What Happens Under The Sun

''This was great, I had a lot of fun.'' I told Derek as we stood at my door.

''Me too. We should do it again sometime.'' He replied.

''I'd like that.'' I said with a soft smile.

It was quiet then and I knew what was coming. What I didn't know was how I was going to react.

Derek started to lean towards me and-

*~Jessica's Point of View~*

BURN!

Derek leaned in to kiss Kate and she totally gave him the cheek. I saw the ''I'm totally kicking myself for that'' look flash across her face before she said goodbye and he headed off down the hallway.

I jumped back from the door as she opened it and tried to look casual.

''Did you see that!'' she demanded. She sounded angry, but disappointed at the same time.

''What do you think I was watching through the peephole or something?'' I asked. That was exactly what I had been doing.

''I gave him the cheek! I can't believe I did that!'' she said, kicking off her shoes and walking towards the couch. I followed her.

''We had such a great time. We talked, we laughed, we got along so well, like we clicked! And then he goes to kiss me and I turn the cheek! He probably thinks I hate him or something.'' She said as she flopped down.

''It sounds like you had fun though. Why'd you give him the cheek?'' I asked. I was sitting next to her.

''It's not like I planned it. He was leaning in and I had every intention of my lips meeting his, and then this voice came out of nowhere and just started screaming Tom's name. It was like that day on the beach when Jordan came to talk to me and I turned him down because I kept thinking about Tom!'' she told me.

''Kate…'' I trailed off.

*~Kate's Point of View~*

''I know what you're going to say Jessica, and just don't, please. I'm confused enough as to why Tom's name started ringing through my head and I don't need you to try and tell me that I have feelings for him when I don't.'' I said.
I didn't want to sound mean, but I really didn't need Jessica to interpret my thoughts for me.

''I'll leave you to it then.'' She said understandingly and I shot her a grateful look.

I stalked off to my room, trying desperately to figure out a reason for my actions. It was late and I was tired and it was a lot to process. A hundred different reasons ran through my head as I got changed into my pajamas.

I felt a cold sore coming on, I wasn't ready to be that close with Derek, I was afraid of commitment, he might have herpes, he reminded me of my dad, his lips were too wet. They were shitty excuses and I knew it.

There was another one, the one that Jessica would have suggested, the one that I didn't want to hear, the one that I refused to believe. The one that involved Tom and me being more than just fuck buddies.

I needed to clear my head out, focus on something else. It had been a while since my trip and I still hadn't unpacked. There was my escape.

I pulled my suitcases out of the corner in my room and hoisted them up onto my bed. I unzipped the first one and set to work, being sure to concentrate fully on what I was doing. I sorted my clothes into piles that I deemed 'dirty', 'clean', and 'I have no clue'.

I worked through the first suitcase and moved onto the second. I remembered packing mostly dirty clothes in here. I sorted through the clothes, putting them into my piles, concentrating on trying to remember if I'd worn them. My mind was completely occupied with the sorting process, until I pulled out one of my shirts and found something I didn't even know I had.

It was one of Tom's shirts. Probably the one I had worn back from his room one morning or another. I pulled it out slowly and looked at it. Big mistake. A hundred and one memories flew back at me like a swarm of angry bees.

It was like being teleported back to another time. Back to when Tom and I could feel for each other and it didn't matter. Back to when we could lie in silence for hours simply because nothing needed to be said. Back to when I had let my guard down and cared for him…I had cared so much.

I shook the memories away. I was confused enough as it was and I didn't need them clogging up my head.

I looked at his shirt again. He'd probably want it back. I could take it to him. But then again, he didn't seem to notice that it was missing, so clearly it didn't mean that much to him.

I walked towards my garbage can with the intent of throwing away the cursed memory bringer, but stopped halfway. I looked at the shirt, and then at the garbage can. What if he suddenly remembered that I had this and wanted it back?Maybe I wanted to keep this one memory. Maybe he'd want it back.

Maybe I could hold onto it, just for a little while.