Bam Margera's My Dad - What!

OK there is a few things that you have to know before reading this;

1. Social services sucks. They forced bam to force me into school. This is why I’m trying to apply the heaviest eyeliner i think i ever have.

2. I have been awake this early in forever! 7am...who gets up at this time

3. just about the only good thing about his whole going to school bullshit is i have Liss and K@y Ceeee to annoy in each of my classes

"JADE HURRY THE FUCK UP I NEED TO PISS!" bam hollered outside the bathroom door

"HEY BAM!" I yelled back

"What?" he groaned in response

I walked over to the door and opened it

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I yelled in his face. I finished tying up my doc martins - yes I'm admitting i have a pair - then walked out. I laughed when bam said 'about time' and slammed the door closed. I was downstairs in the pirate bar when ape unexpectedly pushed me into a chair and shoved pancakes in front of me.

" I haven't had to take kids into Chester this early in for ever. It brings back some memories" ape said as she shoved a cup of coffee next to me. I smiled at her in thanks as my mouth was full of pancakes.

" Do i get some pancakes?" bam asked walking down the stairs into the bar

"Are you going to school?..." bam shook his head in denial "...then no you don't. Here you go Liss" ape finished handing Liss a plate of pancakes "one or two sugars dear?"

" None i need energy"

--> An hour -->

" OK bitch show me you schedule" Liss said as we only just found my locker which i was attacking with a sharpie. On the front it had a MASSIVE heartagram, with tribal flames coming out of it. It looked fucking awesome.

"Freak" i heard some preppy blonde slut mutter as she walked past me in a belt and boob tube.

"WHALE!" i yelled back at her. She stop and turned around and waddled her way over to me.

" What did you just say?" she asked flicking her hair whilst Liss and K@y tried to hide their laughter.

"Holy fuck ever heard of a toothbrush? You smell like 16 different flavors of ass. And i called you a whale. And you forgot to but on your skirt this morning love."

" I don’t know who you think you are.." she said flicking her hair again

" gosh if you flick you hair one more time, your wig will fall off i promise and I’m Jade Margera bitch!" at my last comment Liss and K@y lost it they were on the floor laughing their asses off while i had a cheeky smirk on my face.

" Well you look like a freak!"Was her lame ass reply

" Well you look like Moby dick. And i know I’m a freak. Have you not heard silver chairs song 'freak'? Wait I’m talking to prep. A fucking Paris Hilton wanna-be!" i yelled as i walked away from here waving my hands around, being WAY over dramatic. I heard the girl’s footsteps behind me as i walked out of the school ad towards the curb to have a smoke.

"Oh my god that was classic." K@y said putting her head on my shoulder.

" I think i nearly pissed my self." Liss said before bursting into another fit of laughter

" FUCK DAMMIT!" i yelled unexpectedly the girls looked at me funny as a sign to explain

" I forgot to forehead slap her" i mumbled sending the girls into another fit.

And it’s only my first day