Learn How to Lie

Mmm, the next morning was nice. I opened my eyes and stretched to find my face in Brendon's NAKED chest. My mouth hung open a little. I forced my eyes to move higher, to meet Brendon's eyes. They were open and looking up at nothing. Then, they slowly met mine. His hands found my forearms and he pulled me down, giving me a morning kiss. I couldn't help but fall into temptation since his shirt was off.... I pressed my lips once more to him, holding his face to mine. I moved over him so I was more comfortable. He moved a hand to my back and pushed me down more. I kissed down his neck then down his chest and too his pant line. He huffed loudly. I licked into his pants and his eyes grew huge.

"No!" He yelped pulling me up. I blushed and looked at him strange. I bit my lip, feeling the big sensation that I just did something horribly wrong ( and another sensation down in my pants ). Brendon pushed me off of him and got out of the bed. He wobbled a little since the bus was moving. I looked at him, worried as fuck. My eyes began to sting a little. His jaw dropped and his eyes told me he liked what I just did. But, the rest of his face told me he was afraid. He was afraid to be gay. I felt like I just got punched in the gut. I should have know better. My eyes looked down at where is beautiful body had been laying and I sighed. He stood there for another second before nervously walking away. I flopped down on my tummy, headfirst into the pillow he used to sleep on. I took a big whiff of it and began to cry. I told myself that crying was useless. There really wasn't no reason for it. But, still. I thought I had him. I thought he liked me. But. . .

I was wrong.

It's not like we were even dating. Or, were we? I don't know. My head began to spin. I was glad I was already laying down. Perhaps I should just suffocate myself in the pillow and just get it over with. Why should I exist if the one person I loved hated me for. . . Making him love the same sex? That's when I felt anger shiver up my spin. This was the first time I was ever mad at Brendon. Why is it such a big deal that he likes me? Just because I have a penis? I'll cut it off it that'll make him want me! Fuck, I'll get boobs too! I'll become a Brandy! If that is what it takes for him to fuck me 'till my brains seep out of my ears then so be it!

As long as I'm with him I don't care.