, I asked, grabbing an apple and taking a bite.

“Busy. Why, what happened?”, she asked, bending to look at the cake.

Kevin was also now extremely interested, and I stuck my tongue out at him. He turned his face away, disgusted, and I smirked.

“Well, Mikey finally asked Chelsea out, and we met Gerard’s new girlfriend today. She’s kinda cool.”, I said, leaving the parts out where Amber had basically ruined my life.

I was proud at myself, my voice hadn’t wavered once when I told my mom about Gee’s new girlfriend. I took the last bite of the apple and threw the rest in the dustbin.

“That’s nice, hon. No, Kevin, don’t touch the cake!”, my mom exclaimed, smacking his hand away.

I snorted with laughter, and Kevin jumped up from the chair, walking threateningly towards me. I saw him grabbing the water bottle from the counter, and I ran out to the back, squealing when the cold water hit me. He chased me around, trying to throw me with more water. He gave up when he had emptied the whole bottle, and walked back to the house. I followed him with a victorious laugh, my clothes already drying from the first blow.

“Dinner is ready, dear.”, my mom said when I walked into the kitchen.

“Okay.”, I said, and helped her carry the food to the dining room.

Kevin was already seated, and my mom and I sat down, taking hands and praying.

“So, are you going to Amber’s party on Friday?”, Kevin asked after a while, his mouth full of food.

“Yeah, are you going?”, I asked.

“No, Alecia and I have a date. Hey mom, where’s dad?”, he asked suddenly.

“On a business trip. He’s coming back next week. Do you want money for a new outfit, sweetie?”, my mom asked me.

“That would be great, thanks mom.”, I said happily.

We finished eating, and I helped my mom clear the table. Lucky for me it was Kevin’s turn to do the dishes, so I went to the den to see what was showing. I looked up when I heard my mom come in, and smiled at her.

“Here’s two hundred dollars, hon. Go buy something that will knock Gerard’s knees out from underneath him.”, she said with a wink.

“Thanks, mom. How did you know that I like him?”, I asked curiously.

“I know you, hon.”, she said and walked out.

I watched TV for a while more, and turned it off after an hour of mindless sitcoms. I walked up to my room and dressed in my Snoopy pajamas. I brushed once through my hair before crawling into bed, and fell asleep with Gerard’s face still fresh in my mind.

“Ugh, shut up you annoying thing!”, I yelled, smacking my alarm clock and sending it crashing to the floor where it broke into pieces.

I looked over my bed, and groaned. That was the fifth alarm clock this year that I’ve broken. I heard a text message come through on my cell phone, and picked it up to check who it was from.

“Remember to dress sexy!”, I read from Amber.

I growled and jumped out of bed, careful not to step on the pieces lying on the floor. I took a quick shower and blow dried my hair while I rummaged through my cupboard for something to wear that fit her description. I finally decided on my black skinny jeans and a red silk T-shirt that my dad had brought for me from Ohio. I had worn it only once, so it was practically brand new. I slipped my feet into my favorite black pumps with small white skulls, and applied eyeliner and lip gloss, and leaving my hair down. I grabbed my black jacket and my book bag and bounded down the stairs, shoving the two hundred dollars in my pocket.

“Are you ready yet?”, Kevin called, not knowing that I was already downstairs, waiting for him.

“Yeah.”, I replied.

We walked to his car in silence, and I turned on the radio the moment we got in. He didn’t attempt to talk to me, and neither did I. It was just the way our relationship was. At school we acted as if we didn’t know each other, but Bob was right when he said that Kevin will kill me when he finds out I’m dating a college guy.

We drove into the school parking lot, and I jumped out, slamming the door behind me, and hurrying to the building. I was pulled to the side roughly, and looked up in surprise to see that it was Gee. My eyes narrowed suspiciously while he looked around cautiously.

“What do you want, Gee?”, I snapped, bringing his attention back to me.

“Nothing. So, Shell. A boyfriend, huh? Tell me more about him.”, he demanded as he pulled me along to our lockers.

“Why would you care, Gee? Why the sudden interest?”, I asked curiously.

“I – I don’t know.”, he said after a moment.

I pulled my arm out of his grip and walked away, leaving him standing alone in the middle of the hall. I didn’t look back once, to scared that he would notice the irritating tears threatening to spill over. I hurried to my locker, and shoved all the necessary books into my bag. I heard Amber’s laugh, and slammed my locker shut, eager to join her.

“Hey girl.”, Amber greeted when I reached her.

“Hey. Do you want to come to the mall with me this afternoon?”, I asked, leaning against the locker next to hers.

“Sure. Going to shop for a new outfit?”, she asked just as Chelsea, Kate and Irena arrived.

