Bam Margera's My Dad - What!

When I woke up that morning, it took me a second to register where the fuck i was.

I was in Castle fucking Bam.

" Jade are you awake sweetie?" Came that unwanted, unnaturally fake voice from the other side of the door.

"Nope..." i answered adding extra emphasis on the 'P' "... please leave a message after the beep. BEEEP!" i finished. I rolled over but went to far and landed face first on the floor, busting my fucking lip.

Thank fuck it wasn't my piercing again.

Despite my denial, missy still came in, camera in tow. I wonder how much trouble I’d get in if i destroyed them all?

" Jade, Bam told me about your conversation with Jerry last night. Is it necessary for Jerry to come over to make you feel better about staying here?" she asked.

She really fucking sucks at acting, and Bam was fucking eavesdropping.

That dirty motherfucker.

Missy came in and sat on the side of the bed where, I was still on the floor.

"Yes it is. You don’t fucking know what I’m really like. I'm not some fucking goody two shoes. Here I’ll give you an awesome fact... I hate cameras so get the fucker out of my face." i said finally getting up off the floor and heading to my wardrobe and picking out clothes to change into. I walked out of the room and into the bathroom to take a shower.

After i finished i wrapped a towel around me and i attacked Missy's make-up. Fuck her im not going without eyeliner. I started on my hair next. I had over ten extensions with me and i was determined on putting them all in. After i was happy with my appearance i got dressed and headed back into my room and searched for my flat bottoms. I wasn't in the mood for heels.

About two seconds after putting them on bam barged into my room.

"Come on the fuck damn plane land in an hour and you haven't eaten yet!" bam yelled. Christ Bam trying to send me deaf?...I'm in the same fucking room asshole!

! I got up and followed him out of my room down into the pirate bar, where bam shoved me into a chair and Ape placed a plate of Pancakes in front of me

"Tea or coffee Jade?" she asked walking towards the counter. i shot a look at her back like she was crazy

"Coffee, two sugars and milk please." i answered and started scoffing my pancakes.

Ape walked back over and handed me my coffee. I might just keep ape, she makes a good coffee.

“Ok fuckers, were getting visitors today, and because Jade is the reason were having a party in the first place… she gets to decide who plays.” Bam announced

“Murderdolls” I answered taking a sip of my coffee.

What? they’re an awesome band.

Bam stood up unexpectedly and walked up. He didn’t seem pissed off. I was the next to leave. As I was heading up to my room I heard a bit of his and I guess Wednesday 13’s conversation.

“yeah its good to have her… she really different to what I expected ya know? I expected a fucking preppy ‘oh my god’ girl instead I got a death metal rocker slash goth… really?! That’s so awesome… no he’s not coming but MCR is…” Bam said into the phone.

At this point, I couldn’t ignore my nicotine cravings any longer. I jumped the stairs two at a time, raced into my room, grabbed my packets and I was on the deck in record time. As I lit up I felt the receptors in my brain instantly relax.

“Hey jade…um… Can we have a talk” Bam asked from behind me.

“I know you heard my conversation with jerry last night missy told me” I said making rings with my smoke. It takes a lot of talent (or one night of being completely pissed), to learn how to do that.

“ I can really understand where you’re coming from and I don’t blame you for wanting a friend here to help you. So im perfectly happy with jerry come over as long as he brings a fucking board. I wanna have a mini skate comp it would be so cool!” Bam said rubbing he hands together like he was planning something.

“anyways I gotta get ready to get the boys that smell like fucking daisies have fun and after twelve all the cameras are fucking off so you don’t have to worry” he finished walking back inside

I realized that the rest of my smoke had smoldered away so I put it out and headed up stairs for an hour.
FF an Hour
I heard the cars pull up and the ‘ I swear I’m never doing that again’ and ‘ I still cant feel my fucking leg’ and of course the ‘ you fucking drooled on me Jussi! What did you expect, I had to get pay back some how!’ that one was my personal favourite. What did I do this past hour?

Nothing, But started at my fucking ceiling.
“Bitches and Jadey, get your arses down here and stop being anti-social!” Bam yelled. Everyone but me gave a groan and moved from the spots in the house. I stayed put. I was fucking comfortable!

“that’s it im coming up they Jadey!” what’s with this Jadey bullshit. Oh well I don’t have the energy to argue with bam about it. I heard his footsteps running up the stairs.

I didn’t really want to do this, if I go all fan-girl, remind me, to slap the living shit outta myself. He reached in and closed my door just so he could kick it open a second later.

“ What the fuck Bam? It fucking door was open!” I yelled as he dragged me up from my spot on the bed and dragged me downstairs and stopped me right in front of Ville

“…uh hi?” I said.

Hey! You’d be the same if a Finnish rock god were suddenly face to face with you.

“Hello love” he replied in that accent that made me sink into the floorboards.