Your Hand in Mine

It's been 19 hours- 19 blood hours, and I'm still in shock. I had ran into Nick. Nick being my ex boyfriend- the brother of the man that raped me. I hadn't seen him since I was fifteen years of age. He was my childhood crush- my first love, and the one I was so willing to give up. He was the one that embarked the one that killed my life and made my life- by his brother destroying everything I knew, he just gave me something better. He gave me Gabe, Ryland, William, Adam, Alex, Vicky, and so on and so forth. And now? I lost Gabe. I lost William or more like I chose to give him up. I lost Alex (Gaskarth) once again, and now I am getting back Nick?! I didn't want that. I didn't want to see him. I wish I could kick him in the balls, but I haven't even gave him a chance. I mean, he wasn't the one that did it, right? No. So maybe I should talk to him. Did he hate me now? Does he remember how we were so in love? How we were so willing to give it up to each other? (not sexual.)

I continued playing my guitar- something I've been enjoying a lot again.
Same Blood by The Academy Is... went off, ripping my thoughts back into reality. I gently sat down my guitar and grabbed my phone.
The caller ID read 'Gabe'.
I gulped, my heart jumping in my chest.

"Hello?"

"H-hey this is G-gabe. " He stuttered, timidly. "Don'tHangUp!"

"What- what do you want?" I asked, my words coming out more weak than expected.

"I just..wa-wanted to talk."

"Oh."

It was quiet for a couple minutes. Except before this whenever we got silent, it wasn’t awkward. It was as if we were talking through our silence or simply enjoying each others company, but now, you could cut the tension with a knife.

"I- I...How have you been?"

"Terrific." I spat, hatefully.

"G-good."

"Look, I've got to go." I said, hanging up and instantly regretting I had.

I could have him back. He wants to try. Nates voice played in my head, as I thought back to this morning.

'He misses you too.'

Sighing, I stood up, threw on a jacket, and grabbed my ipod. I made sure to leave the house quietly, not waking Vicky up. As I made way up the street, I turned my ipod on full blast, making my way to the park. The city lights blurred my vision as I walked lethargically to the park. As I got to the park, I sat down at the same tree I had this morning and threw my head down into my arms, getting a big wiff of...gabe? I looked at the jacket and noticed that it was his favorite purple hoodie. ...Maybe I should return it. It's his. I need my things too.

Who am I kidding, right? It'd give me an excuse to see him, to apologize for hanging up in such a rush. So I picked myself off the ground and started walking across the park to the street and let my feet carry me to where he was. As I walked closer and closer to his house, noticing everything I used to look at everyday, my eyes began to water. I just wish I could have everything, but I don't know if I could ever trust Gabe again. I sighed as the clenching in my chest just got harder. I could hear the beating in my chest pick up, and I stopped as I came upon his street and just stared for a few minutes becoming nervous and wondering if I should go on.