“You girls wane come with us to the mall after school?”, I asked them, and they all nodded enthusiastically.

We chatted for a while until the guys arrived, Gee with Lynn-Z hanging off his arm. The ground was suddenly immensely interesting, and I continued staring at it the whole time they all stood talking loudly. Mikey came to stand beside me, putting his arm around my shoulders.

“Are you all right, Shell?”, he whispered, shoving his glasses up his nose.

“Yeah, Mikes.”, I replied softly, not meeting his eyes.

I was scared that if I looked into his soft brown eyes that I would break down and cry, spilling everything to him, including the fact that I loved his brother, and that I always have. He squeezed my shoulders gently before going to stand with Chelsea again. I rubbed my throat, trying to get rid of the knot that was sitting there. I felt someone’s eyes on me, and looked up to see Gerard staring at me. I looked down quickly again.

The senior president talked over the intercom, and started playing music. It was one of my favorite songs of The All-American Rejects, ‘It Ends Tonight’. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the locker for a second, before turning and sprinting down the hall without a word to anyone. I heard them call after me, but I ignored them, just concentrating not to trip over my feet as I ran to the girls bathroom. I hid in one of the stalls, finally giving in to the tears.

“Shell?”, I heard Amber call out quietly.

I stood up and opened the stall door, walking out but not looking at her as I walked to the mirrors. I washed my face, but didn’t bother to put on new eyeliner, and finally turned to face her. Her face was sympathetic, and I nearly started crying again. She walked quickly towards me, and pulled me into a tight hug.

“I’ll make sure he falls for you, if it’s the last thing I do.”, she whispered fiercely.

“B- but what about Lynn-Z?”, I stammered.

“Lynn-Z can go to hell, she doesn’t deserve him.”, she snapped, pulling away, and taking my hair out of my face, smiling gently.
“Thanks Amber, but I can’t do that to her. I know what it’s like to lose someone you love.”, I said quietly.

She sighed, and we walked out to our class. ‘It Ends Tonight’ was playing again, and I tried to cut it out. I walked into the History class, and went to sit in the back. Lynn-Z was already there, and she smiled brightly when she saw me.

“Hey, are you all right?”, she whispered when I sat down, just as Mr. Jefferson walked into the classroom.

I nodded, and tried my best to pay attention in class, but my mind kept wandering away to Gerard, wondering what he was thinking about, and why he was suddenly so interested to know about my love life, or more, lack thereof.

“Shell.”, Lynn-Z said, and I looked at her in surprise.

“What?”, I asked dumbly.

“The bell has rung. We have Calculus.”, she said with a weird expression on her face.

I blinked, and made to shove my books back into my bag when I noticed that I hadn’t even bothered to take them out. I slung the bag over my shoulder, and we walked in silence to Calculus. I sat down heavily in my seat, and lay my head on the desk so that I was facing away from Lynn-Z. I heard her sit down next to me, but she didn’t attempt to talk to me again. I closed my aching eyes, and before I knew it, I was sleeping.

“Shell, wake up, girl.”, Lynn-Z said, shaking me.

“Why?”, I grumbled.

“It’s lunch time.”, she said, and I stood up.

We walked to the cafeteria, and I stood with her in the line while she bought her food. She looked questioningly at me, but I acted as if I didn’t notice. We walked to the table where our friends were chatting happily. I sat down and listened to them, all so happy with no cares in the world. I sighed heavily, and rested my head in my hand, looking down in my lap and toying with a loose thread on my jeans.

“Aren’t you gonna eat, Shell?”, Mikey asked me, and I looked up into his worried eyes.

“I’m not hungry.”, I mumbled, looking back down again.

I looked up when I heard Lynn-Z whispering something to Mikey, and saw Gerard looking at me when he heard what she said. His eyes were narrowed as he stared at me, and I quickly turned my gaze away. I could feel Amber’s gaze on me, but I didn’t meet her eyes.

“Shell, can I talk to you for a sec?”, she asked quietly.

I stood up and she followed me out of the cafeteria. We walked outside, and I sat down on the grass where the sun was shining the brightest. She sat down next to me, and for a moment it was silent between us.

“I want to know what’s going on.”, Amber said quietly.

“Nothing.”, I muttered evasively.

“Come on, Shell. This isn’t the way I know you. You always eat at lunch, and you never sleep in your classes. What’s bothering you?”, she asked worriedly.

“I – I just feel a bit down, ‘is all.”, I said softly.

“Are you sure?”, she asked, and when I nodded, she stood up and pulled me up with her.

We walked back to the cafeteria, and we sat down again. The table was silent, and I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. The bell rang, signaling the next period, and I grabbed my bag, and hurried out before anyone could ask me any more questions.

