Bam Margera's My Dad - What!

We ended up order pizza as Missy and I burnt everything, including my hand.

Word of advice ladies and gents don't lean on a turned on hot-plate, it really fucking hurts.

Anyways Ape went ... well Ape shit when she saw the mess we had made, we swore we'd clean it up after pizza.

We headed up from the pirate bar into the lounge room.

Bam lazily walked over to the jute box and turned on H.I.M - 'Under The Rose'. I instantly felt a bit better. H.I.M does that to me.

After the smell of pizza flooded the house the CKY crew came from all areas and grabbed a box for themselves. We thought it would be best for everybody if they got their own box.

"What smells like burning? Why are we having pizza? And who's the Goth?" asked a sandy blonde from across the room from me. I think his name is raab or some shit.

"It smells like burning because your head is to close to your arse. We're having pizza because I said so. And I'm Jade" I said. My reply sent the entire room into laughter

"And your a bitch" he said taking a massive bite out of the pizza. I'm serious it was like half the fucking slice.

"OK I just realized I never introduced you to anybody" Bam said smacking Dico up the side of the head for trying to steal a piece of his pizza

"OK that fuck that you just put in his place is Raab, you know Dico and Ryan, that weird looking fuck over there making eyes at you is Novak," i turned and flipped him the bird. dont stare at me or it will be way worse for him.

"the long haired pussy is Yhon and that fat fuck over there making all the commotion is Vito. It would be best if you stayed away from him, he doesn't know good touch from bad touch." Bam said shoving another slice of pizza in his mouth

Suddenly, Bam came and jumped on my lap making me groan. You would to if you 'dad' fucking jumped on you.

"Don’t be surprised with what’s about to happen" Bam whispered in my ear.

I thought the CKY crew would sprout another head or something. Fuck me senseless was I wrong.

"OK can the cameras go off now?” Missy said in a... bitchy, would be the right word here, voice.

As soon as all the cameras were on the ground and the camera crew were helping themselves to pizza, I saw the real side to Missy.

"OK I'm getting the fuck outta here to eat with people who's company I actually enjoy." she said making me stop taking a chunk out of my slice and leaving it hang limply in my mouth " no offense to you Jade you actually seem like and alright little fucked up princess but seriously take my advise get away from these losers before you turn into one of them and to the rest of you, Hope you choke in your sleep. Goodnight!" she said walking out of the lounge room towards the front door.

"Where do you get off Melissa trying to turn Jade against us like that hurry up and get out!" Ape yelled as Missy slammed the front door.

This entire marriage was a sham...