Your Hand in Mine

I twisted in the sheets of my bed, whimpering, as the dream continued to play- except in the dream chris came back that night. He had found me at Gabes place.

"Gracie. Gracie." A voice woke me out of my nightmare.

My eyes fluttered open to see Gabe. I sighed in relief.

"Are you okay?" He asked, and that is when I felt tears trickling down my face.

I nodded no, and he instantly wrapped his arms around me.

"Shh. It's okay, baby girl, it's okay."

The most comforting thing is when calls me 'Baby Girl'. Not baby- Baby girl. It makes me feel I am apart of him like he's apart of me. It makes me feel like I won't lose him- like I mean something. I don't know, but I get this weird feeling. I love it.

"He-He came back that night....I dreamed he came back that night, Gabe!" I cried into his chest, frantically.

He rubbed my back, comfortingly. "Who, Gracie?"

"C-C-Chris." I said, looking up at his face which bleached out- he was as pale as a ghost.

His grip tightened, "He'll never hurt you again, Gracie. I'll-I'll kill him, I swear. You're with me, now. He won't get you. I promise. I'll take my life if he ever has the chance to touch you!"

"Gabe...I-..." I didn't even know what to say, but the heart in my chest was enough to kill me.

I pushed him off of me and hurriedly ran to the bathroom, making it quick enough to spill my guts into the toilet. I sighed as I was finally capable of breathing and relaxing. He rubbed my forehead, brushing my bangs out of my face.

"I'm so sorry that had to happen to you Gracie, but it's been four years now- You'll never go through that again."

I smiled. Four years. It's been four years since that terrible, fateful night. Gabe was still in Midtown- the show we snuck away to see. He was the guy that made me get lost in his wonderful music. It was his music that grasped at my heart and mind and made me just...dance.

It was him that saved me. After that night at the hospital and him joking around with me in hopes of raising my spirits- something in his eyes told me it was a blessing that I had met him and until this day it has been. I stayed at his house that night after crying to him about how my dad was going to kill me once he found all of this out, how he was going to be so disappointed and ashamed of me. How my mother would be if she were still around. I didn't know how I was being so stupid, but he told me we've all made mistakes, that I was just trying to have fun like anyone- I just didn't see that anything could go wrong.

That night turned into a couple nights before Gabe called my father and explained the whole thing to him. My father stayed silent on the phone and didn't speak. When I came home that day, he just stared at me and shook his head- wrapped me in an embrace, cried, and said he didn't know what to do. What was there to do? It already happened. Gabe checked up on me while he was touring with the band, and all the nights and days we'd spend together just having fun and hanging are the best memories of my life. When he left the band a few short months later, I moved in with him- away from home. I'm suprised my father let me, but he did. He trusted Gabe, too.
Since then, life has been great. Over the top. Gabe is my best friend, and I couldn't ask for a better one.

I caught him smiling down at me and smile even bigger. He had this weird twinkle in his eyes, and he rubbed my cheek.

"I love you, Gracie Mae." He told me with the cutest expression.

"I love you Gabriel Eduardo."

He chuckled and pressed his forehead to mine. Our lips close to touching- inches away. My breath shortened, and my heart raced. He only smiled.

"Lets get back to bed." He said and helped me up from the bathroom floor.

I nodded and greatfully took his hand, standing up, and walking out of the bathroom with him. I crawled back into my bed, as he turned the light out and shut the door.
I tossed and turned in my bed. My mind couldn't escape Gabe. I wanted to be with him- in his arms or just near him, hearing his heartbeat and watching the up and down of his chest. I wanted .to see him busy in his studies, writing, something. I just couldn't take this cold room any longer. I slowly crept out of bed and scurried, quietly, down the hall. His light was on, and I heard him playing guitar. A song I soon recognized.

"....Tried to forget about
Living a good life
Free of positions
Make her feel vulnerable
She's loved and she's lost
She failed in the call
She seeks to find the answer, now.

Woke up today around 6 in the morning
Violently shaking, remembering what she once saw
She bared it alone
So she carried on
She seeks to find the answers for...

The reasons her life did not turn out...
More like a movie
She's trying to forget it all

She tries to erase
She tries to replace
How it feels, but I...
Know she can never go home
She tries to erase
She tries to replace
How it feels, but I...
Know she can never go home

The reasons her life did not turn out...
More like a movie
She's trying to forget it all
I don't believe in anything
But I believe in you
I never trusted anyone
But some how I trust you
And if I fall away, someday you might find me
If I fall away, someday..." He sang, clutching on to his guitar.

He wrote that song for me, about me, four years ago when he was still in Midtown. I opened the door more and walked in. He turned to look at me, tears glinting in his eyes.

"Gabe." I barely whispered, shocked. "Why are you crying?"

I rushed over to him and instantly put him in his arms.

"I hate that, that had to happen to you, and....there's something I never told you." He said, pulling away and looking me in the eyes.
I wiped away a tear that had fell down his cheeks, as he faught more back.

"That night when...when I helped you. I...I was going to...urm...I was going to ki-ki-..."

"You were going to what?" I asked, fear stricken.
"I was going to..end it." He whispered, looking down.

"Wh-What?" My quivering voice manage to spit out.

"I was going to end it all! I was going to fucking kill myself! I was tired of everything! You...you always fucking thank me- and you...you say I'm so great. You..you say I'm your saviour....but I'm not. You saved me, and I'm just a mess. I...I wouldn't have e-even been able to s-save you that night if it wer-weren't for..for T-Ty-Tyler finding out wh-what I was going to do."

I choked back tears now. "Re-really?"

"But that's not all, Gracie. Tonight...I saw your ex-boyfriend, and I...I couldn't help but hit him. It's like I couldn't even stop. And before I knew it, I was speeding in the car- hoping that my life would end. Tonight, I tried killing myself again, Gracie." He gulped, choking on tears, "and it scared me."