Bam Margera's My Dad - What!

Ok. So I will admit I did not like walking in and seeing my mother. Apparently the baby didn't either because that was the exact time it wanted to give me morning sickness

"mother fucker" I moaned as my hand flew up to cover my mouth and a ran up the stairs into the bathroom and threw up everything I had possibly ever eaten.

"Brandon I am her mother and I know what she is going through I will speak to her" I heard Carmen say as she approached the bathroom

"you stay the fuck away from me Carmen. Dad? Can you get me some water please?" I yelled and stuck my head in the bowl again to empty my stomach

"hey Carmen how does it feel to know even your own daughter hates you?" Pedro yelled from the floor below me

"wait your Carmen?" came the Finnish accent of one Ville Valo.

I laughed as I accepted a cup of water from bam. Morning sickness is not fun. I accepted Bam’s hand as he helped me up and hugged me.

"Pedro I don't even know how you got into this country let alone house. Why don't you shut your fucking mouth before I actually give you something to whinge and bitch about?" Carmen yelled back

Wow not only does this fucking whore come into a house she is not fucking welcome in she then has the balls to disrespect someone who has much more respect than her.

"how about you learn your fucking place before I come up there and kick you in the vag!" yelled k@@yyy

Both me and Bam laughed hard when Carmen’s face Turned into one of shock horror and somewhat disbelief.

"I'm not leaving until I talk to Jadiah and until then I will be downstairs" Carmen said turning on her four inch heels and leaving the bathroom.

"Can't we call the cops or some bullshit?" I asked Bam as he dragged his hand threw his hair and sighed.

"Three steps ahead of you love." Ville said holding up the cordless phone.

I smiled as I gave him a hug than walked downstairs to see Frank hip thrusting behind Carmen’s head.

I let out a small squeak as I felt arms wrap around my waist and a small kiss was laid behind and just under my ear.

"Why hello miss jade how are you today?" said mister Wednesday mother-fucking 13 who was sitting to the right of Carmen on the other lounge.

"Why hello mister Wednesday how is your fucked up self?" I replied as Hades still held me around the waist

"now Miss Grace - Margera was that the always great morning sickness I heard at about five o'clock this afternoon?" Synyster said.

I was surprised when I saw the Dudesons, avenged sevenfold and their girlfriends, the eyes, Sophie and the cky crew all packed into the lounge room and shooting Carmen strange looks.

"Nah it's sex poisoning." I said looking around at everyone wondering why the fuck they were all here

"ok bitches why the hell are we all packing in here for?" Bam Said opening the door and walking outside

"because there is someone in your lounge room that we don't recognize and she is just glaring. Bam? Who is She?" asked shads.

"Jade’s mother. I don't want to fucking talk about it. I need a fucking beer" Bam said walking back through the lounge room and heading down to the pirate bar.

I couldn't help but smile at the collective growl when Bam said 'jade's mother.

I was the first person to walk down to the pirate bar to try and consulate Bam. I walked over to the freezer and got out the cookie dough ice cream and two spoons before walking over to the island in the middle of the kitchen and sitting down across from Bam, who was peeling the sticker off his bottle. I handed him a spoon with he accepted with a smile and opened the tub.

“Ok spill. What has your g-string in a complicated knot?" I said to try and get the ball rolling

"it's nothing" he replied shoving a massive amount into his mouth. I doubled over in laughter when he grabbed his head complaining about a brain freeze. Yes Bam that is what happens when you shove too much ice cream into your mouth in a ploy not to have to talk to your daughter.

"Ok then. Then why is everybody upstairs... I mean that nicely but why are they here?" I asked stealing the tub back.

" well because you three are going to reveal your Prego and who to, then, them upstairs, are all going to choose who gets to smack Pedro, Hades and grim. I'm hoping they choose shadows, because shadows is a tank you know?" Bam replied.

I laughed bit stopped when I saw he was serious.

"Uh dad? Do you realize if it shadows he will get flogged back. I can guarantee that Pedro won't just allow Matt to attack him and I'm pretty sure none of the other guys will either. So that plan will backfire a little bit" I replied pushing the ice cream towards Bam. He caught it
and took a spoonful

"I'm still trying to get over the fact I'm going to be a grandfather at thirty two jade. Now I know exactly how Phil felt when I told him Carmen was pregnant. Just promise me one thing? Don't make the same mistakes as Carmen did. Let Hades be apart of this kids life. Missing
out on your child's life is the worst thing that could happen to anyone
as a parent." Bam said with a lone tear falling from his eye.

"Bam, why would I do something like that? For seventeen years I have hated Carmen grace I vowed I would never be like her. And I would never want my kid growing up like I've had to. Hades will be a part of this kid’s life as will everyone upstairs. Believe it or not we are all
one big fucked up family no matter what those freaks up stairs say. “I said reaching across the table for the ice cream.

"Have you and Hades thought about names yet? Cause I like the name Bamita for a girl and Bam for a boy." Bam Said changing the subject and making me laugh.

"I'm not naming my baby after you. I was thinking about sticking with the fucked up names tradition that got me and Hades" I said sliding the ice cream back over towards Bam.

Now because Bam is an asshole he decided to take advantage of the fact I was no longer drinking. And pour his beer into the ice cream. He smiled at me before getting up and grabbing the carton of mint chocolate and sliding it towards me.

"And to think I was about to kill you" I said pulling the lid of the carton and grabbing a spoonful.