Don't Say You Love Me

Shilo’s P.O.V

It’s been a week since the party and I haven’t seen anyone since. The day after I got a really bad cold I stayed at home while Matt and the guys have been recording their next CD. Ann had decided to move to Huntington and went back to Florida to get her stuff. Luckily I haven’t seen Zacky. I’ve been avoiding him like the plague ever since the party. The next morning after the party I realized that I really wasn’t ready to be more than friends with guys right now.

I know that it was a mistake telling Zacky that we could take it slow. I know that I’m going to have to face him sometime soon because he’s left me a few messages, but I can’t bring myself to talk to him. I was heading downstairs when I heard the front door slam. I went downstairs and saw Matt livid.

“Hey Matt what’s going on?” I asked kind of worried. I’ve never seen him this angry. “That fucker didn’t show up to the studio today and he’s not answering his phone. Jimmy and I went over to his house and he wasn’t there. We have no fucking clue where he could be and he knew he was suppose to meet us at the studio today” said a furious Matt as he paced the living room.

“Well maybe he could be home right now….let me try calling him” I said as I picked up the phone and dialed Brian’s number. It rang a few times before somebody picked up. “Hello” said a female voice, “Um…Hi is Brian there?” I asked cautiously. I wonder who the girl is. “Ya who’s speaking?” the voice asked. “Shilo” I said, just then I heard the voice giggle.

“Oh Shilo, it’s me Michelle. Ya Brian’s here why don’t you come over and talk to him he really needs to see you and only you” she said, I thought about it for a second. Why would he need to see me alone? Where was he all day? “Sure I’ll be there in a minute” I said as I hung up.

I turned and headed to the kitchen to find Matt demolishing a tub of ice-cream. “Hey Matt I’m going to go out for a while okay? I shouldn’t be long” I said as I grabbed his car keys and left. It only took me a few minutes to get to Brian’s house and when I pulled up I saw Michelle’s car and Brian’s car in the driveway.

I quickly parked and got out. I made my way to the front door and knocked a few times. I waited a few more minutes before I knocked again. Just then I heard someone open the door and there stood Michelle with a huge grin on her face. “Hey Shilo, come on in” she said as she led me into the house. Once inside I noticed something. All the curtains were pulled down to make the house dark and there were dozens upon dozens of empty bottles.

“What’s going on?” I asked as I turned back to Michelle. “Oh nothing but you might want to go upstairs to see Brian” she said with a small laugh as she pointed towards the stairs. Now I didn’t trust Michelle but where else could I have looked for Brian. I made my way up the stairs cautiously listening for any sounds of life upstairs. I walked all the way to what looked like Brian’s room and pushed the door slightly open.

There on his bed was Brian passed out. On closer inspection I found that his face was extremely pale and sickly. “He’s been like that for a while” said Michelle from behind me. “What’s wrong with him?” I asked as I crouched down to his level and moved some hair out of his face. “Well Mr. Druggie got into a drug problem” she said with a smile. I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Why are you smiling? Do you think this is funny?” I questioned with anger. She just rolled her eyes and left. I heard the front door slam meaning that she was gone. I looked around the room and suddenly noticed a foul smell. It seems like Brian threw up and looking closer in his room I saw white powder on his side table and automatically knew what it was.

Suddenly I heard a groan I looked over to Brian and saw him trying to move but incapable of doing so. I quickly went over to his side; he looked up at me with shock. “Shy” he slurred; I quickly felt a pang of sadness of him. What could drive some people to do this to them selves? “Brian are you okay?” I asked quietly. He shook his head sadly and then fell back on his bed.

“What hurts?” I asked, he just remained silent as I got up I heard him mutter something. “What is it Bri?” I asked, and he spoke louder this time. “Out of all the people I didn’t want me seeing like this…you were my number one” he said as he took in a shake sigh and closed his eyes. He looked so depressed….so sad. “Why?” I questioned as I sat back down. At this he opened his eyes to look at me.

“Because Shy…..I like you and I knew if you saw me like this it would kill any chance I had with you” he said as he took my hand in his. I sighed, just what I needed right now. “Stay here I’ll be back” I said as I got up and went into his bathroom. I wetted a towel and went back to put it on Brian’s head. “Why are you here?” he asked as he just looked at me. “Somebody needs to take care of you” I said as I stayed sitting by his side.