No Regrets (What's Done Is Done)

Chapter Sixteen:

June 6, 2008 - 2:15 P.M.
Belfast, Ireland

I walked timidly between Marco and Sib as we broke away from Colleen and p0d to go look at the penguins. I honestly didn't know how great of an idea this was going to turn out to be for Colleen, or me. What if I went back to acting like I had before? I really didn't want to be so shy around the guys, but I feared that if I didn't have Colleen's presence with me, that that's exactly what might end up happening again. It also didn't help that the two boys were chatting happily with one another about a subject I didn't even really know anything about.

You could say I was feeling a little uncomfortable at the moment, but then again, it was a very rare thing to ever find me completely comfortable with something. Only Colleen has seen me like that before, and that's because I was wasted out of my mind.

So, I did the only thing I knew how to do when it came to moments like this in my life. I made my eyes drop to the ground and pretended to study my scuffed-up, old tennis shoes like they were the most interesting thing in the world.

I was really starting to wish I would've just stuck with Colleen. Even if I was quiet, I still hated feeling completely invisible and that's exactly how I was starting to feel right now.

It was like this for what seemed like hours, even though it was only actually probably only a few minutes. We had a nice, steady pace going in our walk, but I managed to fall behind the two slightly. As I did, I allowed my eyes to rise from the ground again. I honestly thought that they wouldn't notice that I wasn't beside them anymore.

I should've known by now, that, with this group, whenever I believe one thing, the opposite seems to happen. Because, as soon as I slowed my steps down, Marco stopped chuckling at whatever Sib had just told him, and looked back at me with confusion written in his facial features.

Sib's laughter was cut off as soon as he saw his friend's change in behavior. Then, he too, looked back in my direction. It took only a second before his face mimicked a mask of Marco's.

They both stared at me like this for a few moments, while I stood there looking back and fourth between the two, probably feeling just as confused as they were at the moment. I could see the outline of the entrance for the penguin exhibit a few feet in front of us. Why had we stopped walking?

"Are you alright?" Marco asked slowly, using a soft tone for the second time today. It almost looked like he was afraid he was going to frighten me again. "You've been, well, more quiet than you have been all day today."

"Oh, uh, well," I nervously sputtered out, taken aback by his sudden question. I guess they weren't trying to make me feel left out. Maybe they were just waiting for me to speak up.

A wide smirk began to cover Sib's face as I fought to find the words to answer Marco's question. I mean, I was, in all honesty, perfectly fine. I just didn't want to tell them that I had actually thought that they had forgotten about my presence.

That would be, to me, quite embarrassing.

"I think she's fine, Marco," Sib answered for me suddenly, cutting off my quick, one-worded babblings. He stared intently at me as I slowly allowed my mouth to close. Then smirked even wider at me once he knew I was going to let him continue to speak. "I think it was actually us at fault here. A little too caught up in our own conversation."

Marco shot his friend a curious look as he thought about what Sib had just said before a sudden look of understanding seemed to light up across his face. "Oh!" he let out quickly, sending me an almost apologetic looking glance in the process. "Sorry about that. I sort of forgot that you've only been hanging out with us for a few weeks, and not, well–" He stopped as he looked over at Sib, sending him a look that was asking him to help him finish his statement.

Sib quickly caught onto his look and smiled towards me as he answered. "What he's trying to say is that it feels like we've known you longer than what we actually have."

I couldn't help but allow my lips to form into a smile from that remark. My thoughts only moments before had been wrong. "Don't worry about it," I told them while I averted my eyes from the two, looking back over at the penguin exhibit. "It's fine."

Marco nodded his head quickly, smirking, while Sib snapped his head around so he could follow my line of sight. Then just as quickly, his head snapped back towards me with a knowing look placed on his face. "You ready to go look at those penguins?" he questioned. I could tell he was trying to hold back a smirk.

My eyes lit up with the previously forgotten excitement as I nodded my head eagerly. "Yeah! Let's go!"

Marco shot Sib a rather amused look, which Sib returned before they started leading me towards the exhibit.

At first, there was a large crowd gathered all around the exhibit, making it very hard to for me to see the small, black and white birds. But, as we patiently waited for the families and tour groups to continue on, the crowd slowly began to grow smaller, and, before I knew it, there was an open spot in the very front of the crowd that no one was claiming that looked wide enough to fit three people.

Without thinking twice, I broke away from the two boys and made a mad dash towards the spot, though I still watched what was in front of me. I didn't want to accidently plow over any children on the way.

When I reached the handrail, I gripped onto it like my life depended on it, and watched in amazement as the tiny birds in front of me waddled their way from the land, to the water, and back again.

The sound of two familiar laughs quickly met my ears, and I was soon slightly squished in between Marco and Sib as they came up to lean easily against the open spots of rail on either side of me.

"You really like animals, don't you?" Sib questioned randomly while watching the penguins with an almost bored expression.

I nodded slowly, not taking my eyes away from the penguins as he continued to speak to me.

"Are you going to school, or anything, for something in the animal field then?" he asked, true curiosity lurking in his voice.

