Fortuitous

"Sweetie, I'm just saying. I want you home."

What was I supposed to say to that?
"Sorry, Mom, but I have to stay here to be a slave to my abusive boyfriend?"
She didn't know how hard it was to leave him.
Leaving him, even if it was just to go some place by myself, was as hard as it would be to break up with him.
The only times I was ever truly alone were during my classes and when I was in the bathroom.
That moment while I was talking to my mother was a very rare exception.
He was in the shower and I took my opportunity to call my mother.
I always called her whenever he left me alone, even if it was for a few minutes.
She never mentioned me coming home, even though I had been gone for over a month.
But I'm positive the previous night's occurrences made her say ask.

"I just…I don't know, Mom."

"You are my daughter. I want you home."

"Mom…"

"Listen to me…you're young. You can always have dozens of boyfriends but you will only have one mother."

"I know, Mom."

"It hurts me that I even have to ask this, but I need to. Do you promise me that you'll answer honestly?"

I felt my heart pounding in my chest.
She was going to ask me.
My mother was about to ask me the question I was dreading.
She was about to ask me if my darling hit me.
I could never straight out lie to my mother.
I always had the ability to not tell the entire truth.
But that's not the same as a full out lie.
I couldn't lie to my mother.
All my life, she was my best friend.
She was all I had.
I couldn't lie to her.
And she was about to ask me the question.

"Umm…sure."

"Do you love him?"

I couldn't explain what exactly happened to me at that moment.
I let out a sigh of relief. I didn't realize that I had been holding my breath.
But at that same moment, something happened.
Seriously…honestly…truly…my heart broke.
In every single moment that I thought he would be caught, I grew terrified.
And every time he wasn't, I was disappointed.
That was the second time I thought my mother would save my life.
And that was the second time I was heartbroken that she couldn't.
Did she not notice my bruises, my limps, my broken smile, my glazed over eyes?

"Yeah, Mom. I love him."

A lie and truth in one sentence.
I hated him with every fiber of my being.
I couldn't stand him for what he did to me.
But I loved him for what he was.
He was the boy who showed me what love was.
I couldn't forget that.

"How do you know?"

"Nobody has ever treated me like he does."
Seriously. Nobody has ever hit me to the point on unconsciousness just to kiss me like nothing happened before.

"Well…still. It has been over a month. You're only fifteen. You need to be home."

"I don't know, Mom."

I heard the door slam from inside.
My love was done with his shower and was looking for me.
I turned to see him leaning against the door post.
I looked down to stare at my feet under the glistening water in the pool.

"I heard the door slam. Was that caused by your boy wonder?"

"Yeah, Mom."

"Let me speak to him."

I closed my eyes.
I silently presented the phone towards him without saying a word or even turning around.
His soft footsteps came toward me before he gently took the phone out of my hand.
He sniffed once as he put the phone to his ear and squatted down behind me.

"Hello?"

He slowly began to stroke my neck from where my hair was up to my bare mid-back.
He mumbled some things to my mother as he played with the hem of my tank top.
He grunted once while he sat down properly with me between his legs and held his arm across my stomach.

"Yes, ma'am."

He began to lift his hand underneath my top to make small patterns with his fingertips on my stomach.
I grew shaky at his touch. Granted, I was still a virgin but every time he touched me like this, it made me feel even more so.

"I just want to look after her, ma'am. I want to give her the best."

Wrong answer.
My mother was going to yell at him, thinking he meant that my original home was basically crap.
I was right. I heard her voice from where I was.
It was rare to hear my mother's voice raised. She always had a soft and professional tone.

"Ma'am, I apologize. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I love your daughter very much and I enjoy her presence, that's all."

I was a master at decoding his voice.
But even I couldn't tell if he meant that or if he was sweet talking her.

"I understand, ma'am. It was nice talking to you."

He handed me back the phone.
I tensed up in confusion and worry. Who knew if he would blow up again?
I put the phone to my ear.

"Mom?"

"I'll see you tomorrow, sweetie. I'll make you your favorite."

I closed my eyes in relief.
I could finally go home.
Charlie and Sheba would be happy.
Anthony would be annoyed.
My dad would be able to annoy me again.

"You, cook? How shocking."

"Shut up, girl-child. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you."

"I love you too, Mommy."

I ended the call with a simple push of a button.
My shoulders were practically by my ears from the tension.
He rubbed my shoulders, making me relax and to lean against his chest.
He nuzzled my neck before kissing my shoulder.

"I love you. You know that right?"

"Sometimes," I replied honestly.

"I know I don't show it. But I meant what I said. I feel whole when you're here."

"What do you mean?"

"You remind me of my mom. I just miss her and I see her in you."

"Baby…it's okay that you miss her. But…I have my own family. I care about you and I do want to spend the rest of my life with you but I need to see them too."

"I've kept you a prisoner, haven't I?" he mumbled against my shoulder.

"Is that rhetorical or do you want an answer?"

"Rhetorical."

A moment of silence passed between us.
The only sounds were that of birds, a plane, and our feet moving in the water.
I licked my lips before I shivered at his touch at the hem of my shorts.

"I love you, Alley."

"I love you too, Brian."