The day passed quickly, and I went to wait at Amber’s locker for the girls to arrive. I plastered a fake smile on my face just in time, and we walked to Chelsea’s car. We all piled in, and she turned the music up high, and everyone started singing along.

“What shop are we going to first?”, Irena asked when we walked into the mall.

“What about YDE?”, Amber suggested, and we walked into the shop.

We browsed for a while, suggesting cute outfits to each other. Amber picked one, and the rest of them all agreed that it would look great on me and that Gerard will be panting. I giggled and took it from her. Luckily we all found outfits there, and we went to fit it on.

I quickly took off my clothes and dressed in the black leggings and long red shirt that was tight at the bodice and flowed out till it reached just beneath my backside. I smiled at the image and turned to see all sides. This particular shade of red brought out flames in my hair. I walked out of the cubicle just as the rest of them walked out as well.

“Shell, you look amazing! Look at your hair!”, Amber exclaimed happily.

“You look great, too.”, I said.

She was wearing a dark denim mini skirt with a tight fitting white sleeveless shirt that emphasized her tan skin. Irena was wearing white leggings with a black slip dress, Kate was wearing black knee-length jeans and a hot pink shirt, and Chelsea was wearing a yellow mini dress.

“We all look stunning!”, Chelsea said happily, and we murmured in agreement.

“Let’s go pay and then we’ll go for shakes or something at the food court.”, Irena suggested.

We quickly dressed back into our normal clothes and went to pay. We were walking to the food court when we heard guys’ voices calling us. I was the first to look back and saw Mikey, Bob, Ray, Frankie and Gee walking towards us.

“Thank goodness Thing isn’t with them.”, Amber said, her voice filled with relief.

“Hey girls.”, Gee said when they reached us, smiling and revealing his perfect teeth.

“Hey babe, what are you guys doing here?”, Chelsea asked Mikey after they had kissed.

“We heard your plans and decided to surprise you.”, he replied, coming to hug me.

We all hugged each other in turn, except Gee and I didn’t hug each other. I saw that had tried to, but I had quickly turned away, pretending that I didn’t see. Amber was busy giving me her best death glare, and I rolled my eyes at her. I didn’t think that I could handle him holding me when I knew he wasn’t mine. We walked to the food court, and they started discussing the party again. I was sticking close to Amber, afraid that Gerard would try talking to me.

“I’ll go order. Shell, will you come help me carry?”, Gerard said when we found a table.

I felt Amber pinch me, and I nodded reluctantly. He smiled brightly, and I followed him, my shoulders hanging. I heard our friends start whispering furiously, and groaned internally. Amber was no doubt explaining her plan to the rest of the guys. I looked back and saw them all nodding their heads enthusiastically. Well, at least they were on my side. Poor Lynn-Z, she wouldn’t know what had hit her.

“Hey, I’d like ten chocolate milkshakes, please.”, Gee said to the guy behind the counter.

I went to stand beside him, careful to make sure we weren’t touching. I saw the guy behind the counter check me out, and he smiled when he saw I was watching. I heard Gerard ground his teeth, but pretended that nothing was amiss. I smiled back at the guy, even though he was about ten years older than me.

“Hey babe.”, he said, leaning with his shoulders on the countertop, and stared at me.

“She’s taken!”, Gerard burst out angrily.

I stared at him with surprise, and smiled apologetically at the cashier. He had a surprised look on his face, that quickly turned beet red.

“Sorry, dude. I didn’t know she was your girlfriend.”, he apologized.

“Yeah, well you shouldn’t be flirting with girls ten years younger than you either.”, he snapped.

“Gee, you know I’m not your girlfriend!”, I exclaimed angrily.

“Shell. Shut it. Dude, can you take this to our table? It’s number ten. Shell, we need to talk.”, Gerard said, pulling me away.

“What about?”, I demanded, trying to stop him from pulling me.

“About what’s going on with you.”, he said, whirling around to face me.

“Nothing’s going on with me.”, I said stubbornly, not meeting his gaze.

“Shell, you can’t lie to me. I’ve known you our whole childhood. If nothing’s going on with you, why the hell did you run off this morning like the Devil himself was chasing you? You refuse to be alone with me or look at me, you never talk to me. You’re crying all the time, today you refused to eat, and Lynn-Z told me you were sleeping in both your double periods, something I know you never do. So don’t you give me that crap that nothing’s going on with you.”, he said angrily.

“Even if something was going on with me, it’s none of your bloody business!”, I snapped, and turned around, walking quickly back to our table.

“What happened?”, Amber asked when I sat down, fuming.

“I don’t want to talk about it. Sorry guys, but I’m going home.”, I said, jumping up suddenly.

“How?”, Chelsea asked.

“I’ll take the bus.”, I said, grabbing my bags and practically running out.