I hesitantly tore my eyes away from a penguin that was currently working on eating a fish so that I could look at Sib with a small smirk.

"Nah. I mean I like them and all, but none of the jobs that actually involve animals have ever caught my interest," I told him, voicing my answer to Marco as well, as he listened closely to our conversation from my other side. I had a feeling that a game of twenty questions was going to occur soon.

"What are you planning on doing then?" Sib urged, turning his attention away from the penguins and completely to me.

A shy smile overtook my smirk as I answered him. "I'm actually attending college right now in hopes to become a magazine journalist."

Sib let out a low whistle at my answer, raising both eyebrows in the air as if he was impressed.

I chuckled at him and shook my head a bit, feeling slightly embarrassed by his reaction.

It was quiet for a few moments as we all turned our attentions back to the flightless birds in front of us. One particular penguin caught my attention as I watched it waddle happily over to where another group of penguins were standing.

When it came to penguins, I could be amused very easily, for a very long time. I was hoping we didn't have a specific time limit or anything. I knew I couldn't spend all day here, but I hated only having a specific amount of time to do something. I didn't like feeling rushed.

"So, where exactly are you and Colleen from?" Marco asked suddenly, making me jump as he successfully broke the comfortable silence that surrounded us.

I continued staring at the creatures in front of me as I slowly calmed my racing heart down. "Mackinac Island, Michigan," I told him, still keeping my gaze in front me. I knew we would probably have to be getting back soon, and I wanted to watch the penguins for as long as I could. They were, after all, my favorite animal.

"Mackinac Island?" he repeated quietly, like most people did when I first told them where I was from. I wasn't really sure why. It was a big tourist spot, but people still seemed to have trouble figuring out what I was talking about when I told them where I lived.

"Yes," I assured him, holding back the small laugh that was threatening to erupt from my lips. For some reason, the fact that I always had to repeat my hometown's name twice, made me want to laugh, but I also didn't want to make Marco feel bad or anything so I attempted to hide it. "Mackinac Island. It's a pretty cool place, I guess."

"You guess?" Marco asked with a tint of confusion lurking in his voice.

I nodded my head slowly while shrugging my shoulders slightly. "I don't mind it there or anything, it's just, it's kind of boring. I mean, in some ways, the fact that there's no cars and things have kind of stayed the same since the 1800's is nice. It's not the same as everywhere else. But, at the same time, the fact that nothing has changed makes life so bland. The people, the neighborhoods, the scenery. It's all the same." I paused as a small grimace of distaste began to form across my face. "I mean, where's the fun in life if everything stays the same and nothing ever–"

"Changes?" Sib cut in, finishing my sentence for me yet again.

I stared at him, with my mouth still hanging open as if I was going to finish my sentence, before I hesitantly closed it and gave him a quick nod. I didn't really get how he always seemed to be able to read me so easily all of the time. I mean, Colleen has always told me that my face gives me away, but I've only known Sib for a little bit over a week. Surely, I wasn't really that easy to read, was I?

Sib chuckled a bit at me before he turned his attention back to the animals in front of him again, looking almost uninterested in our conversation as he leaned himself up against the railing. "I know how you feel. I've always felt the same," he muttered in a soft tone.

I didn't say anything to him as he continued to just stare ahead of him. His eyes were slightly squinted as he looked ahead of him, as if he was thinking deeply about something. It was strange. From what I knew about him, it seemed like he always had something to say. I don't think I've ever seen him so quiet before.

Marco was also quiet on the other side of me. It was almost like he could sense Sib's sudden change in behavior. I wondered if it seemed strange to him to, or if I was just reading too much into it.

My eyes stayed glued to Sib's face as the seconds ticked by. His facial features seemed to stay frozen in the same place until he let out a loud sigh, before proceeding to lazily push himself back up into a standing position.

His hand immediately went into his front pocket, pulling out a small, cell phone.

It was only then that I realized I too had brought my phone with me, and I quickly mimicked his actions. I used my thumb to flip it open, then looked down at the clock. Once I noticed the time, I realized we would probably have to get going, since Colleen would most likely be done looking around with Pádraig by now.

I snapped the phone shut again, then stuffed it back into its previous position in my front pocket. I didn't want to leave this place yet. I liked it here.

When I looked back up again, my eyes automatically went back to studying Sib. To my surprise, the seriousness that just covered his face moments ago, was replaced with a sarcastic looking smile.

"Guess it's time to tell your new friends, 'bye'," he told me while gesturing towards the penguins.

Besides me, Marco let out a quiet snicker at Sib's statement, while I scowled lightly at him. My scowl had no effect on him however, it only made his smile grow wider.

While rolling my eyes, I turned back to where the penguins were, sending them one last look, before I forced myself to let go of the rail.

Marco quickly followed my actions and he began weaving a trail through the people for Sib and I to follow. Of course, this didn't go as smoothly as I would've liked it to. While we were trying to escape from the mass of people, I tripped and stumbled numerous times over my own two feet as I attempted to avoid running into people.

Still we eventually reached an opening, and I quickened my pace so I could escape the mass of bodies that seemed to be enclosing me. I didn't really like being stuck in large crowds of people. It made me feel like everyone was watching me, judging me, and I hated that feeling.

