I Can't Let Go of This Love

Kira POV

“I don’t care Brian, his excuses are not going to work, I know what he did, Jimmy called me and told me everything,” I said in a agitated tone, I had been on the phone for over thirty minutes, trying to explain that I was not going to forgive Matt, at least not this easily.

“But his sorry, it was a moment of weakness, just talk to him,” Brian practically begged, but I was not going to give in.

“Sure I’ll talk to him,” I said, “but only to tell him to stop calling me,” I finished, I heard him sigh.

“Look, I can understand why your mad-” Brian began but I cut him off.

“Oh really so your husband cheated on you?” I asked with sarcasm laced words, “Look Brian, I’d love to stay and chat all day but I have to go look after my kids, another thing Matt doesn’t have to worry about,” I said as I said my goodbyes and hung up. I walked into October’s room and woke her, she sat up, looking tired, smiling I left the room and headed into Brandon’s, he was lying on his side with his arm under his head, it was a something he did that reminded me so much of Matt. Shaking him gently, I waited for him to open his eyes, when he didn’t move, I smiled when he rolled over and looked at me, eyes wide.

“Why you waking me so early mommy?” he questioned, I giggled.

“Its half eleven baby, now get up,” I said with a smile, he groaned and sat up quickly. “I’m going to make breakfast, so come on,” I stated, lifting him from the bed and resting him on my hip. I began to walk down the stair, taking October’s hand in my own. When we reached the kitchen, I sat Bran down and watched as he ran to a chair and attempted to climb into the chair, Tobi giggled before running to his aid. When they were both settled in a chair, I place the cereal in front of them, along with two bowls and spoons. They both happily munched on their cereal.

“What we do today mommy?” Tobi asked, I smiled and gave them both a glass of orange juice.

“We are going to get Auntie Emilie from the airport,” I explained, both their faces lit up as they hurried to finish their cereal, I laughed before cleaning up their bowls and bring them back upstairs to get them changed.

“I wanna wear my avenged hoodie,” Tobi stated, I sighed and grabbed it for her as she pulled on jeans and a t-shirt. Bring Brandon into his room I got him changed before we all got in the car and began to drive to the airport.

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“Kira,” Emilie screamed as she came through the arrivals, I smiled as the kids ran to her, she smiled and embraced them before coming to me. “how are you holding up?” she questioned, I shrugged.

“Living,” I answered with a slight smile, I looked down at the kids, “I have to,” I finished before taking the kids hands and heading towards baggage claim, once Em had all her bags, we all headed back to the car. I strapped the kids into their car seats and once I knew they were safe I began to drive. Short conversation was made on the ride to my house, mainly Emilie asking questions and me giving one word replies.

When we reached the house, Emilie grabbed her bags as I got the kids out of the car, opening the front door, I was greeted by the photo’s of Matt and the kids on the wall, I felt tears fall down my cheeks as I tried to stop them.

“Are you okay?” Em asked, I shook my head, “Go play in the living room,” I heard Em say to the kids, the squealed and took off in that direction, I sniffed trying to steam the flow of tears.

“I want it to be a lie, but I know its not, what am I going to do?” I choked out as the tears came quicker.

“You go upstairs and relax and I’ll look after the kids,” She demanded, I nodded and began to ascend up the stairs.

Once I was in the bathroom, I locked the door and began to run the water in the bath tub, once I was satisfied with the amount of water, I removed my clothes and lowered myself into the water, it was hot and relaxed me, my eyes still releasing tears but not as many as before, my heart still aching, never to be patched back together, and my mind still confused and caught up in the web Matt’s lies hand spun. I needed him, that was certain, but I would have to get over that need, I had to move on. He had moved on, I needed and wanted to be loved and I needed to be with a man that would not cheat and never lie. I leaned back and rested my head against the tub, closing my eyes as my body relaxed in the hot water, my eyes stopped raining and I finally felt like I was ready stop crying over Matt.

I heard an excited squeal from downstairs, I smiled and began to get out of the bath and dry off, I got dressed into fresh clothes and exited the bathroom, walking downstairs I laughed as my kids were on top of Emilie, tickling her. My laughter caught their attention as they began to run at me.