The Morbid Chronicles of Camp Lame
001
Dear "Diary", June 8, 2008
My mom suddenly got a bright idea to sign me up for summer camp today.
She didn't even ask me if I wanted to go.
She also bought this stupid book covered with butterflies and is trying to force
me to write in it.
I only agreed because I think it'll be cool to read what I thought was important now,
in ten years.
I said to her that I most-likely wasn't going to go to camp, because I had better things to
do.
She agrued, stating that my "better things to do" consisted of laying about the house, and
complaining of boredom.
I asked her why it was okay for her to do it while my dad was deployed to Iraq, and not me.
She made up some excuse about her "missing the other half of her soul", and that I'm too
young to understand.
Then I asked her why she doesn't just go to camp herself, and I could stay home, so
she wouldn't have to see me flattening down her couch.
She said it was good for me to get out and do things.
I said, "Same for you!"
She sent me to my room, where I'm currently still sentenced.
I thought I'd just record that in here.
I'll be back; Mom's calling me downstairs.
Hopefully she won't start talking about camp,
because I'll just ignore her and get sent back here again.
Don't be surprised if I'm back in five minutes.
~ Lotty M.
Dear "diary", June 9, 2008
Today Mom took me to the Wal*Mart to buy
stupid camp supplies.
I told her that there was no point in wasting her money on supplies, because I wasn't going.
Then I complained about getting clothes from Wal*Mart.
She asked me, "Why fight about it, when you're not going to wear them anyways?"
I said, "Good point." And i thought to myself, I'll just pick out the ugliest things,
and insist on getting two of everything, so she'll waste her money.
She dragged me to the makeup aisle, and insisted on grabbing the 'spf 56' sunscreen,
even after I told her that 'spf 30' works just as good for me.
She then asked me, "What's the big deal? You're not going anyway."
She was really getting on my nerves.
Then we went to the 'clothes' section.
She made me try on at least thirty different pairs of burmuda shorts,
because anything above the knee is inapropiate.
I asked her what's the point in following the rules; I'm not going, anyway.
Then she made me put my hand on the cart!
Like the way she used to make me do in the grocery store whenever I asked too many
times if I could get cookies.
Do you know how embarrassed I was?
The only fifteen-year-old ever forced to hold on to the cart! (filled with 'spf 56' sunscreen.)
Then she decided for me that I would wear six different shade of wife beaters. (aka Tanktops with thick
shoulder straps.)
She picked:
purple,
green,
orange,
white, (white! I mean, come on! She knows how hard it is for me to keep things white! I've spilled on almost everything I own!)
teal,
and red.
Then she made me pick out three bathing suits.
I picked a skimpy green one, with matching striped green and yellow bottoms.
Then I had to pick a one-piece, so I chose the one that has a bunch of cut-outs; Basically as covering as the two-piece.
Then I chose a brown-and-pink plaid tankini with matching brown bottoms.
That's about it of all the interesting items.
Oh, I got one of those super-long beach towels in yellow, and the average sized ones in brown and one in pink.
Well, I've got to go to bed.
I've got to get upearly so I can go to the stupid
camp information meeting tomorrow at eight o' clock in the morning.
Night!
~ Lottty M.
My mom suddenly got a bright idea to sign me up for summer camp today.
She didn't even ask me if I wanted to go.
She also bought this stupid book covered with butterflies and is trying to force
me to write in it.
I only agreed because I think it'll be cool to read what I thought was important now,
in ten years.
I said to her that I most-likely wasn't going to go to camp, because I had better things to
do.
She agrued, stating that my "better things to do" consisted of laying about the house, and
complaining of boredom.
I asked her why it was okay for her to do it while my dad was deployed to Iraq, and not me.
She made up some excuse about her "missing the other half of her soul", and that I'm too
young to understand.
Then I asked her why she doesn't just go to camp herself, and I could stay home, so
she wouldn't have to see me flattening down her couch.
She said it was good for me to get out and do things.
I said, "Same for you!"
She sent me to my room, where I'm currently still sentenced.
I thought I'd just record that in here.
I'll be back; Mom's calling me downstairs.
Hopefully she won't start talking about camp,
because I'll just ignore her and get sent back here again.
Don't be surprised if I'm back in five minutes.
~ Lotty M.
Dear "diary", June 9, 2008
Today Mom took me to the Wal*Mart to buy
stupid camp supplies.
I told her that there was no point in wasting her money on supplies, because I wasn't going.
Then I complained about getting clothes from Wal*Mart.
She asked me, "Why fight about it, when you're not going to wear them anyways?"
I said, "Good point." And i thought to myself, I'll just pick out the ugliest things,
and insist on getting two of everything, so she'll waste her money.
She dragged me to the makeup aisle, and insisted on grabbing the 'spf 56' sunscreen,
even after I told her that 'spf 30' works just as good for me.
She then asked me, "What's the big deal? You're not going anyway."
She was really getting on my nerves.
Then we went to the 'clothes' section.
She made me try on at least thirty different pairs of burmuda shorts,
because anything above the knee is inapropiate.
I asked her what's the point in following the rules; I'm not going, anyway.
Then she made me put my hand on the cart!
Like the way she used to make me do in the grocery store whenever I asked too many
times if I could get cookies.
Do you know how embarrassed I was?
The only fifteen-year-old ever forced to hold on to the cart! (filled with 'spf 56' sunscreen.)
Then she decided for me that I would wear six different shade of wife beaters. (aka Tanktops with thick
shoulder straps.)
She picked:
purple,
green,
orange,
white, (white! I mean, come on! She knows how hard it is for me to keep things white! I've spilled on almost everything I own!)
teal,
and red.
Then she made me pick out three bathing suits.
I picked a skimpy green one, with matching striped green and yellow bottoms.
Then I had to pick a one-piece, so I chose the one that has a bunch of cut-outs; Basically as covering as the two-piece.
Then I chose a brown-and-pink plaid tankini with matching brown bottoms.
That's about it of all the interesting items.
Oh, I got one of those super-long beach towels in yellow, and the average sized ones in brown and one in pink.
Well, I've got to go to bed.
I've got to get upearly so I can go to the stupid
camp information meeting tomorrow at eight o' clock in the morning.
Night!
~ Lottty M.
♠ ♠ ♠
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