Once we broke out into an open space, I could hear Sib's light chuckling from behind me as a small rush of heat began to rush up to my face. Why did Sib have to be the one who was behind me?

"You're a real graceful one, aren't you?" he teased, walking easily besides me, trapping me in between him and Marco.

"She trip a lot, or something?" Marco asked, not giving me a chance to stick up for myself against Sib's accusation.

Sib snorted, as if what Marco just asked was an understatement. "Try the whole time she was trying to walk through that group of people. It was practically just one big trip. Not walking."

Marco let out a loud laugh, then smiled down at me in a way that almost frightened me.

"You're going to be a fun one to have around," he said, making me gulp loudly as all the thoughts of what they could do to embarrass me started rushing through my mind.

The boys took in my sudden nervous expression and let out small snickers of amusement, while I stayed silent. It wasn't fair. It was two against one, and I was no good at these types of games. I had tried countless times with Colleen back in high school to come up with some sort of comeback for my defense, but it never worked. She could always twist my words around, which would end up confusing me even more, and then I'd end up saying something I didn't even mean to say.

Sib and Marco's laughter soon died down, and then went back to interrogating me with numerous, random, questions.

They had asked me how long I had known Colleen, what life was like on Mackinac Island, if I liked highschool, if I had ever done anything totally crazy during my high school days, what my favorite color was, and what my favorite food was.

My head was pretty much swimming with confusion as they rushed through the line of questions, and I was soon beginning to answer them without even thinking about it first. That was, until Sib decided to ask about my past relationships.

His question made my face start to burn as I struggled to come up with an answer for him that wouldn't make me embarrass myself.

I really only had been in one relationship back home, but I rarely ever spoke about it to anyone. Everyone knew not to bring the subject up, but once in awhile they would slip and end up asking some sort of question about it.

You could say, ever since then, that I've been too afraid to even try and get back into a relationship with anyone again.

After running a short debate in my head about whether I should tell him or not, I decided that lying about it would be the best thing for me to do right now, so that's exactly what I did.

His face held confusion as I managed to sputter out my answer to him, and it looked as if he was going to question me even further. But I beat him to the chase by turning and asking Marco a random question that had popped in my head just in the nick of time, and the subject was soon forgotten.

Marco was right in the middle of telling a story when we reached the entrance, and a sense of surprise went through me when I didn't see Colleen already there. She was the one who always beat me to the chase. She has always been the early one between the two of us.

I tried to ignore the small voice in the back of my mind that was telling me that the cause of her delay might've been because something happened between her and p0d, and tried to pay closer attention to the story Marco was telling, laughing along with Sib when he got to a funny part.

But, even Marco's funny story couldn't fully distract me from checking my surrounding's constantly to see if the two missing people from our group were anywhere near us.

A few more minutes went by before I allowed my eyes to scan my surroundings again, and it was then when I first saw Colleen and p0d. From where I stood, I could clearly see that something was going on between the two. P0d's hand was wrapped around Colleen's wrist, which made my teeth suddenly grind against one another in a sudden flare of anger. He had no right to grab a hold of her like that.

However, just as I was about to march away from Sib and Marco to go confront Pádraig, I felt a sense of confusion shoot through me. His face wasn't holding the smug, easy-going look to it like it normally did. Instead, it looked to me as if he was ashamed.

He stopped talking, and I assumed Colleen was saying something to him now. His face began to perk up slightly again as she spoke to him, and he quickly let go of the hold he had on her wrist.

They immediately started walking towards us again once they were done with their little confrontation, and my eyes quickly shot back to Marco and Sib. I was entirely aware that Colleen knew I had seen her and p0d, but I wanted to look as natural as I could anyway.

It was only a few seconds before I felt a presence standing next to me. I knew that it would be Colleen, but I didn't look in her direction yet. I would wait a few more seconds until the three boys got distracted enough, to send her my curious look.

As soon as the three boys started talking about what we should do now that we were done with the zoo, I allowed my eyes to shoot over to Colleen so I could send her my questioning glance.

The moment I did it, her eyes landed on me, and it was then that I noticed just how tired and, almost, worn she had looked.

A sudden sense of worry went through me as I looked at my friend, because she never looked like this unless something serious happened.

She easily shook off my look though, but I knew we would end up discussing it later on. I would just have to be patient until the two of us were alone.

I knew she didn't want anyone else to see our little exchange, so I turned my attention back to Marco, Sib, and p0d, just in time to hear a suggestion from Marco about what we should do now that we were done at zoo. "We should just go hang out at a pub or something," he muttered while cautiously looking around at all of us to see what we had thought about his idea.

We all unconsciously looked around at one another before we all put in some type of agreement about the decision.

The boys seemed very excited as we began to leave the zoo, and I sent one last look at the place behind me that I was sure I would remember for a long time to come.

Then as I sent Colleen a small smile, which she returned, I turned away and quickened my pace so I could catch up to the suddenly very eager Marco, Sib, and p0d.

I had a feeling that the rest of tonight was going to be interesting. Especially if alcohol was going to be involved.