Your Hand in Mine

Normal/ Gracie's P.O.V.
"Gabe has been staring at you. Why don't you go say hi?" Vicky asked, pointing in his direction.

I looked over and for a second, our eyes connected. For that moment, it felt okay, but as soon as he looked away, shamefully, the pain was restored in my heart.

"Yeah, maybe later. I need to get some air." I said, quickly, walking away and through the door leading outside.

As soon as I opened the door, I pulled my hood over my head seeing that it was sprinkling. My feet carried me farther than expected, and I was soon at the park- 3 blocks away. As I looked over towards our Gabe's house, my stomach began to knot up. I began to walk around the trail, not even having a single thought- but that didn't stop the pain I felt in my hurt. Seeing that I had been gone for a while, I turned back, walking back to the house. But as I turned the corner a block up- I ran in to no one other than Gabe Saporta himself. Our eye locked in to a blank stare. No one said anything, no one moved. We just stood there in the cold looking directly in each others eyes.

I could feel my chest tighten, and for some reason it got harder to breathe. There was a part of me that wanted to reach out and hug him and another that just wanted to run away because to be honest, standing here staring at your best friend Ex- Best friend...just kind of...hurt.

"Sorry." I said, lowering my head and walking past him.

I let my hair fall in my face, and I could feel the tears begin to cloud my eyes. But I didn't move. It was like I was stuck there, and I scream at my body to move. I begged and pleaded because I couldn't take standing in front of him anymore. I was going to prove I didn't need. I needed to prove that he couldn't control my happiness, and then it slapped me in the face.

Gabe Saporta is my [number one] happiness.

Of course I know I can survive without him. [But who said it'd be easy.] And yeah, I can be happy without him. [But just now as happy.] A secret I've been hiding, losing him has made my feelings for him stronger. [And I don't know if that is a good thing.]

"It's fine." I heard him mutter and walk away.

Nothing will ever be the same.

My head raised, a single tear falling from my cheek, as I looked at him back. He's never walked away before. This whole time was me walking away because of him, but I hadn't seen him walk away from me. Let me tell you, it didn't feel like you did when you were five and scraped your knee. This was real pain. My legs still denied me any mobility for a few minutes before I was able to walk back to the party. I walked over to the bar and got some drinks- things I couldn't handle because my nature has always been 'too sweet for strong stuff.' Atleast that is what Gabe said when he'd give me a 'girl' drink. I could see William shoot me a confused look from across the room.

I faked a smile and took my drinks outside and began to down them- mixing them ever so often and relaxing everytime I felt the burning in my throat when I swallowed. It soothed me by the slight pained sensation that got stronger with more than what I needed in my mouth and the stronger the drink. It soothed me by with each sip that I took, my thoughts traveled less on to meaningless matters if matters at all, and my whole world slipped from underneath my feet.

But I think it's already done that, and now I'm just laying straight on my face. Perhaps now I am just sinking lower and lower in to the ground. Maybe one day no one will see me, so I can make my disappearance with out a sound. My vision began to blur. Maybe that is why I didn't notice who was sitting beside me doing the same exact thing.

"What's wrong with you?" I slurred in a mix of drunkness and depression.

"I lost my best friend." The man as well slurred, surely drunk.

Lookin in his direction, I once again met eyes with no other than Gabe Saporta.